Lorna the Sloven

The 15yo g/son came for a tutoring session followed by dinner. As well as GCSE English, he got a lesson in how to peel potatoes and mash them for cottage pie topping. And he went home thrilled that he's finally won the heart of Miss Hettie. He's a natural with cats, she's learned.

My heart rate was apparently a little high. Well of course it was: being very tired, knowing I'd be driving at my sleepy time of 3pm, I'd taken an extra dexamfetamine. Oops.

ECG this pm to ensure that I'm safe to have 20 mins of GA for my cataract surgery. An undignified process as the pads are stuck on. "Do your boobs hang low? Do they wobble to and fro? Can you tie them in a knot? Can you tie them in a bow? Can you toss them over your shoulder..."

This is one of my favourite things ever. If I need CPR, send this little guy. www.facebook.com/reel/2923391...

Pre-op assessment for my cataract surgery last Friday. "Are you pregnant?" was one of the ques (I'm having a GA). All I can say is she hadn't looked at my date of birth and I must look close to the 37 I so often claim to be.

I have done only 1 forward roll/roly poly (call it what you will) in my entire life. It frightened me so much that I have never done it since. Please tell me that I'm not the only person on the planet to have done only 1.

To plagiarise somewhat: You've never lived until you've seen Your husband in his scanties Chasing the bin truck down the road - Its bumper snagged his panties.

Stump van one side of road. Camper van a bit further down on other side. Small hatchback (Fiesta size) slalomed past at crawl pace, horn beeping furiously Considering I'd seen the motorway recovery vehicle negotiate it with ease a few minutes earlier, it said more about his driving than the parking.

"I'm going to say something," said OH, "and for once in your life, do as you're told." Stump Man's here to take out the bay tree multi-stem root. Engaging with him in conversation means you never get away. OH now knows the complete history of the stump machine & its recent bout of ill-health.

Back into winter clothing (jumpers, socks, t-shirts, jeans/trousers). My natural plumage. Happy me.

Went to book group, at a house I've not been to before. Looking for no. 132. Found 130 and 134. 132 had clearly been knocked down and 4 houses built on its former site. Knocked on a door. They didn't recognise the hostess' name. Went home to check. Should have been looking for 162. Duh.

I have made koeksisters for tomorrow's book group meeting. They're mentioned in the first chapter and I flipping love them, so a good excuse to indulge. Pic from Google. Mine look similar - quite haphazard.

Oh-oh... Our old allotment neighbour has just come to the door and OH invited him in. I'm still in my nightclothes, still in bed, working myself up to a shower and hair wash. The bathroom is at the sitting room end of the house, so I can't sneak down there unnoticed.

We have a number of different hospitals at which our various appointments take place, so I asked Mr Sloven, "Where's your colonoscopy going to be?" I won't tell you his answer but the name of a hospital didn't arise. Rude man.

Home from a week in Somerset, catching up with friends in the area and enjoying pastries with @ladyweathergirl.bsky.social , @quilterdown.bsky.social and @catsmother.bsky.social . Home to a welcome from Hettie (delivered from the cattery by daughter #2) who insists that no-one's fed her all week.

The most depressing thing about the ITV expose on Reform is that their supporters will watch it and agree with what the men say. Decent people will be shocked/appalled - though few will be surprised. Their supporters will continue to endorse them.

An afternoon of socialising and a 1.5hr drive and I was whacked. In bed by 9.30, asleep before 10. Back to the GP next week to push for more investigations.

@mushen.bsky.social Hello, Mushen - @fdb.graphics says he thinks you recently got a Ford Puma. It's a car I'm thinking about when I have to change mine, which won't be long. Are you happy to chat about it?

I'm a cat.

At some point in the not too distant future, I'm going to have to change my battered, leaking, 12yo and much-loved Ford BMax. I'm looking at the EcoSport (reviews aren't great) and Puma (very good reviews). Do any of you have either of these? If so, how do you find them?

The 15yo, aware that he doesn't always understand social niceties & conventions (ASD), asked his mother if I'd teach him some etiquette. "You do know she only sounds posh, don't you? She's not actually posh," she told him. The harsh realities of life. (He still wants my advice, bless him.)

Just relocated my little snowball tree - Viburnum Opulus roseum - and it's had a baby. A grandplant. I'm delighted with the new arrival. (pic from google)

I'm one of those nerdy people who keeps paperwork, receipts etc. Car stuff in car file etc. So when I needed 2 new tyres and the man said, "Which?" I was able to flourish my receipt from June and say, "Two of them," instead of, "What, you mean there are different kinds?" which is my usual response.

@irenegarth1946.bsky.social I've had a dodgy DM from you and think you've been hacked.

It's extraordinary. They tried twice to kill Christa Pike. Then, when they failed to do so, they rushed her to hospital and had her put on a life-support system. Now they'll discuss whether or not to try to kill her again. Absolutely bizarre and inhumane.

Call me a rebel but (drum roll please, maestro) I'm going to put the heating on. I've informed Miss Hettie and she has signalled her approval by purring loudly.

Back into the swing with my new student. I'd forgotten just how much pleasure I derive from teaching.

Apart from her glamour, this is me.

Worth knowing!

From F/bk. You know it's true.

It's nearly 11am. I have phone calls to make and lesson prep to do. The lesson prep means moving the dolls' house from the table I need to work at and I don't know where to put it. So I'm lolling on my bed and having another cuppa. Peak procrastination.

We have been married 51 years today. I haven't mentioned it. Waiting to see how long it takes to dawn on Mr S.

Come for a bbq, says daughter. Then: Our bbq's broken; can we borrow yours? Ours hasn't been used since 2022. Mr Hoarder won't part with it. Grudgingly agrees to lend it. Then finds a crucial part rusted in position, unable to be shifted. D's gone to buy one. I want rid of ours even more now!

Need new bedlinen. Found something I like on J/Lewis website. Found the same produce £34 cheaper on the company's own website. Result.

Asked daughter #2 what the nearly-9 might like for her birthday. Got the reply that she'd like to do something with me, maybe go out for a day somewhere, rather than having a present. I'm rather delighted and flattered.

Staggering fact of the day: There is no minimum age for marriage in 32 US states. 32.

From F/bk

You know 'There's a Hole in my Bucket'? Where she tells him to fix it with straw? How do you fix a hole in a bucket with straw?

Morning, troops. Pleased to report that I'm now able to drink tea again - first time for a couple of months. A sure sign that I'm on the mend.