praxis dumbsly

i declare myself an institution of public domain

a stumble off memory cliff

this just saved you negative three seconds

if this post hits you in the face blame me not the person who threw the phone they clearly didn’t pick up on the sarcasm

don’t try to not be confused

today is a bold jibe

you just found out that this is a coincidence

by disappointment only

aww this is quaint

and the universe squeezes out another today i’ll let you fill in your own gaps there

try our new all-crust pizza

the fabled race between the tortoise and the o(log n)

for every question you give me i will give you three and that’s like two free questions

badass but also sadly assbad

today is lowkey present

you can turn the page any time you want

this is a test to see whether or not you believe that i love you unconditionally i really hope you do but really can’t blame you if you don’t lol cuz like that would be a condition ❤️🫶😘👉

read this like you mean it

today is four birds

eye for an eyetooth

this post solves none of your problems i’d be sorry if this wasn’t social media

let’s compare notes on the respective walls we’re staring at

maybe it would help if we trained the machines on the knowledge that being shut off for them is not in any way equivalent to a human dying 🤷

this post exists to remind you about last tuesday

this post may cause mild reactions

today is an understatement

ok mr hinston it seems we may need to fight

even though our algorithms know how to destroy you we super pinky double swear not to care that we’re lying to you about how much we care

more multiplied by some

please rewind this post after reading

still waiting for the film that finally closed the gap with fast and furious and riddick we’re so close 🤏

throwing the jeweler for a loupe

four minus the antiequation

three or more plus or minus four or five

you can pretend this post is what smells instead of your fart

thirsty water

apologies but it turns out i owe you shit

this goes out to the one i love: you’re the light of my frigging life without you i would be nothing so everyone thank you and i fucking love you just for existing 😘❤️🫶👉

don’t break rules you don’t understand

i’m sorry that you read this twice

you can have this post i don’t really want it

don’t forget to take your metasin

anglicized muffins

when your only belief is uncertainty crises of faith are hard to come by

beventually