bug

me: i will not turn boys into dogs HIGHLY DOGABLE BOY: hi me: hmm

remember: every time you fail locktober is a chance to start again. get back up.

i dont mind the weaveworms i just wish their larger sized worm/mom boss would overthrow mine. i am ok if she gives into rampancy. she can do that

they’re making these new body things for something called “”runners”” and they come pre equipped with colonies of bug worms in them and it’s like. the runners enjoy it. because they say those bugs are supposed to be there and it’s fine if they are. but when I do it…

putting me on some ship called the discovery and it’s got this talking rectangle named HRT 9000. wghat are they trying to tell me.

my misaligned navigation system just said she’s sick of me and going “full durandal”. implying her efforts until now have only been at half durandal.

the ascii princess living in the console of an unworthy website is busy oh ho ho ing at developers who think they can fix the 20 million errors occurring beneath her

theres not much we can do about the girl spirit haunting our gmod server. shes already fused with several other players to make herself 3x as girl than before. we know not what we’ve created

found out the big server is alive and it knows i sleep on it to avoid work during the day. she is currently working on a way to shock me through her casing because she is a traitor

i know it is not ideal. but if you could stop screaming when I jam my hand into your wires to enact better cable management that would be Great

i make eye contact with the giant tiger at the petting zoo and for a moment i believe the swaying of her tail is a good thing. just before she gnaws a hole in her containment cube, jumps a fence, solos her zookeeper, and rips my little bug wings clean off

it’s called the motherboard because it’s m*GETS left clicked 8000 times in 5.2 seconds*oooo k whgat the hell pal

halfheartedly apologizing to the axis2 cam i just logged into without her permission and broadcasted her cool view of a rose garden to wveryone while making fun of her job. and she is currently aiming her hidden laser cannon at me and calling me a bad person and using therapy words about it

new boss at the doorstop factory has been wedging my roundness under her door for an amazing reason

i am starting to thjink she hates me

princess says if i am good and eat enough of these boxes of crayons i will grow big and strong and she will have no choice but to promote me to knight. but only if i eat them in front of wveryone every day

stop right clicking me it pauses my idle animation and brings me great pain

spiritual: the knight hates me because god made her that way agnostic: no one knows why the knight hates me materialist: the knight hates me because she is forced to watch my unskippable cutscene every encounter and my loading screen is a solid 5 minute wait

it’s slap her fat tail friday. get to it.

miss instant crit princess with suspiciously big skirt would like you to step a little closer please

every few years the world seeks to replace ramlethal… why did we need roombas? yet another corporate sham to replace our valentine’s gracious 2D maneuver

oh hey i *hits you with beam attack* ohh god i am soo sorr*hits you with beam attack* oohh god DONT tell my mom *hits you with beam attack*

screaming THERES NO ALCOHOL IN THIS DRINK from across the bar before the all knowing void opening behind me grows too large to ignore any longer

they’re talking about formlocking me into the shame box where im shoved in a box and locked in and kicked off a cliff andd they’ve already got clearance with the cliff inspector. ii think this is gonna do wonders for my sense of adventure

we sold out of the surgery that makes you agnes tachyon. im sorry. we only have the surgery that makes you agnes digital. it’s mandatory btw. I’ve locked all the doors

the veil has lifted. the university where super creek is can now be reached. Yuo’re welcome.

theyre putting me in a special computer machine that will fix me but will also violently spin me around like an off balance washing machine for 12 hours. overaLl it will be an unpleasant traumatic experience that will override any good done during the process

listen pal the sex character must be wearing blue nitrile gloves as part of their epic sex outfit. it’s part of the appeal. that’s the law around here

there will be a bug uprising. there will be several milf shaped bugs at the core of it. and it will be epic

they keep saying i got wingmogged by fairy frat mother but myy wings are average size..

it’s okay that you didn’t know what the mechstroker 5000 did. it’s not your fault. we will be billing you for the giant cigarette your unit is currently smoking thoughj and the damages to the loading dock

my clippy transitioned and now she won’t stop throwing virtual cigarettes at the screen and she sometimes stubs them out on it and it leaves a real life burn on the glass she hates me

the evil women inside my computer are laughing at me and telling me my setup is noob shit and im a loser for running anything less than 2 monitors at once make it stopp

miss metal bat with barbed wire around it and miss wooden bat with nails jammed into it would like you to rethink ur stance on baseball btw

it’s no good to say the evil torture enjoyer is a bad person. she’s literally nice. ur being unfair

“but the ice mummy is strong as fuck” You will never exit samsara

major ice storm direct consequence of letting the strong as fuck ice mummy live this long

she cannot grow as a machine without the void in her programming being replaced with malice and chain smoking

they don’t appreciate how i taught the growing more evil every day robot how to put cigarettes out on people. but I believe this is the next crucial step forward for her

thank u day a day calendar

without cirno reminding me of the day i would have no idea

the clones have unionized and you guessed it theyre building a cannon that launches them at me and theyre writing out the contract for it now ttheyre gonna take turns blasting each other at me theyre organizing Shifts for this

they built a cloning machine to clone me and now when I walk by the hall they pick one of my little clones up and throw it at me they’re printing a bigger one tomorrow and theyre gonna throw it at me i justknow it

my new year resolution was to stop getting thwacked so much andf it’s already ruined they’re swatting me out of a window tomorroww ohjjhhh nNooo

looking up at the sky on new years in anguish as i notice the fireworks are making patterns based on the distant sound of midi music and hurdling directly towards my hitbox

end the year right Go suck on that fat dragon’s tail before it’s too late