Eric Winer

Republicans? Yes. And have you ever noticed… they have the worst breath imaginable? Like, other-worldly awful? Seemingly biologically (and chemically) not even possible? Yet there it is alright. A dense, unrelenting fog of apocalyptic Armageddon. Woof!

Given that being an evil genius might make one a super villain, I’m now thinking there’s an upside to my lot in life as a semi-virtuous dimwit.

Dunno. But clearly both ain’t kosher.

Based on empirical and anecdotal research, my most popular posts seem to be short n' unsweetly mean. So have a nice f’n day ya ratbastards! Too long? As they say on St. Patty’s Day, “Pogue Mahone.” With all due respect and in the nicest way possible, of course.

Cornered In The Oval Office. Nothing like being bullied and bullshitted by the dumbest guy in the room and his brown-nosing, douchebag, soulless lackey.

The TESLA dealership/service center in my hood is 2 miles north of our Holocaust Center Museum. WTANF?

There is mob rule. And there is being ruled by ‘The Mob.’ We got both.

THIS JUST IN: Canada has renamed The Detroit River ‘The Gulf Of Tim Hortons.’

“And on the 1st, 2nd, 3rd, 4th, 5th, 6th, and 7th day - God rested… and played golf… having three of those well-grilled kosher dogs with all the trimmings at every turn.”

Say what you will about Elon; he was totally ‘Steppin’ Out’ on his 1982 ‘Night and Day’ album!

Throwing Shade And Then Some: Definitely shifting to egg beaters when letting those at the mic know what I think about their divisive shit. Politics aside, I will not be priced out of the right to be an immature dick.

GREAT WHITE NORTH TARIFF WAR? Great. Now the price of ginger ale, malt vinegar, and CCM's are gonna go higher than the nosebleed seats where you can't even see if the lamp's lit, eh?

Trump has signaled that if he can’t get rid of The Dept. Of Education completely, he’ll at least change its name to ‘The Gulf Of DeVos.’

Michigan U.S. Senator Gary Peters is retiring after his term expires. A relatively good Senator, but (from personal experience at polite society soirees) a relatively lousy parlor game player. Dude couldn't 'Name That Tune' to save his constituents' lives!

Guaranteed Super Bowl Odds: Me minus money.

Captain Fantastic & The Brown Nose Cowboy?

Hey, did Tom Brady ever play football?

The Washington Nationals just announced that they were told for Opening Day, Elon Musk’s gonna throw out the first ‘Heil!’

They should allow hockey fights in politics. Oh, my-bad; they do (See Jan. 6 and the waived minor penalty-box visits).

Rumor is that Trump’s also gonna pardon anyone who beat Bobby Flay.

Forget the Gulf of Mexico, Trump wants to change the name of the sun to 'That thing that revolves around me!'

People are people, so why should it be you and I have to get along with a President who’s such a huge f’n racist, homophobic, misogynist, Nazi, asshole?

ESPN: “The $27 sandwich that is taking The Australian Open by storm” And we thought eggs were expensive here!

I woulda gone with: The Gulf Of Texas-Louisiana-Mississippi-Alabama-And F'n Florida The Gulf Of Pumpkin Spice Lattes (Seasonal) The Gulf Of Racist Redneck Rat-Bastards The Gulf Of Sweet Tea N' Sweet Revenge The Gulf Of Golf Resorts For Trickle-Down Douche-Bags And That's A Big F'n Water Hazard!

Sure, but nobody pardoned the 1500 farts Trump incited during yesterday’s inauguration. @funnyordie.com @comedycentral.bsky.social

Small victory; at least he’s not sporting a ‘guggenschlahzen (Hitler moustache)?

Not one of Trump’s cabinet nominees has the IQ of an actual cabinet. What do you mean ‘Laminate or wood?’

Considering a Lions’ Super Bowl shiva Feb. 10th. We’ll have the standard trays but let us know what else you’d like to bring.

Trump’s asshole: “You think I’m an asshole? You should see the asshole that I’m an asshole for. And yeah, I ended the sentence with a preposition. What are you gonna do about it, asshole?’

‘We All Got Fooled Again’ (apologies to Pete Townsend) www.facebook.com/eric.winer.1...

Who Turned Out The.Lights? That’s Funny, My Scruples Were Here A Minute Ago Fish & Chips Wrap My-Ass; In ‘Merica We Call ‘Em French Fries No ‘Connections’ But Bringing Back ‘Dilbert’ Also Honors Requests For ‘Whipping’ Post Recipe Section’s Pro-GMO New & Improved Op-Eds: Now With Kompromat!

Forget what it says about us, which will last longer: The United States, Trump's presidency, or Tim Allen's new sitcom?

Is there Taco Tuesday after democracy?

Inauguration aside, the FDA has banned Red Dye #2, leaving intact Trump’s base… of Orange Dye #2 and Bisquick.

Forget the pros and cons of Bidenomics; the standard models of Macro and Micro have been obliterated by MAGro.

‘Carrie Underwood’ seems like it would be a euphemism for something less than complimentary.

Michelle Obama’s office did not explain her plan to skip Trump’s inauguration; they pantomimed it with one finger.

Isn’t ‘Retirement Workshop’ an oxymoron?

Cool. Trying not to get too far into the legal weeds, but I’m also starting a new site that looks at both sides of testing the political waters called ‘The Riparian.’ @mollymcnearney.bsky.social @opus.bsky.social @sadmonsters.bsky.social @joshgondelman.bsky.social @danamira.bsky.social

Cool. Trying not to get too far into the legal weeds, but I’m also starting a new site that looks at both sides of testing the political waters called ‘The Riparian.’

Wondering what the Over/Under is on how many new felonies Trump will commit before pitchers and catchers report to Spring Training?

Tough call what to use for my colonoscopy prep.

Starbucks just added a new 'spicy falafel pocket' to its menu. Begging the age-old question: 'Is that a falafel in your pocket or are you just glad to see me have hummus?'

I’ve already broken my New Year’s resolution: ‘Remembering why I walked in this room.’

Never voted for Carter but rooted for him because he always rooted for us. A good man isn’t right every time. He just tries to be.

Eight crazy nights? ‘The Snoop On The Stoop’s’ lit year round baby.

Think my Hanukkah socks are awesome, you should see my bundies!

Which makes even less sense given that he may have fathered 27% of them.

Yeah, kinda thought the party was over about 10 years ago but maybe that’s just ‘cause I watch way too much MSNBC. Then again, you know what they say: ‘When one party closes, a new fascist one opens!’

Trump's suing an Iowa pollster for misleading numbers? Cool. I'm gonna sue Vegas for misleading odds on every football game I've ever bet and won! Wait.. what?