Evil Cylon

I kept expecting him to say "Stwike him, centuwion, very wuffwy!"

This is why I've been getting up at 5am to go cycling before the sun comes up because that's the only time the temperature is below 80⁰ fucking heat dome.

Just popping on to say this:

It's hotter here than it is in Phoenix. Phoenix was named after something that literally dies in fucking fire.

I didn't have "The crew of the Enterprise turned into puppets" on my bingo card, but sure enough that's exactly what I'm watching right now.

I feel influenced by this statement.

Shredger?

I'm honestly not sure how I should take this.

I got my yearly Tism shot, yay.

Okay @iramona.bsky.social what are your thoughts on adding Elon Musk to the Silo story. I know he's not in the books.

Well that's a disappointing lunar eclipse. Stupid tropical storm sending clouds up here, it's completely blocked AND it feels like Florida outside. I hate Florida.

I often get unsolicited emails from random factory reps who are trying to get me to look at the latest weird thing they are producing and they want my company to buy and brand, and sometimes I see something... I don't know, but it's some thing.

Long ago I reimagined Tim Curry as a Bollywood star, and named him Tim Vindaloo. I'm very sad today, so I'm making dumb jokes to cheer myself up.

Rest in Peace, Tim Vindaloo.

I hate 2026 so much. Rest in peace, Dolly.

This guy literally responds to any post on Nextdoor about the air or atmosphere with "HARP" (HAARP) or "chemtrails".

Me two months ago: the buyer should probably buy 6 months of supply now. Memory and storage prices are skyrocketing. The next order will probably cost them 20% more. Me on Friday: Okay so the price predictably went up 20% Sales rep: WHAT WHAT WHAT WE CAN'T DO THAT

This is Captain Butthole. Captain Butthole is an invasive pin-tailed whydah. Captain Butthole attacks any birds that go near HIS bird feeder, and is of a species of brood parasites. Captain Butthole is a flying butthole, and I'm hoping that Lieutenant Cooper's Hawk comes and visits.

This is Eddie Lizard, a Western Fence Lizard (a bitty baby one). Eddie snuck into our warehouse but I caught him before he could get stepped on or run over by a forklift. Eddie is now living in front of the office amongst the shrubs, living The Good Lizard Life.

Getting exercise by biking gets me a lot of cheerful encouragement from men driving by in pickup trucks such as "(something something something) PETTING ZOO AAAAAAAAHAHAHA".

Like half of the "reports" were from people reporting this guy's vacation photos as spam.

Fun quotes from Lauren Boebert: "What an adult chooses to do in their lives, that's fine. Just leave our children out of it." "the sexualization of our children"

@doubtisthewayout.bsky.social I've found these beans for your approval.

UPS sounds so ominous. "We have your package."

Oh it's almost 1am. Of course that's when I decide to be active on social media.

Canadians: I want to go to Canada next winter. I need a local that's posh, has good food and shopping in all price ranges, and (the most important) has good skiing. Already looking at Whistler, but where else?

*Dies from cuteness aggression*

If course the one interaction I get is a fake Palestinian bot.

I love northern OC. "Omg I saw a Hispanic on a bike he must be up to no good". Or he's... You know, riding a bike? Yorba Linda 🙄 incidentally that's where Richard Nixon was born.

Neighbors were probably creeped out by the weird lady taking pictures of their front wall at 10pm, BUT a cute gecko ran/wiggled across my path and I had to take a picture.

House finches are assholes.

Hey @mattgaetz4head.bsky.social I was looking on your timeline fore a Tinyface Chuck Kirk statue, and I didn't see one.

Not being discussed: the expiration of Trump's section 122 tariffs on 7/23 and what he's going to do about it.

Presented without commentary

No reason, just a cat that thinks he's hiding.

Why I live in SoCal, despite the insane cost of living: Today the wind shifted to blowing east, so the heat wave ended abruptly with cool Pacific air.

I can confirm, after spending a few hours paddleboarding, that Sephardic Jews suck at tanning every bit as much as Ashkenazi Jews. Your move, Mizrahim. I have the lamest looking sunburn.

Now summer has legit started, when you see the cumulonimbus over the SBO and SG mountains, but you can't tell if they're normal clouds or pyrocumulonimbus from the start of Fire Season.

So I guess you Texans now have to prove your age, or use a VPN, whatever.

Holy crap, are MAGA really this gullible that they would click the link thinking they would get a $5,000 check? I'm just kidding, I already know the answer.

I'm sure that this post on Nextdoor will result in a very polite and friendly conv- oh Jesus

I spoke to Mitch today! It didn’t go well!

I spoke to Mitch McConnell for about 20 minutes this morning.

My neighbors are so kind and respectful.