Steve

Hey if you’re in Chicago come see me tomorrow at Pretty Good Fest. I’ll have comics and prints and an all new zine about Frankenstein

NYC/LA people have decided that every movie screening needs to be filled up with squads of people who laugh at "inappropriate" times and that the primary subject of any film review needs to be these inappropriate laughers rather than the stuff happening on the screen. Sounds weird but they like it

Support group for Frankensteins

Win Bram Stoker's Dracula

Agent codename(DOWNSTAIRSNEIGHBOR): So that's it? I just cough loudly outside the target's apartment several times per day? Gangstalking supervisor: Yeah that's it, we'll give that a shot for about, 18 months,

In 2017, Jia Tolentino lifted a series of restrictions on her life.

Grills are the vibe of the outdoor patio

Tommy Digger, stand up, Tommy Digger / where have you been all of my life?

www.patreon.com/yourkickstar...

Unveiling my new character Noah Baumbach Superfan Who's Never Heard of Kicking and Screaming

Dogs that mouth the toads can become temporarily paralyzed and sometimes die if not treated immediately.

My television desperately wants me to "verify it's me." What the fuck are you talking about

Making my pills more effective by rubbing them on $100 bills before I take them

Wife mad about “Zendaya” mispronunciation

Judge called me over to the couch after my trial

What are some bugs you can get that eat those bugs you put in to take care of head lice

Misremembering how old I am and making eye contact with every 60yo guy at the show trying to remember if I knew them in college

My lettuce parasites caught diarrhea from me

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Had a dream where someone asked me about Terms of Endearment and I was explaining that it's actually about side characters from a previous McMurtry novel called Moving On but the movie version of Terms basically uses the physical character descriptions from the main characters of Moving On

It must feel so sick to be a spider just sitting motionless at the center of your web and blowing back and forth with the breeze

Clipping a tiny lav mic to my foreskin

amazing call from extranapkins

Weird I guess I'm the only person in the entire universe who noticed Callum Turner looks like the Deliverance kid

Trying to figure out if this trail of poops is leading to the toilet or away from the toilet

(noticing how closely the word "orange" resembles the word "aren't") There's gotta be a way to turn this into a joke

Manifesting the groceries I'm going to buy at the store

My AI has escaped containment…. It’s taken over the flower-wearing-sunglasses-and-holding-a-small-plastic-guitar statue I keep on my desk and is causing it to dance maliciously to the beat of Bachmann-Turner Overdrive’s “Takin' Care of Business”

Embarrassing

The thing about TSA is that it’s stupid and bad but also the people doing it are extremely stupid and bad at their job

Today’s teens have started performing their dreaded Teen Takeovers in the Under Armour aisle at Dick’s Sporting Goods, preventing many healthy middle aged men from having safe access to shirts of sufficient breathability and bicep room

Ordering off the secret menu at the barbershop to get my haircut "animal style"

Is there no one in Game of Thrones Land doing any scientific inquiries at all? You'd think someone over there would have invented the internal combustion engine by now

If I was The Cyclops I'd be like Hey, you know, I'm also 40 feet tall

One cool thing about driving a car is that when you bust off huge pieces of your car due to crashing into objects due to not looking out of your windshield, you can just leave the huge busted off car pieces wherever, just leave them on the side of the street or blocking the sidewalk, it's fine

Hey if you're in Chicago come see me at the Trashland Zine Fest on Sunday at the Empty Bottle, 11am-4pm

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Got some wonderful art from @extranapkins.bsky.social

The Taylor Swift / football guy wedding is so romantic. Sources close to the real couple are reporting that they've even written their own NDAs, to be exchanged during the ceremony

nyc friends be careful outside today. its even worse than yesterday, the 2019 film about a man who remembers the beatles

The heat dome fucked up when it tried to heat up my ass

Getting Matthew Modine pilled (cooking down Matthew Modine’s body and consuming the solid by-products)

Finally… Christianity for people who don’t like to read

Watching the news and apparently all employees of a local Dominos have been sentenced to death for how bad they are at cutting the pizzas. It seems they were just mushing the cutters into the pizzas and not actually cutting them all the way through and now they all have to get lethal injection

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Purchasing Yoda from an old man in Chinatown

“Too shabby!!! Too shabby!!!!!” - me when something is too shabby