fête of the furious

if I was rude to you on twitter I have granted myself clemency. thank you

we asked our 3 year old what we should name the bunny that hangs out in our yard, and he suggested “castaways on heron island”. ok.

jair bolsonaro has retreated to his hospital lair

john lee sex worker

Check this shit out motherfucker [I call an election 2 years early and immediately annihilate my majority government, its not clear what kind of move I was trying to do]

what they don’t tell you about marriage and fatherhood is the possibility that the rest of your family will like oatmeal, and want to eat it regularly

everyone’s gangster until somehow, palpatine returned

we are the sons of the gamers you couldn’t shadow ban

levelling up in an action RPG: allocate these points to “vitality” to get 0.8% more resistance against ranged attacks levelling up in a metroidvania: you can fly now

did you all realize the dancing guy from mighty mighty bosstones is named ben carr

I’m a median rural voter. my single issue is that I never want my RM to build new housing under any circumstance. and I’m willing to elect the dumbest asshole who promises my town will be preserved in amber forever

fools. without israel, who would develop one million apps that let cops spy on you

I’ve recently seen several instagram stories using therapy speak to explain why the poster likes raves

all you can do is make your argument, send troops to polling stations, raid the homes of political opponents, make it as difficult as possible for people to vote, sue states purge their voter registries with no notice…

soy cuba implies the existence of chad cuba

they’re gonna have to figure out how to market that narnia movie better than that

GOTTEM

chuck schumer is gonna call him TACO over this and goad him into more live executions on paramount plus

they should not have let diablo cody in juno get away with that “it ended with a chair” fake symmetry bullshit. no it didn’t! there was a chair in the room! nobody was even in it!

the passion of the christ the passion of the christ hi-ho the derry-o the passion of the christ

you gotta know your limit with a boombox

as the father of a 3 year old I sometimes just have to accept taking a people’s elbow to the mouth at 8:30 am

kelly clarkson is coming down with a mild case of jk rowling disease

am I crazy or was that broden from aunty donna at the beginning of resident evil? the doctor who takes the original package and takes off

just saw a video of barenaked ladies beatboxing and choreographed dancing while rap-singing hot to go at a live show. this video confirmed all my feelings about barenaked ladies SORRY GEN X, ANOTHER ONE IN THE L COLUMN

hey guys, it’s paige from giggly squad. poppi’s changing soda for the better,

just got a helpful tip from a construction worker on my walk home to try and avoid being run over by a steam roller. will do!

rapist rights advocate michael tracey

op-ed sheeran. is that anything

nailing my 95 pro-AI theses to the church door and they’re all just variations of “It’s not about intelligence — it’s about progress” with the words slightly rearranged

you guys can hear what the arkells sound like right?

I love and miss the united states. but they’re doing rico prosecution against people who posted that fascism is bad

ryan thorpe (ex winnipeg free press) works for this guy

delighted to learn that this was gus watanabe, a dumbass we used to clown on back on twitter

any way to find out if ted cruz mentioning javert from les mis was a kalshi manipulation