fionapatton.bsky.social

Just wanted to let some of you know, I'm NOT the former Senator, just in case 😏

Reminded today that my life was once saved by a casual acquaintance in Croydon back in 1977 who told the Magda Szubanski lookalike girlfriend of a local skinhead Nugget who'd taken a fancy to me 😳 that I might look unimpressive but was the "best fighter" lol in Beaumaris & she'd be mad to take me on

Rather liking the accidental reflections in the back yard, may have to incorporate more deliberate water features in my landscaping ideas 🤔 And perhaps larger than the pond I'd originally started preparing for.

Heard noises behind my head .. Ew. Just no. And yes I'm having a lie-in 😇

That they started from scratch or inherited?

Rubbing my sore newly healed wrist and wondering what the hand therapist from the fracture clinic would say about the advisability of lifting a large squirming Staffy pup over a gate 3 times 😵‍💫

Going to channel my feelings and watch the end of Mobland. I know Maeve isn't meant to be a sympathetic character but geez sometimes I can relate... 😈

I suppose seeing as I already put a fkn bra on to go to the shops and a thunderstorm is coming in half an hour I might as well go for a short walk while I can 😏

Right you lot stop being engaging and amusing I need to get to the shops!

The view from my open bedroom door, taking advantage of the cool day and the scent of the Cecile Brunner roses. I wish the hedge was also soundproof but you can't have everything 🤷

A memory surfaced today, one that I've carried inside for abt 45 years. And suddenly, viewing it from the financial safety of my later yrs I see the whole episode clearly & no longer feel shame over what was a trauma response to poverty, & not me being irresponsible as my boss had angrily accused.

Sudden downpour put the bonfire out and soaked the party guests down the road. Awww. What a shame 😉

With my recovering wrist it's taken me 2 hrs to clear a spot to at least plant something I bought just before Dad died at the end of May. The blackbirds are pissed off cos this is THEIR time in the garden. I can hear them saying wtf is she doing, she's dug up DOZENS of fat worms & hasn't eaten ONE?!

My tinnitus just went from crashing surf to tuning fork for no apparent reason. I hadn't even noticed the surf was so loud until it stopped and now the sound of my ceiling fan is really annoying 😒

I want my garden to be a haven but occasionally my maintenance of it causes much perturbation in the locals 🫤 Sorry fellas!

Saw a worrying number of Euro wasps as I was finally trimming low branches from my fruit trees (don't think the OT at the hand clinic would be too pleased but that's another story 🤷).. How does one go about tracking them to their nest, as it must be pretty close. Got too dim to see where they went.

Anyone else's predictive text having a stroke or a psychotic episode? You're just making shit up mate, that's not a fucking word 🤬

If you've ever worried about pruning a rose too hard, take a look at this guy. Planted by my old neighbour just inside my boundary, it got slashed by the fencer, & thinking it was a tiny blackberry shoot I mowed it at least 4 x before recognising it as a rose. 12 years later it's about 9ft tall!

Sure, put the flu shot in this arm, it's already sore anyway... Woke this morning to my left arm saying you thought that was sore, I'll show you SORE! And the pharmacist had been SO gentle! At least it's done now because I could finally drive yesterday. Not today 😩

I'm predicting a lovely obituary will be written for me one day: Fiona died doing what she loved .. TRIPPING OVER THE FUCKING HOSE 😒

Daughter had me on speaker as she arrived home & flopped on her couch. I heard her cat meow as he jumped up, & said awww.. what's up with the baby boy? She said OMG & started laughing, she'd forgotten I was on the phone & thought my initial "awww.." was her stomach making a weird noise 🤦 Apple/tree

A lot of you seemed to like the pic of my friend's gorgeous speckledy calf the other day, so here's a bonus... Cousins? Half siblings? Anyway, enjoy 😜

Woke abt midnight & read a post from one of you about needing to talk about Slow Horses. I didn't even take a second to like the post I was so eager...I have now binged the 6 available episodes & have had abt 3 hours sleep & no amount of scrolling has found that post again 😏 MAKE YOURSELF KNOWN 🙏😁

I've always thought it was an apple box, placed in the open boot of my car in full view of CCTV. But then I'd expect to blow up shortly afterwards 😏🤔

What can we re-name the currently lacking term "domestic" violence to more accurately describe the serious threat? Hidden violence, sneaky violence, cowardly, shameful bully violence? Pathetic arsehole (non-gendered, inclusive) seeking control in place of controlling own entitled emotions violence?

Who would have thought this prick would ever come in handy for anything?? #handtherapy #squeezethatbastard

Norwegian Formula...stat! OMG the skin flakes 😱

RT if you've never had a tab of ChatGPT open, full stop.

This did make me chortle 😂

Kooyong is not as fkn stupid as Goldstein 😒

Beds are made, floors are clean, dinner's cooked, dishes are done, bins are out, washing's put away, lawns are .. oh. Bloody Spring 🌱🌱🌱😂 JK I love it 🤩

I mean...does this bathroom look Goth to *anyone?? And please take special care to note the sparkling clear 12yo shower screen, because it was because of the success I had with the new cloth that got me up the effing stepladder to clean the kitchen window only to then fall and break my wrist 😏😒😉

Just to be precise: First tune is a nursery rhyme, plays 3 times for different degrees of *soft boiled egg Second tune is a folksong I think, for *medium, again varying degrees Third is the Dutch national anthem, for *HARD boiled 😁

Sobering thought 😕

Hahaha, a coffee, listening to heavy rain, and watching the latest episode of Mobland in the wee hours and I've slept like a baby for 5 hours since 😂🤷