Flum

Flum

@flumcake.bsky.social

I had talent in a previous life.

204 followers180 following5K posts

Flum
@flumcake.bsky.social

You can buy a pair of tights with belt loops, perfect if you want to look like you forgot to wear a skirt but have decided to try and style it out anyway and hope no one notices.

Flum
@flumcake.bsky.social

I fractured my rib the natural way by slipping on black ice and landing right on my side. It is the most painful thing I’ve ever experienced, and I continued to experience same for the next few months as all you can do for it is take ibuprofen, which doesn’t do much. In short, would not recommend.

Flum
@flumcake.bsky.social

Ordered room service, so now spending my evening standing right next to the door, occasionally peeking out of the spy hole as I’m so paranoid that I won’t hear the knock and will miss out on my overpriced dinner.

Flum
@flumcake.bsky.social

It arrived! And I made sure to leave a bit of a pause before answering so they didn’t think I was a door hanging weirdo!

Flum
@flumcake.bsky.social

The second worst thing about using a company card is remembering to get a receipt. The worst thing about using a company card is remembering to get a receipt but forgetting to actually use the card.

Flum
@flumcake.bsky.social

This evening I once again returned to the restaurant with the most terrifying bathroom decor, ensuring your toilet experience includes a jump scare, which isn’t ideal.

Flum
@flumcake.bsky.social

The Guardian is using this image to illustrate their story concerned about the rising number of crimes that are linked to cocaine usage, and I’m not convinced that "losing your heels" is as societal damaging as they seem to think it is.

Flum
@flumcake.bsky.social

I couldn’t get my usual Amsterdam hotel and, because availability was pretty limited, I have ended up in a sports themed one, which is very much not my vibe. I did ask if they had a netball room, but they just looked at me blankly.

Flum
@flumcake.bsky.social

I assume there’s some sort of ComicCon event on in London this weekend as otherwise there was a surprisingly high number of people on the DLR dressed as miscellaneous Sailor Moon characters.

Flum
@flumcake.bsky.social

(And given how windy it is today, it’s not exactly ideal weather to be wearing a Sailor Moon skirt either, so I admire their dedication.)

Flum
@flumcake.bsky.social

Regardless of whether they think she is guilty or innocent, no-one should be voting for Joanne McNally because her outfit for today is _so_ amazing. These things are important! #TheTraitors #CelebrityTraitors

Flum
@flumcake.bsky.social

As we’re about a week away from Halloween, here is your reminder to watch Ginger Snaps, a werewolf/coming of age film about a girl whose onset of lycanthropy coincides with her first period because, y’know, metaphors. It is amazing and you will not regret it.

Flum
@flumcake.bsky.social

Storm Austen has hit and it is very rainy, windy, and generally miserable out there, so thoughts and prayers for anyone who has to do hockey in PE for their first lesson today as, if my school was anything to go by, they will not be cancelling it or bringing it indoors.

Flum
@flumcake.bsky.social

Regardless of whether it’s a good idea or not, Lovehoney are still going to be selling wicker dildos before the year is out.

Vulture@vulture.com

‘Wicker’ stars Alexander Skarsgård as a man made entirely of wicker, complete with a rock-hard wicker dick. But what about splinters? Bacteria? Degradation? Would it be advisable, from a sexual-health perspective, to mount a basket dick? We asked a gynecologist: vulture.visitlink.me/DNQwX5

Flum
@flumcake.bsky.social

My favourite thing about the round tables on Celebrity Traitors is watching Claudia get her steps in. #TheTraitors #CelebrityTraitors

Flum
@flumcake.bsky.social

GIG UPDATE: Arlo Parks. Up close and personal, which meant the blissed out beats were as in your face as it’s possible to be without being Arlo herself, and there’s nothing more blissful than that.

Flum
@flumcake.bsky.social

This was at the new Apple Music Hall, which is, depending on your position on multinational corporations getting involved in the creative arts, either surprisingly or unsurprisingly a really good venue!

Flum
@flumcake.bsky.social

Finally watching series 4 of Taskmaster New Zealand and I’m excited to see Melanie Bracewell representing netball with her task outfit. I’m sure she’ll do the uniform proud!

Flum
@flumcake.bsky.social

GIG UPDATE: Lime Garden. It’s always exciting when you see a band you’ve always known are going to be massive at the exact moment they’re about to go massive and Lime Garden are about to go MASSIVE. This _is_ a love song and I love their wonky pop hearts.

Flum
@flumcake.bsky.social

The “Way Out” sign at Brixton tube is broken and was flashing intermittently in a very random and eldritch fashion, which was giving me big Exit 8 vibes as I left the station.

Flum
@flumcake.bsky.social

(The “L” in the “Electric Avenue” sign was also gubbed, which feels like it should offer up an easy joke, but yet here we are.)

Flum
@flumcake.bsky.social

Bold of Netflix to suggest a film that’s leaving soon as a movie you can watch again and again… (And it’s equally bold of Netflix to think Mean Girls isn’t already a movie that I watch again and again and, indeed, again)

Flum
@flumcake.bsky.social

Dreamt that someone had invented a pair of tights that looked exactly like Emu’s (of “Rod Hull and” fame) legs. They were surprisingly popular, despite the fact their only use case would be pairing them with a sparkly blue tasseled skirt/dress so you could go as Emu for Halloween.

Flum
@flumcake.bsky.social

Today I also learned that it is surprisingly difficult to find a decent photo of Emu’s legs, perhaps explaining why these tights don’t exist in real life, what with any potential designers struggling to find a reference image.

Flum
@flumcake.bsky.social

GIG UPDATE. Hyd. Artpop in its truest sense, all dark and feminine and full of secrets. I love her so much and one day the world will catch up with her genius, at which point she’ll have already left them far behind.

Flum
@flumcake.bsky.social

(As it was in the round, I did spend most of the gig looking at the back of her dress, but as the back of her dress was a more interesting design than the front of her dress, that was fine!)

Flum
@flumcake.bsky.social

Tonight’s gig is in the round, which means I am guaranteed to stand in exactly the worst place, no matter where I stand.

Flum
@flumcake.bsky.social

Just seen a guy walking past wearing sliders and no socks and I feel obliged to point out that it is _freezing_ and clearly he has no regard for the ongoing existence of his toes.

Flum
@flumcake.bsky.social

I look forward to Primark’s equivalent of the Victoria’s Secret show, where Rita Ora walks down the catwalk wearing their very own fantasy bra, valued at almost £50 and featuring up to 40 rhinestones.

Flum
@flumcake.bsky.social

“You insult me, the local audio guy, on the day of my daughter’s wedding?”

fesshole 🧻@fesshole.bsky.social

A band insulted me, the local audio guy, all day, literally threw stuff at me. Promoter was just absent. I may or may not have put a pitch shifter on the singers in ear monitoring. People walked out, demanded refunds at the door because it was so bad.

Flum
@flumcake.bsky.social

If Victoria’s Secret ever achieve this goal then when you go for a fitting you’ll be measured for both your bra size and your wingspan.

Flum@flumcake.bsky.social

The long term goal of Victoria’s Secret is to convince the world that angel wings are part of the standard lingerie set.

Flum
@flumcake.bsky.social

The long term goal of Victoria’s Secret is to convince the world that angel wings are part of the standard lingerie set.