George Bass

My book What the Bouncer Saw is out today. Thanks to @estherbintliff.bsky.social and @stephenkb.bsky.social for inspiration, and to @littlebrown.bsky.social for making it happen. Hope anyone who buys it likes it, rodents included. www.hachette.co.uk/titles/georg...

That’s jumpy as in ‘about to rob something’, not jumpy as in ‘general social anxiety’.

Shop robberies are up 91%. People like me are expected to stop them. I wrote this for @theguardian.com about thieving, suspected stab wounds, and working on the sharp end of inflation: www.theguardian.com/business/202...

At work and just heard that the BBC is ditching World Tonight and You & Yours. Seems harsh: was lucky enough to get invited on WT to talk about drowning in energy bills. I know there’s a podcast for everything but I’ve never found a decent one about personal finance. www.ft.com/content/af63...

Very kind of @kobobooks.bsky.social to list What the Bouncer Saw as one of their new and hot biographies. Somehow I’m up the front with heavyweights like the moreish crack adventures of @thatmattkingfella.bsky.social. I wonder what we’ve got in common … www.kobo.com/ie/en/list/n...

For anyone who likes their interviews broadcast old-school style: I’m on BBC Radio 4 tonight at 8pm talking to @michaelrosenyes.bsky.social about violent jobs, secret codes and how I’d chuck Michael out of a nightclub. No national treasures were harmed in the making of this programme.

About to jet off on holiday and worried you may need more precautions than just sun screen and a voltage adapter? I wrote about first aid on the move for @nytimes.com based on 20 years of responding to injuries: www.nytimes.com/2026/09/25/t...

My chat with @michaelrosenyes.bsky.social is now available on BBC Sounds. My free gift was this evidence bag when BBC security impounded my work torch (offer sadly unavailable if you buy my book): www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/...

Ever been on a train or a tube platform and heard a call for Mr Sands over the PA system? To find out what it means, tune into BBC Radio 4 at 3:30 to hear me being interviewed by @michaelrosenyes.bsky.social. We get to talk about codes and keeping people safe: www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m...

Was a real treat recording this. My verbal jiu-jitsu skills were lost on the BBC door team who confiscated my work torch before they let me in. No hard feelings: job well done.

Got my first AI write-up: ‘A gripping tale of intrigue set in the world of nightlife, where secrets lurk in the shadows & danger is always a heartbeat away. Follow the story of a bouncer who witnesses more than he bargained for …’ Think they mean the bit where I’m crawling through a loft in my pants

At work today but yesterday I got to go to the BBC and talk to @michaelrosenyes.bsky.social. What a gent. You can hear us chat about dance floors, walkie-talkies and picking up people who’ve had too much dizzy water on 24th September at 3:30pm. Or anytime afterwards on BBC Sounds.

Finished the new @irvinewelsh.bsky.social which looks at mass shootings and dance tunes. Glad my security job is in the UK and not the States. But next time I’m on shift and there’s a DJ battle, anyone trying to sneak in a dodgy white box and pass it off as a bass bin is getting taken to the floor.

What the Bouncer Saw is still being listed as new by @littlebrown.bsky.social - very honoured. And big thanks to whoever ranked it as one of the best books to feature shoes on @thestorygraph.com. To any fetishists who’ve bought a copy expecting foot porn: sorry for all the descriptions of work boots

Looking forward to talking with @michaelrosenyes.bsky.social on BBC Radio 4’s Word of Mouth about walkie-talkies and trying to stop drunk people punching you/each other/wheelie bins: www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m...

@mrjamesob.bsky.social Remember in 2014 when Nigel explained that MEPs have auditors to make sure they spend money ‘in accordance with the rules’? I think he lost their number.

Happy Bank Holiday to anyone not at work and thanks @theguardian.com for making my book a featured memoir, and for putting me near to Roland Orzabal of Tears for Fears. There are enough dictator biographies around us to prove that everybody actually does want to rule the world. shorturl.at/wSvls

Last shift completed, unfortunately it was the “sorry you can’t cut through here any more” fortunately had read @georgebas5.bsky.social ‘s excellent bible on dealing with hungover grumps :) Absolutely cracking year

Found in @mrbsemporium.bsky.social a day ahead of publication. Grabbed it faster than some of the thieves I run after in the job. If I was rude I’d make a joke about @irvinewelsh.bsky.social and premature release but I’m classy so I won’t.

Very honoured to have been made book of the week on @talksport.com. Putting this down to the explanation in chapter 15 of ten pint bowling, a game where one hungry rugby player decides to run towards a kebab van queue.

Want to look at the moon before tomorrow’s big eclipse? I’ll be on @talksport.com after 1am tonight talking about What the Bouncer Saw. Will be weird to be interviewed an hour before I’m normally up for my shift. Fingers crossed I don’t have jet lag.

Amazon are offering the hardback of What the Bouncer Saw at half price. Thought this meant I was due to be pulped until I saw A Mind of My Own by national legend @kathyburke.bsky.social has got the same sticker. Now feel like I’m in VIP.

Finally made it next to two of my favourite writers: @irvinewelsh.bsky.social and Lofty Wiseman. Thanks so much @cccubookshop.bsky.social. Now all I need is the new @dgohn.bsky.social 12” in the background.

If you’re lucky enough to get rain this morning and now need a coat that doesn’t cook you, here are my picks for @financialtimes.com based on years spent doing foot patrols in all weathers: www.ft.com/content/248d...

The Prime Minister has said he’s a defender of pubs. Always good to meet a new starter.

How to queue, by a bouncer, for @nytimes.com. Contains some bad behaviour and @boardsofcanada.bsky.social www.nytimes.com/2026/07/15/t...

To anyone (everyone) who was screaming at Bellingham last night: here’s the interview I did for BBC Radio while the match was on. Very grateful to Jo for saying such kind things about my writing. I’m at 39 minutes (contains coke overdoses and fire extinguisher attacks): www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/...

If you can’t face the England game tonight: I’ll be on @bbclondon.bsky.social , @bbcradionorfolk.bsky.social and about 35 other stations at 10:30pm talking about working as a security guard and bouncer, and writing a book. Will try not to use four-star language.

Want a bouncer-approved coat that will keep you dry in summer storms without making you feel boiled? I wrote this for @financialtimes.com All featured garments go well over an England kit. www.ft.com/content/248d...

I wrote about how to work out at home, and the exercises that help make a manual job easier. mensfitness.co.uk/features/how...

It’s 25 degrees at night, your phone’s overheated and you hear someone trying your door (or your tent if you’re into camping). What do you need? A decent torch. Here are my picks for @telegraph.co.uk: www.telegraph.co.uk/recommended/...

An extract from my book What the Bouncer Saw about the moment when you realise the big boss is doing a runner.

If anyone’s stuck for Father’s Day present ideas: my book is 10% off at @bookshop.org and is wild and funny according to @sophiecharara.bsky.social . Guaranteed to make most dads laugh a lot more than socks or a Chinese toolkit. uk.bookshop.org/p/books/what...

This is really pretty. It also really needs to be the next @claypipemusic.bsky.social album.

If anyone wants the short version: they’re doing the same things you did, but with clearer photos and stronger weed.

I’m in some seriously upmarket company here. It feels like I’m on door duty at Annabel’s in Mayfair and have somehow fallen through into the Garden Room restaurant.

The bloke who bought Twitter said we’ll be on a new planet this year. So did a book published in 1992 … I wrote about Red Mars by Kim Stanley Robinson for @newscientist.com www.newscientist.com/article/2521...

@bunnyhausen.bsky.social Rough shift at work made easier by a sneak early listen to Blumenfantasie. Like balm with the bass turned up. Thank you for the music 👍🏻

To anyone getting squeezed by the cost of living crisis who liked my @ftweekend.com article: there’s a book version coming in May. It’s called What the Bouncer Saw and contains language that some people may find offensive. And awesome cover art by Sam Combes. www.hachette.co.uk/titles/georg...

Happy day you mothers. Fist bump to any stuck at work. Remember the wise words of this living legend: “She’s a queen/Second to none/Take care of mother/You only get one”.

Want to keep bookstores alive but still save money? @waterstones.bsky.social are doing discounts on pre-orders, including the one I’ve written. Type FEB26 at the checkout between now and Friday to get 25% off. Or get it on 7th May via @littlebrown.bsky.social www.waterstones.com/book/what-th...

Been threatened and not sure what counts as reasonable force? Wish it was something they’d taught you? I wrote this for @timeshighered.bsky.social on staying safe, and what to do if faced with a claustrophobic spice user: www.timeshighereducation.com/opinion/quic...

I wrote this. My favourite shoplifting excuse: “I was about to pay, but then I thought I heard the fire alarm so had to run.”

Thank you very much to @thetimes.com for including me in their bookshop. Apparently customers also bought Why We Drink Too Much by Dr Charles Knowles. He give you the scientific answer; mine involves fish bowl promotions and shots for a pound night. timesbookshop.co.uk/what-the-bou...

Do your first aid and help out this Christmas, even if you’re off work and at home. No-one wants to choke on the Christmas pudding sixpence.

Longest night of the year. If anyone needs some extra glow tonight beyond Christmas lights, I chose nine torches for @telegraph.co.uk based on a thousand patrols in the dark. Guess which model’s the “bonk light.” www.telegraph.co.uk/recommended/...

Security expert is currently on duty making sure Santa doesn’t climb into the car park.

Very honoured to be part of @waterstones.bsky.social list of books to read in 2026 alongside @katherinedunn.bsky.social @rorycarroll.bsky.social and @bethgardiner.bsky.social. Best Christmas pressie I could ask for next to new work boots. www.waterstones.com/blog/the-non...

Worried about break-ins this Christmas? I wrote this for @financialtimes.com on the best ways to keep out intruders, not including Santa. www.ft.com/content/0734...

Want to see the light? My guide for @telegraphnews.bsky.social on the best torches based on 20 years of working in the dark. www.telegraph.co.uk/recommended/...