Dallas Stars Pessimist

At this point man I just want Roope to live a good life. I don’t know why the game wants you, specifically, to die, but live Roope. Live.

I ordered regular season Dallas Stars, but you brought me playoff Dallas Stars

You can’t convince me that beastiality thing is some blanket rule change that slipped through. It’s way too specific. They did that to make a specific person hire-able.

1. Washington Capitals 2. Minnesota Wild 3. Team USA 4. Vegas Golden Knights 5. Team Canada The St. Louis Blues would have made my list back when they were still an NHL team

Sometimes I get the impression that we’re supposed to feel sorry for Detroit Red Wings fans, but I simply won’t do it. I’m old enough to remember when. Ya’ll can suffer longer than this. Thank you for your attention to this matter.

Very surprised we did not wake up to the announcement of new tariffs against Belgium

If you think this NHL offseason is hilarious, just wait until the first season the salary cap *doesn’t* exponentially rise. Nobody is prepared for that. Not the players, not the agents, not the GM’s. It’s gonna be great!

Do the Calgary Flames still have any hockey players? I’m trying to think of the name of….anybody? Who plays for them? I got nothing.

When the Dallas Stars move north to Plano, I think it would make sense to give them a new name, to reflect that change. Something like North Stars would work.

Bringing back Kiviranta was a very smart idea by Nill. I don’t know about hockey-wise, but the 2026 vibes needed a jolt back to simpler times.

The Toronto Maple Leafs today are giving me flashbacks to the 2012 Dallas Stars who took their allowance to Kmart and came back with a Fiddler, a Ryder, a Dvorak, a Souray, a Pardy, a Dowell, and a Godard

Tough week to be phrase “we like where our team is at.” Apparently there ain’t nobody in this league who like’s where their team is at.

Do the San Jose Sharks know that ELC’s eventually end?

Werenski was open to being traded to Dallas, but he rejected being traded to Plano

If Bowen Byram is worth the 4th overall pick, then Ilya Lyubushkin has to at least be worth another GM long-sighing and saying “okay, fine.”

Offer-sheeting Jason Robertson would require 4 first rd. picks, so clearly it won’t happen. Nobody has that many picks, right? And even if they did, they would also need tons of cap space, few roster spots to fill, and to be a bitter rival who’s willing to piss you off. Surely no team qualifies!

Why are Matt and Brady Tkachuk so desperate to play on the same team together, are they fuckin?

“Did Robertson get the tip? It looks like he did”

The Existence of Tyler Myers begs the question: Can tall be too tall?

I don’t understand why the Colorado Avalanche get a bye in the first round. Sure, they had an all-time great season, but it’s way too much of an advantage.

If the Dallas Stars lose to the Minnesota Wild, I will be bright-siding the shit out of that by choosing to frame the loss as the Pretti-Good protestors defeating those fucking Sieg-Heiling jersey wearers.

Being a hockey fan is strange, why did I wake up today with an urge to punch a Minnesotan

When your team’s success is dependent on a goaltender, the smart thing is to hire a coach who lost both of his last 2 jobs by alienating a goaltender

It’s a brilliant coaching move for Glen Gulutzan to suggest that the Dallas Stars give their standard 3rd round performance in March instead of May.

I have been caught in the wild

It would be funny if Quinn Hughes spent the next couple months listening to the Foligno brothers talk about how much fun it is to play with your brother, and that’s what made him decide to not sign an extension.

Kinda weird how the Olympic Games can somehow make you hate the Minnesota Wild even more

So basically, the only part of the Olympic experience that Jake Oettinger participated in was visiting Trump. I ain’t gonna forget that.

I loved everything about my Winter Classic experience, but absolutely nothing appeals to me about an also-ran outdoor game, against Vegas, in the Jerry Jones crypt

Bold move for the Baseball Hall of Fame to not elect him

Did I just watch Jason Robertson blow past someone on a breakaway?

2 of the greatest flexes in NHL history: -Paul Maurice quitting the Jets because their vibes are bad, then immediately winning 2 cups -Ryan O’Reilly telling the Sabres they made him hate hockey, then going elsewhere and immediately winning a cup I would see embarrassed if that’s were my teams

Both of my streaks continue. The Stars never lose when I see them play in DC or Dallas, and they never win when I see them play anywhere else.

What is happening here

I go to game Stars forget how hockey That’s just how it works

Jim Nill should whip his dick out at the trade deadline and use Seguin’s cap space to rent Sidney Crosby

If Jason Robertson came to me and said “I want to be friends with the Tkachuk’s and JT Miller” I would feel the same way that I will as a parent when my kid starts smoking weed with guys who just got out of jail

The thing sports teams won’t admit is they’re just chasing white people. All those suburban stadiums from the 70s/80s coincided with white flight. Then hipsters returned, and so did the stadiums. Now white people are scared of our own shadows again, and voila! But sure, it’s about premium seats.

“If you think this is toxic you ain’t seen nothing yet, I’ve been in much more toxic situations” is probably not the ideal thing to hear from your general manager, approximately 1 month into a season.

Real “turn of the century” vibes up in here. Where you at Detroit?

“Rhodes Oettinger” okay settle down guys, you had a baby, not a character from a British true crime novel

8. Family acceptance remains one of the strongest predictors of mental health outcomes for LGBTQ+ people. Research consistently shows that those with supportive family members experience significantly lower rates of suicide, depression, and substance abuse. familyproject.sfsu.edu/family-accep...

Weird how all the libertarians went quiet all of a sudden, for the first time ever in their lives

What the Wild should do is move the franchise to a tax feee state, like Texas maybe

Why won’t the Hoffman’s leave Erik Karlsson alone, haven’t they done enough already

Man that took AWHILE