GOOBER © (Official)

piss a mile in my pants

in this mr beast challenge we are going to see how many hot dogs we can get a man to eat before he explodes. we have cameras inside his tummy he could win 1 million dollars if he explodes and the video does well but he also signed a waiver he also needs to stay inside of this small triangle

this is also some of my art i make *sends 17 diffrrent screenshots of my own bsky post*

posting good when nobody's looking

creating my own discourse with cooler friends than you, to have cooler conflicts and drama than you will ever know in your lifetime

*3rd date* what if i told you i actually run a shit posting account on bluesky with the profile picture of marjorie taylor greene that has a comically large mouth? would you maybe wanna see me again after hearing that? i get like 15 likes sometimes. im sorry i threw up on you

been really enjoying brand lately and the way the product makes me feel. this brand is probably the brand ill stick with until either its unaffordable or the company does something i highly disagree with personally that doesn't align with my values. so far good brand, good product, great price. love

the economy is so cooked its giving me the option to pay in installments on a hat. a line of credit for a cranium accessory

asking tesla owners why they cant afford the flying one

from the moment the man died on the field pre game until the end it was an action packed american football game

mom, mom, mom, mom, gary, mom, im straight. *coming out as straight to your poly family*

that stuff that comes out of your boobs is that whats all over the bathroom floor? do your boobs cry? -guy who doesn't know or care how boobs work

what the fuck is this country music on the radio with 80s synth drums and shit with shitty country vocals over it with auto tune. i really think the end of the empire is near. it really is over.

traffic lights that dont have sensors and make people stop for no reason are also apart of acab and climate change

we saw you from across the bar and wanted to let you know you have eye boogies

soery i dont post here much anymore i post on tiktok now. i know that sounds crazy but my plan to get hot, make music, and turn people into communist is actually starting to work. if you find me there im so sorry

this is the guy who will start the revolution

why my bank telling me my car bill is due like they dont know theres no fucking money in my account right now. these people went to college

new stuff is going on every day

union democrats need protected

at some point in your early 30s you grow into your morning dad farts. just absolute ungodly flappers in the morning.

one of the best things they figured out about corn was cereals

everyone wayyy missed the point. whats wrong with dressing like a whore? please tell me

the boomers are going to live and haunt us forever

hydroplane? like getting high in the sky? nah bro we are in my car and its raining chill

dirty allen, the other fellas and i are snorting lines of communism behind the park dumpsters if ya wanna join with us. bring 6 packs of gum and 3 cigarettes

seeing a lot of marketing for "off-road" vehicles. last time i checked you're supposed to keep your vehicle on the road. zing

*daily fb core post* praying for all involved 🙏

will this fucking planet explode already?

budgeting and its looking like coffin/small celebration of my life is the most affordable way to move forward

when im looking up the drugs i do on drugs dot com its always like "dont take too much" and im like no shit man

in my communist society we all vape the same vape regardless of the contents. the vape has all the best features and can be wireless charged with your phone. it also has GPS

handlebar pubes

im not really getting the explosive thing doc mine is just kind of leaking out

spiders are gay

modest mouse

someone using your social and credit to buy a nicer car than you

dad im bisexual its like being a gay guy without the voice and i still have girlfriends too

i just saw at the store they are putting protein into goldfish crackers now. im all for more protein but you gotta be fucking kidding me

at the discount shit store looking for second hand poop