Halfsies

Halfsies

@halfmt.bsky.social

Semi-professional bastard

274 followers149 following966 posts

Halfsies
@halfmt.bsky.social

Dude, it's so disheartening to see how jiu-jitsu is absolutely filled to the brim with scumbags. Sex offenders, enablers, and nazis have no place in the sport

Halfsies
@halfmt.bsky.social

Society: "Violence is never the answer." Also society: *consistently and systematically removes all other available answers*

Halfsies
@halfmt.bsky.social

Look, there's not that many of them. If everyone would just get them all into one place and promise to be real cool about whatever happens next I will gladly fix all this.

Halfsies
@halfmt.bsky.social

Had to pull the bottom cover of the couch off to fix a spring that came loose from its anchor. Get it fixed, buttoned up, and flipped back over. Start hearing mysterious sounds. Cant find cat. Accidentally entombed her in the couch. 1/

Halfsies
@halfmt.bsky.social

Flip it over, get her out, restaple the bottom. Flip the couch back over and it slips out of my hand, just as she runs underneath it, smashing her flat it. I have never encountered an animal with so few preservation instincts. She's fine, but I'm sure she learned nothing. 2/2

Halfsies
@halfmt.bsky.social

I don't think there is anyone on Earth I'd rather have a true, no holds-barred conversation with than Obama. That has to be one of the most singular experiences in human history. Imagine crashing through one of the most reinforced ceilings in the history, and then watching the world 1/

Halfsies
@halfmt.bsky.social

Literally be destroyed because some people couldn't handle a black president. The anger and disbelief must be beyond anything you or I could comprehend. Like, I bet he is just constantly smashin' fucking dishes. There has to be a rage room built onto his house, where he spends all his Netflix 2/

Halfsies
@halfmt.bsky.social

Money on Trump merchandise to break with a hammer. That's probably why Michelle is so yoked. Just all day, every day John Henry-ing Trumpy bears until they can finally pass out at the end of the night. 3/3

Halfsies
@halfmt.bsky.social

Ok, like, for real though, no one is gonna be super sad about AI wiping us out, right? Look what we've fucking done to the place. We would never get our security deposit back! I don't know if AI will be better, but man, we're leaving a pretty high bar for it to be worse.

Halfsies
@halfmt.bsky.social

Look at the size of that fucking Yosemite Sam hat!! Why is everyone involved in this administration's nonsense some kind of weird, uncanny valley caricature of a person?!?!?

Halfsies
@halfmt.bsky.social

Here's the thing man, 9/11 was obviously one of the worst tragedies of the post WW2 era. There were thousands of innocent deaths, and hundreds of thousands of people who lost their children, their parents, their spouses, their siblings, their friends. My heart truly breaks for them. But at some 1/

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Halfsies
@halfmt.bsky.social

Other day screaming about how he hoped someone he didn't like would get sexually assaulted by a Muslim, over and over again with the same fury and disgust he probably used 25 years ago too. It's tired, the whole thing. Whatever you think 9/11 was, the schemes of mad men, a response to American 5/

Halfsies
@halfmt.bsky.social

Imperialism, a government conspiracy, or just the dangers of living in the free world, we need to let go of the weight thats been drowning us since i was 16. Let the innocent dead have their rest, rather than tying their ghost to a million bad decisions, military, political, and personal. 6/

Halfsies
@halfmt.bsky.social

Here's the thing man, 9/11 was obviously one of the worst tragedies of the post WW2 era. There were thousands of innocent deaths, and hundreds of thousands of people who lost their children, their parents, their spouses, their siblings, their friends. My heart truly breaks for them. But at some 1/

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Halfsies
@halfmt.bsky.social

Shoes on again. I bring this up not because this day doesn't deserve pause, or that the memory of those we lost shouldn't be remembered. 9/11 showed the world some of the most tragic, most heroic, and most human moments in all of American history. It's that now, 25 years later, our feet are 3/

Halfsies
@halfmt.bsky.social

Still marching to the distant echoes of the war drum. Our reactions are still the involuntary flinch of a trauma response. I listened to the local radio show today, and heard the host repeating the lies of Orange-Julius Ceasar regarding celebrations of the attacks. I saw a video of a dude the 4/

Halfsies
@halfmt.bsky.social

Here's the thing man, 9/11 was obviously one of the worst tragedies of the post WW2 era. There were thousands of innocent deaths, and hundreds of thousands of people who lost their children, their parents, their spouses, their siblings, their friends. My heart truly breaks for them. But at some 1/

Halfsies
@halfmt.bsky.social

Point, we have to let the waters still. American muslims should haven't have had to fear for their safety even in the immediate moments of 9/11, let alone a quarter century later. We shouldn't still be using big chunks of the fucking Patriot Act. We just barely got to start keeping our god damn 2/

Halfsies
@halfmt.bsky.social

URGENT!!!! After a massive bloody nose last night, my cat has acquired the taste for human blood. Its too late for me, but there's still time for all of you. Move to the coldest place you can, and no matter how much crashing you hear in the living room at night DO NOT LEAVE YOUR ROOM TO INVESTIGATE!

Halfsies reposted

Robert Reich
@rbreich.bsky.social

Why do you appreciate unions? I’ll start: Weekends off Paid vacations Work breaks Sick leave Paid holidays No child labor Safer working conditions Health care and retirement benefits

Halfsies
@halfmt.bsky.social

Man, I cant tell you how grateful I am for all the Twitter tribe I've managed to stay in touch with. Of all the shit I wanna punch Elon right in his stupud fucking face for, ruining my online social circle would get him the hardest.

Halfsies
@halfmt.bsky.social

"My hero!"

Halfsies@halfmt.bsky.social

So I fired up my Roomba for the first time today. The cat was....less than enthusiastic. But I do like to think she was proud of me when she watched me kill and rips its guts out by turning it off and emptying the dust bin. Dad: 1 Stupid Cat: 945,064

Halfsies
@halfmt.bsky.social

So I fired up my Roomba for the first time today. The cat was....less than enthusiastic. But I do like to think she was proud of me when she watched me kill and rips its guts out by turning it off and emptying the dust bin. Dad: 1 Stupid Cat: 945,064