Christine

I didn't so much mind Maya's glossy blandness when there were two more distinct Traitors sharing the screen time, but since Kenny came on board... 😴 #CelebrityTraitors

Here. For. This.

Someone had a hell of a hangover.

Got no voice. But gotta roast onna boat.

Hoomin. Woss this for??

Lost interest in the last few, perhaps due to lack of familiarity with the songs, but JFC Shaun 😥 #Strictly

I remain very much here for Jaime's messy energy ❤️ #Strictly

C'mon, Will can wear shorts for this (least foxtrotty) foxtrot but Chris has a full trouser for a Baywatch cha-cha? (Neither dance did much for me but I'd rather keep Will. #Strictly

Oh I loved the Godfather waltz. And even the bloody VT. And I always want each contestant to get to do at least one routine they feel really good about. #Strictly

Sarah is strangely underpowered for someone so athletic but she looks terrific and there were some lovely moments. #Strictly

Delta's dance seemed a bit staggery but that dress deserves five billion points. #Strictly

Thanks, Josh and Shirley, I did wonder how they were going to fit that bit in given the dance was based on the steerage scene. For once, I think the dance would have benefited from extra dancers a la Musicals Week. #Strictly

In contrast, the theme lifted Dani & Nikita's foxtrot. Admittedly I can't be objective about the early 90s Disney bangers! #Strictly

Kai has come as Peter Stringfellow, Neil Jones thinks it's already Hallowe'en and the themeing completely drowned the group dance. #Strictly

If you are not following the UK TV show #StrictlyComeDancing this evening, you may wish to mute the word #strictly for the next couple of hours!

Just prepped for #Strictly with a Legs & Co ep of #totp so EVERYONE'S dancing is gonna look great.

So the optician told me I have a eyelash growing inwards, irritating my cornea, and clearly this is going to be a source of horror to me for the rest of my days.

Happy 80th Birthday to the P/S Waverley. Launched on the 2nd of October 1946 at the A. & J. Inglis shipyard in Glasgow, she's the last sea-going passenger-carrying paddle steamer in the world. This was her heading down the Clyde close to Dumbuck in 2024. #glasgow #pswaverley #clydebuilt

Looking forward to more of Jaime's messy energy. No surprises from Dani. John giving big wedding dance. And omfgg Katya's dress... #Strictly

Lauren's blue dress! 😍 Graeme can stay as long as they include dogs and/or cute dog jumpers in the VTs. #Strictly

You need someome who can put on showy routines to carry us through the early weeks. Cach is part of a long tradition. #Strictly

C'mon, Melanie waa better than the footballer! #Strictly

Hope that having had a successful week one will make Lacey look less like she's hating being there. Chris... well I've always been wary of hairdressers. The state of my head will attest. #Strictly

Ngl I am HERE for the sparkly prancing lady dragons 😍😍 #Strictly

Did the producers feel so cringe for Shaun when they saw him dance that they cancelled thw traditional football-themed costuming? #Strictly

Sarah looks beautiful and has a good attitude. Plenty room to learn. And I guess we have this year's soap hunk finalist. 🤷‍♀️ #Strictly

I don't think the jive was a natural fit for Tabby but I'm looking forward to seeing what else she can do (before her probable premature exit). #Strictly

Will was lucky to get the samba out of the way week one. Less so with the outfit! #Strictly

Aaand already I'm fantasy frock- shopping. #Strictly

Another wee pal I met in Wigtown last week, for #caturday. AFAIK this one doesn't live in a book shop but is extremely friend-shaped and allowed me to touch belly!

Why does everybody think Jesse is the good guy in Breaking Bad? His defining trait is getting women killed and getting sympathy for it.

Any tips for a short visit to #Liverpool?

I want to come back as a cat who lives in a book shop.

"Go out and be among people," they said. "It's good for you," they said. Have they got any idea how hard it is to find a group of people who want to talk about anything other than shit about immigrants.

Would have loved a Janey Godley voiceover of drunken Nads. #c4news

Dunno about you, but I'm watching a 9 to 5/Clue double bill.

💔

Trying to free up storage by binning old WhatsApp images. They include a bajillion pics of tiny children and I can't tell which are the offspring of acquaintances from ancient group chats and which are those of my nearest & dearest ... I can delete 'em all, right?

Solidarity with the Clacton election workers having to deal with those huge ballot papers (shudders in Scot Parl list papers)

You know that thing when a new book comes out and it's a hardback and you think "that's a bit expensive for me. I think i'll wait for the paperback to come out" Me too. Which is why I do a thing called "When's the paperback coming out". bit.ly/3k932C7

House Targaryen won the Game of Wine Glasses. We had a set of four from when GoT was at its peak and over the years Lannister fell first, then Baratheon, and tonight House Stark, in spite of being off-duty, was defeated by the feared Cat With Zoomies. 'Mon the dragons.

Crackin' day for a speedboat trip on the Clyde!

Working class people are very well aware that getting a good apprenticeship and a trade can be lucrative. Working class people have long known plenty un- or under-employed graduates. The people who don't esteem quality vocational training are people who'll never need to worry about getting a job.

Spouse refers to Chris Philp as Temu Homelander and each time it eases the pain of being reminded of Chris Philp.

Wee bams wrecked one of the lovely #ScottiesInTheCity - if anyone would like to contribute to repairs: www.justgiving.com/campaign/sco...

If you've ever fancied trying a bit of amateur ham voice acting:

"I'll do a note" is an underrated pass-agg workplace response.

Oh no.