HANGMAN PAGE

youre probably looking at this fruit and thinking ‘wow, that must grow on a tropical island somewhere’, and you’d be WRONG AS HELL. its a pawpaw, the largest edible fruit native to north america. this is our first one and it tastes like banana, vanilla, and cantaloupe made a weird ass threesome baby

Andy was one of the coolest people i’ve ever met. and somehow, more than he was cool, he was exceedingly kind, sincere, and thoughtful.

juste un beaucoup de dahlias devant une sculpture de bandido, dévoilant au monde son visage parfaitement sculpté et d'une beauté exquise. jef, envoie d'abord ceci à speedball pour vérifier que le français est correct ; ne me laisse pas me couvrir de ridicule.

there’s nothin im gonna be able to say about Dolly Parton that you don’t already know. she is an inspiration. my kids have loved getting books in the mail from Dolly. you can donate to her imagination library here: donate.imaginationlibrary.com

"I am going to have to find something else to do and you bet your ass I will." - @hangmanpage.bsky.social

look at this happy little fucker. i fenced in the perennials this year and the rabbits are starving but the bees are slurpin that good shit down. get on your knees, pray to god: the birds and the bees

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i reckon i ought to start drawing some more boots and milkweed for you dumbasses next year

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the orange leaves of the common serviceberry, theyre very nice but also theyve mostly fallen off since last week. they just get perfect and immediately disappear. its not fair to me, the consumer (of nature)

hello, this comes out today. its maybe 30 minutes long and has a lot of behind the scenes type stuff. big thanks to zane and the crew. i will probably carry this one with me when its all over.. one of the best things ive done. 5pm normal time.

new hangman propaganda film being disseminated this friday (its actually very good and i am proud of it) youtu.be/05Nter-UzF8?...

nothing says ‘its fall yall’ like bees buzzin around on your goldenrod while the strawberry bushes you planted nearby just absolutely fuck off right back into the waterlogged clay into which you placed them

i have attended and paid my respects at church today (depicted). i have also been damned to find that chappell roan is performing a short train ride away but i am one ga ticket too late. life is peculiar; lush with joy, pain, and contradiction. forbidden door on ppv sunday.

i have caged in the flowers after this springs rabbit plague and heres the only beebalm with any will to live: puny and pathetic with a shit-ass bloom. thankfully for next season i have killed and eaten all the nearby rabbits, weird face tentacles and all

thank you for everything. i dont have the words to do the feeling justice because i havent slept in four days but ill try to find them by wednesday

look at this handsome son of a bitch, the bottlebrush buckeye. you get a fork and knife and eat this whole thing and itll kill you to death. also, a lil skipper. enjoy.

look i got no jokes or rhododendrons for you dumbasses today, just wanted to say it was an honor for all of us to perform in arena mexico last night. it felt special. thanks, goodbye youtu.be/H84MyRfKzK0?...

ok why do all these oakleaf hydrangeas keep just absolutely GIVING UP, is it because the ground is too WET and their WEAK and SICKLY little roots are ROTTEN?! i thought i was gonna be living in a little bee-buzzing eden but instead ive just got DEAD TWIGS poking out the ground

happy pride month, i would show you a pic of a rainbow of flower blooms but some asshole rabbit chomped them all down in one night so now i dont know what to do. will the bee balm come back? should i eat the rabbit? are all of lifes pursuits in vain?

now this is the kinda shit im talkin about. saguaro cactus. hell yeah. these bad boys can sequester the carbon equivalent of 40 gallons of gas, not releasing carbon back into the atmosphere during decomposition but interacting with the soil to create the mineral calcium carbonate(just a fuckin rock)

ah yes, the most holy day of the year: david attenboroughs birthday. here is his latest youtu.be/cIZAdCtKT_g?...

st johns worts are in bloom, apparently they can be used as an antidepressant and muscle relaxer but if you think im eating a flower you guys have fucking lost it

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well well well look who it is, the lazy ass ferns that just laid browned and flaccid on the ground all winter wanna get all high and mighty now that its a little warmer outside. i wont forget your true nature now that youre standing erect you little shits

hey look you dumbasses want more pictures of plants well fine have at it, it’s only 930 at night or something sure im not busy, here’s a piedmont azalea. good for pollinators and smells like honeysuckle or whatever. piss off

look at this cute little bastard i planted this weekend. soon he and his 69 siblings will all grow together to form a flowering carpet thatll make the neighbors stop and go ‘hey would ya look at that, that’s nice huh? isnt that nice?’

look, its tuesday i am drunk on a plane and ill just say i guess if you had a time machine and steve mayles phone number you could put me in banjo kazooie but i wouldnt turn my nose up at burning down a little hut or planting some goldenrod in twooka-laylee. mileage may vary on this skeet

big thanks to all of you dumbasses who spent your hard-earned money on this shirt. im not usually one to brag but fuck you its the best selling shirt of the year*. planting 3 red twig dogwoods this weekend *so far, will lose out to toni/mariah shirt id bet my left tit

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im gonna put so many plants into the ground

white-spotted slimy salamander, he is very slippery

let me make myself clear

of all the loathsome beasts and foul flora that inhabit our world there is none i detest more than YOU, YOU SICK CREEPING SON OF A BITCH

plants are just like animals, except in the ways in which they are not.

i hope the next person they give half my moveset to is at least kinda cool

damn it’s december and i just cant believe my coneflower are doing so good it truly is a christmas miracle

tall grass thing. i dont know what it’s called. not supposed to cut it back until spring i dont remember why, why dont you just google it like a fucking normal person.

what tha frog

“hey hangman you promised us pics of plants, this is just a bunch of leaves what gives?” newsflash dumbass, leaves IS plants. leaves provide winter shelter for insects like lightning bugs and butterflies, fertilize the soil, and are a pain in the ass to move anyway so just leave them where you can

look, i cannot make my inaturalist observations public because i have reason to believe there is a man who would track me down and stab me in the spine in my yard

oh did you dumbasses think i was kidding? this is a small beautyberry bush and the birds are gonna eat the hell out of these things soon.

jef this @aew.bsky.social is work’s thing right? make them put up the picture of my cardinal flowers from this summer immediately

oh my god you guys are gonna be so pissed when all i do is talk about gardening on here