Dr. Ivo "Eggman" Robotnik

i've taken knuckles keys and spread them around the city. does the master emerald allow you feel those you red idiot

felt rAnDoM today and built a non egg robot. it totally r0xx0rz. just saw it blast sonics ass. ROFLMAO!! this is le epic.

took over station square yesterday. had a lot of evil plans but im noticing the infrastructure of this place is in desperate need of service. the train to the mystic ruins hasnt been serviced in over 6 months. thats a fucking disaster waiting to happen. and the potholes! god almighty.

its a budgeting issue get off my nuts

hate those animals. fuck em. im a grown ass man.

idk what that shit shadow smokes is, i dissociated for 4 hours and when i snapped out of it i'd made enough boss machines for the next 4 games.

Sage made some glue art of Metal by gluing Metal to some paper. im so proud of her artistic endeavors. her brother isn't so thrilled but hey everyones a critic.

sonics mean. hes a bully. he hates me and he wants me to die. i didnt even do anything.

rouge is high as fuck in the living room ooh'ing and aah'ing over my "newest invention". Thats the fucking modem you bat bimbo.

i miss being on mythbusters

*throws scratch off the side of the egg carrier* im having a normal day

if man was made in the image of god i can't imagine what kind of freak made knuckles

sonic tried to kick me in the balls and it didn't work. tried to kick me in the ass and it didn't work. you see my dark secret hedgehog. im egg man you piece of shit. no dick. no balls. no ass. all egg.

i built a new machine. its so fucking cool. its better than tails machine, which is shit.

take a piss on everyone you hate

i notice you didn't vote for me.

fun to do it

Must have been the blue wind

its time to eggman go to the polls

eggy need drinky

another day of the fucking hedgehog flummoxing my stupid Ass

you're all waiting for the fucking day

landed the egg carrier on city hall. cops said i couldnt park there. i thought this was a free country

@hatethathedgehog.bsky.social hard at work in the chemistry lab

im tired of dealin with sonics bullshit . im fucking gaming.

i already shoved him into a robot and i cant remember which one fuuuuuuck

dealing with sonic and his dumb little friends sucks but i thank my lucky stars every day that i havent run into bugs bunny

here comes all the brain geniuses thinkin they know anything about tech. ive built space ships. im a doctor.

SHOW ME ANY MODERN MACHINE THAT WORKS THE WAY ITS SUPPOSED TO BEFORE YOU COME AT ME WITH THAT SHIT

i didnt even remember i had drafts.

i hope i'll be a big enough bad guy one day for strong bad to notice me

its not a RAY its a BEAM

i gave sage and metal the ability to float so my children would never know the tragedy of stubbing their toe on the kitchen table

finally someone appreciates me

nothing funny about dysphoria. he needs gender affirming care. this current administration doesn't have the will or ability to care for our most marginalized citizens. when im in charge, people like Sonic will be able to get the therapeutic and medical care they need after i blast them with my beam

ive collected all the genders to power a beam that gives sonic dysphoria

scratch failed to capture the hedgehog so i sent him to his room without dinner and he yelled back that he doesnt eat. the attitude on kids these days.

just got my ass kicked by captain planet. this is bullshit. he has a mullet. im a fucking doctor.

i was encouraged to do this as a warmup on stream

dont associate me with that nasty shit

ill take it. ill take 12

i can't believe it. #eggmanthursday

thanks to the lesbians for your support. the HEDGEHOG-B-GONE missile did, unfortunately, land directly in a cartoon hammock and bounce all the way back to me and then explode, blowing my face onto the back of my head like Daffy Duck your support in these times means a great deal.

everything fucking happens to me

Saw Knuckles dressed up as Superman im goin to the ARK ill see you fuckers when this halloween shits over

i love new followers. its a special kind of feeling seeing one person give you the 30+. imagine if knuckles wore pants and then you pantsed him, its like that its primal its special