Madam Mayor

Truth or Lie? 1. An ex-boyfriend broke up with me because I didn't have a penis. 2. I taught both my sons how to drive a steam locomotive. 3. I posed naked for an album cover.

He also calls out expensive tat.

Every fucking AI advert, ever.

I hope you don't mind that I put down in words how wonderful life is while you're in the world.

Another skircle of doom.

I started making a little painting website years ago and finally decided to finish it. I wanted to experiment with fluid simulation and different interactions. If you fancy having a look, I'd love to hear what you think! I've made it open source too. hendos.codeberg.page/canvas/

How is this a thing? cc: @wulfhelm.bsky.social

You know the generic, off the shelf advice. "Take it one day at a time." Thanks Linda! If you hadn't told me, I was going to skip Thursday! Linda!

🎶 Last time in Birm-ing-ham-iyo Bought myself a rum mojito Suddenly was enchanted The whole plane clapped when we landed Didn't wanna do just tourist stuff So I took the bus down to Digbeth It's a wild place to vacation Graffiti around the coach station 🎶

#unsolicitedduckphotos

#unsolicitedduckphotos

Please post your #unsolicitedduckphotos below. To be clear, we only want "ducks".

Without context.

Absolutely riveting.

People who say "go big or go home" seriously underestimate my willingness to go home. Sometimes it's literally my only goal.

I'm not old. I'm 25 + shipping and handling.

Most people don't realise how close we were to the end of the world.

Hey Karma. I've got a list of people you missed.

Good evening #Wülferhampton! Let's see who's about.

Rats is just star spelt backwards.

The opening song at the rave will be "Born Slippy"

Tonight on the Mead Hall menu (top table only) Toad int Ole. With seasonal vegetables n tatties and a medically approved gravy of appropriate thickness. Lower tables. Spam in the 'French' style. Ve/vegan option. A banana. Scraps and scrapings by the leper gate as ever.

This week, Mr Pip has barked at Alan Shearer Skelpies Trugs Langoustines Alfalfa The Ace of Spades Solstices The French Inappropriate crumbles An amorous brick Sweat pants Chlorine Feltching Brasso Flock wallpaper Linnets Worcestershire County Council and Selkirk

Tonight on the Mead Hall menu (top table only) Pizza. Like an open sandwich. But cooked. Because we Saxons are NOT FUCKING SAVAGES! Lower tables. Spam Anglaise Vegetarian/vegan. Used Budgie cage lining. Scraps and scrapings by the leper gate as ever.

Tonight on the Mead Hall menu Because @wulfhelm.bsky.social is adding content to his OnlySpams page (top table only) Codpiece Lower tables. Unspecified whitefish pieces +ketchup Vegetarian/vegan option. Aubergine Steak, Saffron Potato Purée and Charred Leek Gammon by the leopards gate as ever.

Tonight on the Mead Hall menu cc: @wulfhelm.bsky.social (top table only) Mashed potato and a Badger Lower tables. Jacket Potato with Cheesy Beans Vegetarian/vegan option. Vegan Jacket Potato with Vegan Chives and Vegan Sour Cream Salt, pepper, condiments (and gammon) by the leopard gate as ever

Tonight on the Mead Hall menu cc: @wulfhelm.bsky.social (top table only) Pancakes Lower tables. Pancakes Vegetarian/vegan option. Vegan Pancakes Lemon, sugar and syrups by the leopard gate as ever.

Tonight on the Mead Hall menu Because @wulfhelm.bsky.social is getting ready for lunar new year. All tables. Chicken Dumplings, Whole Fish and Longevity Noodles Vegetarian/vegan option. Black Moss with Mushrooms and Bamboo Shoots with Stir Fried Greens Lucky claw machines by the leopards gate.

Tonight on the Mead Hall menu Because @wulfhelm.bsky.social has toast (top table only) French onion soup Lower tables. Une torsade de réglisse et un bâton de sucre d'orge de Blackpool Vegetarian/vegan option. Thai green curry with aubergine and coconut rice Gammon by the leopard gate as ever.

This week, Mr Pip has barked at All things runcible Lemon grass The absence of toast Glowworms The Pillsbury doughboy The Flemish GK Chesterton The Pillars of Heaven Roughage Rust Plaits Volumetric flasks Latrine powered AI Twiggy Weird shaped kickballs and Cockburnspath.

Tonight on the Mead Hall menu Because @wulfhelm.bsky.social is having a feast (chocolates) for Odin. (top table only) Hotel Chocolat heart shape chocolate box Lower tables. Chocolates from said box Vegetarian/vegan option. Creamy Lemon Linguine with Artichoke Gammon by the leopards gate as ever

Tonight on the Mead Hall menu cc: @wulfhelm.bsky.social (top table only) A pack of tripple-A batteries Lower tables. Sausage and Mash in Onion Gravy Vegetarian/vegan option. Black beans, mushrooms and poblano pepper filling in plant-based enchiladas. Gammon by the leopard gate as ever.

@t-rexit.bsky.social are you still hungry?

Tonight on the Mead Hall menu Because @wulfhelm.bsky.social is watching classic Countdown with Carol Vorderman. (top table only) OOPL TMNI Lower tables. MAPS REFTTIRR, MHAS NAD SBLTEEEGVA Vegetarian/vegan option. Chestnut Mushroom Bourguignon in Red Wine Gravy AOGNMM by the leopard gate as ever

Tonight on the Mead Hall menu cc: @wulfhelm.bsky.social (top table only) Black country style meatballs and peas Lower tables. Donner kebab and garlic mayo Vegetarian/vegan option. Homemade pizza with tomato+garlic sauce, vegan cheese, and marinated tempeh crumbles Gammon by the leopards gate

A get well card for @frmo.bsky.social. Too soon? In bad taste? If so, then it's very on brand for everybody's favourite Uncle Knuckles.