Jeff Hebert

Jeff Hebert

@heromachine.com

Creator of HeroMachine, dog lover, web developer, co-host of the Nerdmudgeon podcast. I am trying to follow more people, not accounts.

583 followers1.3K following802 posts

We had frozen vegan gluten-free pizza last night and ate the cardboard base by accident. Let me tell you, that base was the best-tasting vegan gluten-free pizza we’ve ever had.

Gonna add “he just put his foot in the ground” to my “most hated football announcer sayings” list. Yeah, he did. On account of the running.

Pretty sure all the time we saved by working from home and not commuting has been replaced by the time we now spend saying "You're muted".

Swiped from a friend's status: "Spent a while at the social security office today. Best overheard comment: 'Well honey, excuse me for sayin' but that's just like a big ol’ fat juicy pig talkin’ about he pro-bacon.' "

Man, you think you're doing all right, looking decent, clothes fit a bit better, meds and exercise and diet are clicking. Then you walk by a vindictive shop window and see yourself in profile. Those things should be outlawed.

Thinking about the time my boss offered for ME to make a new website for the local pizza place so that HE could get free pizzas for life. Capitalism, man.

I found an old external drive from my last agency that had our roster of local installs for our clients backed up on it. 67 different sites. Man. And I was literally the only developer left at the end for about a year. No clue how we did it.

I just got back from walking our two BC/blue heeler #dogs. Finn manifested a tennis ball from the ether as he is wont to do. I heard a bird squeaking that sounded really close, so I thought maybe it was a momma bird trying to warn me off of her ground nest since there weren't any nearby trees.

I veered right, watched my footsteps to make sure I didn't stomp on anything, but still the chirp was almost following me. Near, far, from the left, I'd swerve right, from the right so I'd swerve left but this bird would NOT leave me alone.

Anyway it turned out Finn had manifested a SQUEAKY tennis ball and it was not, in fact, a bird at all. The moral of the story is, I'm dumb.

These favicons are all #Google products. I feel like we're seeing the real-time internal design team progression: • Our brand color is orange/yellow • But what if we added a little blue? • And then even MORE blue?! • Fuck it, all blue.

I said to the #dogs “Let’s go watch football!” but all they heard was “ball” and now they’re at the door staring at me morosely wondering why we are not playing Fetch. Worst. Dad. Ever.

I like the #Denver #Broncos but every time they play that horse-whinney sound in the stadium I think someone called for Frau Blücher.

I’m at the age and phone-typing incompetence level where I regularly have to assure my wife I am not having a medical incident.

I used #AI to scan in photos of my furnace and air filter manual so I could order the right air filters. It worked great, I just uploaded the photos; it found all the right details and placed the order which arrived today! Yes, technically it's an air fryer and not an air filter. Still impressive!

Is a collection of short stories around the same theme / characters different from the collection of chapters that make up a novel? I imagine so, in the same way a whole season of tv episodes is different from a movie but I am struggling to articulate why.

I just read someone on Reddit saying “you have to listen to both sides” to understand what’s going on in #Ukraine, specifically including Russian propaganda. That’s like saying “You need to drink equal amounts of both the poison and the cure.”

I can honestly say the seven miniature donkeys we had back in the day were among my favorite creatures ever. Just delightful animals.

weeder@weeder.bsky.social

Ok that's 3 minutes, keep moving, got a lot of sad teens here.

In 2013 I designed a logo for the .ninja domains we'd registered. A rush job but I thought it turned out all right. Then came a post on an industry blog saying his leg looks like ... well, if the logo stays visible for more than eight hours, call a doctor. Redesign on the right. Marketing fail!

From my local Facebook. None of this is BAD, it’s just kind of an odd combo. Wouldn’t the self-defense just be turning the other cheek? #utah

Professional speaking there are few worse feelings of dread than seeing the "..." next to your boss' name in the Slack DM list but nothing actually gets entered. JUST SAY IT ALREADY!!

My new favorite quote from my boss (who speaks Russian) from earlier today while trying to explain something to the team: “Anyway, it's a Russian fairy tale so everyone dies at the end.”

I read this story about how Target sent this woman ads for pregnancy products before she even knew she was pregnant, which is completely irrelevant to the fact that YouTube is now serving me erectile dysfunction pill ads all day.

A key survival skill developed while working at cube farms was ignoring distractions. People talking, doors slamming, someone stopping by your desk to chat about what should have been an email, etc. Just ignore it. Keep working. This is an ANTI-survival skill working from home with your spouse.

One of my clients had a directory listing therapists in their network, which was called the "Find a Provider" page. I was THIS close to abbreviating it "FAP page" to her in a Slack but caught myself at the last minute.

Apparently I'm supposed to move towards being conservative as I age, but the exact opposite is happening -- the older I get, the more bullshit I see, the more radical I am becoming.

I almost commented on this political post but then realized I'm not really qualified to say the thing I was going to say so I didn't post the comment and then the Old White Guy Police Force showed up at my door and kicked me out of the club! They revoked my Man Card and everything!