Jeff Morford

HighOPS: I'm done applying for new credit cards. Chase: What if we offer you IHG points worth $1000 and promise to approve you even if you are over 5/24. HighOPS: Dammit.

Not watching UM-Indiana but had to check wind speed in Ann Arbor after seeing the box score. Also, since they were playing like it was 1975 they should have let them end it at a 6-6 tie.

Paying tribute to Midwestern roots, while not disturbing the rest of the bus, by finger spelling cow while pointing the cow out to Mrs. HighOPS.

Podcaster talking about health longevity says "We don't see many 90-year-olds running on the pitch with their grandchildren on their shoulders." I don't think I could carry a 40-year-old very far either.

Hey, one of my favorite authors for me a clue in the NYT Crossword today

Good thing for Benson I voted before I knew she was gonna make me come in for my license renewal.

Candidate Text: I write this between campaign stops . . . Translation: Some intern wrote this three weeks ago to send 26 days or so before the election . . . My translation: I should never have given directly to a candidate instead of my union PAC several years ago.

If English does not have a word for it the borrowed word has to be allowed in word games, like CENOTE, for instance.

It is getting rough for R's . . .the old guys on the East side of Panera are talking about recovery from prostate surgery instead of politics.

Paint the foul part of the roof yellow.

I hope you feel sad, too, whoever left this guy behind.

Those numbers aren't right for o-linemen. I'm gonna have to quit this show for being too unrealistic.

I'm not sure why the debate about whether people have heard top songs crossgenre exists. If a song is good enough it will eventually be the background music on a Hulu ad.

The probes in the earlier timeline wouldn't have had dilithium diamonds fwiw.

Protip: If you keep an electric lawnmower and 40V battery with you, you can use them to quickly check the fit of your noise cancelling earbuds.

Tigers are only on pace to give up 48 runs because they are the road team.

An associate is carefully handpicking 4 jars of exactly the same pickles I'm using to get some small value from expiring credit card credits.

A bad call to benefit the Lions?

Because of my zip code I get a lot of Republican mailers and even without all the other bullshit I wouldn't want the empire run by people who are afraid of hyphens.

It's a shame the slick leather jackets fell out of fashion in favor of 1960's retro in TOS.

So HOMES would become SHAME?

Javy Báez does not dive.

I've got an old Yahoo Mail account I check every once in a while. I don't think it will make a comeback because they pop up some streak monitor over the controls you need after every fifth or tenth email you read or delete.

Passed a yard flag with bearded guy wearing a crown of thorns wiping hands and face on American flag. You can't wipe your blood and sweat on a US flag. Who does this guy think he is?

I turned on the game to see an interview of two arbitrary guys- not to watch the game so this half inning is great.

Change: Other Drivers, my diet, and white supremacist Christian fundamentalists controlling government remain on my personal top five fears, but my new number one is children who are too young riding electric vehicles on sidewalks.

Soon all of my emails will be requests to evaluate responses to my previous emails.

Big overlap between "The Terror: Devil in Silver" fans and "Wizard of Oz" fans based on ads being served.

2015- "I don't really wish harm on anyone." 2026- "The 'feet first through the wood chipper' notebook is full again. Can you bring me another?"

If Trump can write an executive order telling doctors when to give vaccines does that mean all doctors are employees of the executive branch? Did we get socialized health care and I missed it? Cool!

The last two weeks the Tigers sure have been messing up the expected win and loss column of the standings.

College in 2024: You can't be in the 25-Year Club because you worked 24.5 years and wrote resign instead of retire on your severance letter College in 2026: Jeffrey(sic) A.(sic) Morford, would you like to pay to come to our party? Maybe not, guys.

Guy next to me at a financial advisor dinner (I got time and like filets) told me he had put all his money in physical gold and silver. If I'd have thought more quickly I'd have said all of mine was on frozen orange juice concentrate futures.

I just walked past someone walking two tiny dogs and neither of them yapped or pulled on the leash towards me.

Wow, Tigers are tied for 10th now.

Torres trade value just went up.

That'll help Tork's trade value.

Cabrera - longevity, power hitter Inge - bad hitter Whitaker - longevity Cash - power hitter Kaline - longevity

Popcorn is healthful! Butter is healthful. Weird flavored salts are healthful?

Let's talk about wild cards when the schedule is unbalanced, too.