Oh no, it's Ickbat

Would you die for your friends? Would you draw blood, take a life? Would you deign accept their outstretched hand?

"I bequeath thee this Volvo, a wagon befitting your station" decreed the king of cars. "No, money down! Lo, this April"

One must imagine Sisyphus has great calves by now

I'd really love to stop swearing, Dave, but it just feels fucking rad

If a full–on lobotomy is too much to ask for maybe I can just get those fish that nibble off your feet. You know, piranhas

Like a glacier, I am slow to change and grow and I leave in my wake a landscape forever changed

I'm like Schrödinger's cat, my behavior and fate change when you observe me and I really wish you would stop doing that

Despite all the horrors, at least I don't get paid to use Powerpoint