Victor Laszlo

Any solution to the Israel-Palestine conflict based on the idea that one side will cease to exist isn’t a solution at all — it’s a fantasy indulged in by people a world away from the catastrophe who can afford the luxury of urging others to do the fighting and the dying.

"Zionism is racism" is anti-Semitism.

If a march through the streets of Manhattan praised the Ku Klux Klan, Mayor Mandani would rightly denounce it. But he hasn't uttered a word about Friday's march by rabid fans of Hamas. From the White House to Gracie Mansion, hate speech is now acceptable if you approve of the haters.

Yesterday's destruction of the Voting Rights Act is a reminder that the supporters of Ralph Nader and Jill Stein were overwhelmingly white and therefore could afford the catastrophe of a racist Supreme Court even as they denounced it.

The new slur of the Hamas Klux Klan is “zio-Karen,” which means… what? A woman who supports the existence of Israel while complaining to the manager? No, it’s just a mindless mishmash of stuff Hamasniks know they’re supposed to dislike, with a dollop of sexism as thinly veiled as their Jew-hatred.

Alas, many men and women in journalism are whores. But Bari Weiss is the only one who insists that being a whore is heroic.

Attacks on Jews in the name of anti-Zionism are, of course, an argument for Zionism.

If you didn't vote for Harris but now you're protesting ICE, you're a fucking hypocrite. YOU put those stormtroopers on the streets of Minneapolis. YOU murdered Renee Good.

A conservative celebrating Martin Luther King Day is like an arsonist celebrating National Fire Prevention Week.

Trump: The only thing limiting my powers as Commander-in-Chief is "my own morality." We're doomed.

European leaders say the annexation of Greenland by the U.S. will doom NATO. But this is all the more reason for the U.S. to annex Greenland in the eyes of Putin's pet president.

I bet I’m not the only one this is happening to — it’s been 2026 for five days now, but I’m still writing FUCK TRUMP on my checks.

Charlie Kirk had a constitutional right to be a racist pig without losing his life and others have a constitutional right to call him a racist pig without losing their jobs. If you can’t live with that, America is not for you.

Quiet, rapist.

The core concept of democracy is that those who dissent from their leaders are not disloyal to their country.. The core concept of Nazism is that those who dissent from their leaders are terrorists and traitors. Which of those beliefs best match what Republicans are saying?

The Trump Klux Klan was terribly upset this morning when they learned for the first time that there is no Nobel Prize for Rape.

Even the toughest critics of Pete Hegseth’s freakout at the Pentagon must admit that no man has tried that hard to convince people he’s heterosexual since Rock Hudson in “Giant.”

So it turns out that all the top military officers from around the world were summoned to the Pentagon just to hear Pete Hegseth rant and rave like the guy at the end of the bar at last call who's been there since happy hour downing doubles and screaming at the television.

No, a two-state solution is not a "reward" for Hamas. The nations that recognized Palestine today all say Hamas must have no future role in it. And Hamas doesn't want two states. It wants what Netanyahu wants: one authoritarian state from the river to the sea run by far-right religious fanatics.

In Brazil, ex-President Jair Bolsonaro has been found guilty of plotting a coup. First they beat us in coffee, now they beat us in justice.

Robert F. Kennedy’s official portrait

No one calls him "the president of Europe." But to be fair, perhaps he's confusing that with the many people who call him Hitler.

You can't spell Gestapo without G O P.

So now America is divided between those of us who are upset with the new text-only Cracker Barrel logo because they think it's "woke" and those of us who are NOT fucking idiots.

MOST EMBARRASSING MOMENT OF THE U.S.-RUSSIA SUMMIT: As Trump and Putin shook hands, witnesses reporting hearing the famous, frenetic notes of "Flight of the Bumblebee. It was the sound of Vlad playing Trump like a fiddle. www.youtube.com/watch?v=FjEx...

Over 100,000 Americans have applied to be ICE agents, boasts the Department of Homeland Security. But that number is awfully low considering the millions of Trump Klux Klansmen who would love to be paid to beat up brown people.

Thanks to Trump, we are no longer the world's policeman. We are now the world's juvenile delinquent.

Sticking a huge, vulgar ballroom onto the hallowed halls of the White House is just the beginning of Trump's plans to remake Washington in his image. He is also wants to add an amusement park to the Holocaust Museum.

Trump's policy on immigration is NOT racist. He just wants skilled workers who speak Caucasian.

In a touching tribute to the late Hulk Hogan, flags are being flown at half-mast at steroid factories across the country.

In other words, if your house is on fire and you say something about it, Jay Leno will attack you for being "political."

Thank you, Jay Leno, for denouncing political comedy. It's about time somebody told off that son of a bitch Jonathan Swift.

This could be THE hit movie of the summer — already there's tremendous buzz about the scene in which Statham beats the crap out of Wallace Shawn.

No, it’s not Republicanism. It’s not conservatism. It’s not libertarianism. It’s not nationalism. It’s not nativism. It’s not populism. It’s Nazism. Nazism. Call it anything else and you’re either trying to fool others or you’re fooling yourself.

Today's Republican Party is divided into three factions: the far right, the extreme far right and the Supreme Court.

Remember when we joked about his hair?

Ex-Representative George Santos reported to federal prison earlier today. Within an hour he was put in solitary for claiming he was the warden.

The death of Hulk Hogan reminds us that wrestlers are basically the flip side of drag queens — both are over-the-top parodies of gender stereotypes. The only difference is that fans of drag queens are in on the joke while fans of wrestlers are part of the joke. www.dailymail.co.uk/health/artic...

House Republicans now want to rename the Kennedy Center after Melania Trump. Democrats should respond with a bill that renames the Reagan National Airport after Stormy Daniels.

If Mamdani wins the New York mayoral race, Cuomo says he’ll move to Florida. Andy, the way this whole politics thing works is you’re supposed to promise stuff that makes it LESS likely people will vote for your opponent.