cookie

can we please have a real democracy instead of a democratic cosplay run by pervert goblin oligarchs

so i mailed my ballot from spain 10/9 & it was received into the us 10/22 & it’s the 27th & it’s still not been delivered to the polling location

fwiw this award looks like shit

89 yo dad texts be like:

i had to skip 4 sets of 20 presses because theres no other machine. like go be sad by the isometric shit that everyone hates. they couldve absolutely lost their minds in the crossfit room or the pilates room where the little old ladies are out before dawn. also her face was almost exactly this

if you are going to breakup at the gym please don’t do it while one of you is on the leg machine. it is a popular machine

im kind of starting to like britani she’s a good old fashioned slutty dumbass who’s just here for a good time. how you going to hate on that #rhoslc

british business guys are so horny to talk about their email job at sir top’em bottom factory. the plane hates you sir

man british reality tv is straight trash i love it

can you imagine using the vulgar corporate babble of ‘let’s continue this conversation offline’ to someone who just tragically lost their wife in a bullshit war

man the gop is obssessing over james talarico like a bunch of secretly gay mentally ill dudes

us gym whores to shane gillis fans when they realize they’ve been automatically signed up for the draft youtu.be/-992cts82bk?...

shane gillis is what we called an nbl in highschool. natural born loser

how’s everyone enjoying these rocks down here at the bottom?

oh i thot it was because you’re like 900lbs & can’t walk through grass on your crooked ass legs

as corny as it sounds i love voting. i fucking love it. oh so the government is asking who im picking? let’s go. marsha blackburn? not that piece of shit. phuck her back to the pharmaceutical companies who own her. not that haggerty asshole. fuck that guy too. feeling pretty fucking american today

trans women should be allowed to participate in competitive sports - karl marx

just repeating oh no! to myself at every turn

jessel squaring up on carole us such an amateur move #rhony she’s so shallow & carole drone distracting is pro

gettin’ my motherfuckin’ absentee ballot shipped so i can shit on all these motherfuckin’ assholes like marsha blackburn fuckin’ stupit ass bitch

raise your hand if you grew up with cousins who would fight for you even if you started it ✋

me not quite transitioned from summer into full dark mode

fucking assholes

i feel like the gop would do better if they collaborated with the writers from days or general hospital in coming up with red herrings. like basketball schedules are pretty concrete while being possessed or plotting with helena to freeze the world is arguable on many levels

children’s recceses sound like unfettered insanity. the amount of screaming alone is disconcerting. like a mix of deep gutteral whaling & high pitched yelps followed by an ear piercing cry waking the ancestors. i mean wtf are they doing?? maybe we should all be doing this in 30 minute intervals

getting my huzbin in the game this halloween

the 7yo pissed in a bottle and asked the 9yo if he wanted a drink. that’s a first for me

all I know is generation a better be having the best 67th birthday parties ever. if I wasn’t going to be almost 100’in 2077 id start a six seven party planning service

bromega point

tamra is so fucking funny making this face after hearing that guy describe his dick as a coke can #amen #rhoc

stepheratu. foiled again.

conscious: just because every real housewife gets new tits on a tire rotation schedule doesn’t mean you have to body dysmorphia up me: cool cool cool. kinda want new tits

me & this model from zara bout to start some shit up in our blouses

porscha is a vision in this red gangster fit #gagged #RHUGT

hahahahaha

bro looks hungry for brains

considering lore the zombie apocalypse started when they allowed the first dead senator to vote

happy #caturday from this himbo

my dad’s up awake & informed

europeans are too comfortable interchanging coke & coke zero & frankly they have foresaken mother diet coke altogether

i feel like if i show my boys braveheart but i explain mel gibson as trans they them i will be getting it right on a more evolutionary threshold

the best outcome from the ariana/charlie debacle is for ariana to become a loud atheist #NextGenNYC

rewatching all of absolutely fabulous and it’s very much the original and best real housewives

describing someone as a hoot & a half for my ancestors

cause if they acted out horny realistically it would be too embarrassing for everyone

when you see those uniforms it’s prettty obvious we are in the spaceballs timeline

no son you ain’t ready for spanish burger chains

jd vance isn’t smart. he lacks the curiosity fundamental to true intelligence. he’s predictable not imaginative. he’s dependent on cliche, stereotypes & the deception that white men who graduate from ivy schools are brilliant & not just propped up by the generations of rich white men before them

she’s all beep beep let me show you how to use this plate dumbass

wendell berry was another treasure. fair’s fair. we get three evil ones now & we all know who