tony hawk's prolapse

vernon maxwell seeing pat mcafee get bodied by people from utah

showing my kids clips of old MLB playoff games to prove to them that it used to get cold in october

a check swing is found only in the coward's toolbox and should always be punished with a strike call

his tragic illness made us smile...

checked my most watched actors this year and guess what willem dafoe you're chinese now

things are worse than ev-er, charlie brown

i promise not to become a roman statue guy over this but it is funny that fast food restaurants look like office buildings now

you either die a hero or live long enough to see yourself become bill maher

the only way these work is if they're a rashomon-style narrative about this recording session

There Will Be Blood is Pink Flamingos for sad people

jeopardy categories used to be "we give you the name of the city, you give us the region of the holy roman empire it was located in" and now they're like "movies starring tom hanks"

greg olsen looks somewhere between "dexter if he took steroids" and "the alcoholic sheriff from stranger things if he took steroids"

french cars be like "honk honk honk"

random mike ditka thought: he played for george halas and then was hired by halas to coach, which means he was one degree of separation from the creation of the NFL. he had to be the last guy that close, right?

the lions had a fun little stretch there but it's looking like another hundred years of darkness for them

anyone check in on her

RE: ella langley, once you hit your 30s the hot 100 becomes none of your business. get ready to learn sun ra, buddy

they fly now

i don't care if you bring coffee to an interview as long as it's coffee-flavored coffee, o-KAY?

"watchmen" making that tv show list is so bewildering that i can't really engage with it further. it's like someone telling you the sky is green

justin herbert is the perfect quarterback for the shortform video era, a guy who shines in 90-second "he's a PROBLEM" compilations and absolutely nowhere else

funny to bring up ICE because "i support legal immigration but not illegal immigration" led us there the same way "keep boys out of girl's sports" will lead us god only knows where

doing the viral homer simpson challenge (eat 64 slices of american cheese in one sitting)

this one lives rent free in my head

"deadliest warrior" was the funniest show ever. one guy would shoot a pig carcass with a 16th-century cannon and another guy would analyze it on a laptop and solemnly say "that would be a fatality on the battlefield"

keep dinner on the stove. me and the boys have donnie yen surrounded, i should be home soon

spoken word over a slightly slowed down "funky drummer" break and this is doing numbers on college radio in 1990

there are too many mannings

yes, we affirmed the fascists' belief that trans people are weird and scary but we had to do that to get a one-term senator. that's just good pragmatic politics.

SMU's coach has the name of a righteous gemstones character

[pamtheoffice_samepicture dot jpeg]

"requiem for a dream" and "american history X" both blew my mind when i watched them as a teen and when i revisited them as an adult they came off as well-made after school specials. i wonder what other movies are like that

did elizabeth holmes always look like a haim sister?

palestinians aren't allowed in the big tent but chiropractors and homeschool parents who sell supplements on instagram are. cool!

i saw a trailer for this that starts with a baby doing a double take as scrooge walks by. we could be in for a historically bad movie here

the AI breakfast burrito is a very succinct metaphor for how every business resents the idea that it has to give you something in exchange for your money

the zapruder film

saving you a click: loki (seasons 1 and 3 only) punisher warzone jackie chan's first strike wake in fright veronica's closet (seasons 2 thru 4) cube dwyane wade's the cube the hand that rocks the cradle crash (the racism one) tank girl the friends of eddie coyle crash (the fetish one) madame web ray

the death penalty for anyone who does a weepy stripped-down cover of a dance song

looked up how many guys played for both bay area teams and both chicago teams (seven altogether) and learned that goose gossage was one of them somehow

pronouncing "prilosec" like it's the surname of a croatian basketball player

francesca hong's tweets about thanksgiving taking more heat than graham platner talking about how much he loved murdering people really confirms a lot of priors about americans

going back in time to the 2011 nba draft to tell enes kanter right after he gets picked third overall that he washes out of the league before age 30 and ends up getting paid by dark money pedophiles to go on twitter and tell the WNBA "i identify as an attack helicopter LOL"

welcome to the WNBA draft, enes freedom! just enter the green room right here:

society would genuinely be better off, in some small way, if caitlin clark was 5'3 and had astygmatism

bill gramatica watching this with a thousand yard stare

well now who's going to make music for guys who post peaky blinders memes