Jack Lewis Evans

I made a video where I do my top 3 games of every year going backwards from now with no script and no edits. It is accidentally over 2 hours long.

Weirdos. Pretty sure UC have got previous for doing this with Palestine flags.

I’m doing a final gallop of my debut comedy hour ‘How To Juggle A Ferret’ at @abercomedyfest.bsky.social tomorrow (Sunday) at 1:45pm if you and/ or your fleas fancy it.

woke up from a vivid dream where everything was normal except there were double decker bus adverts for Kings Field V: The New Orb. fuming to be learn this is not real.

Just finished watching Noah (2014), Exodus (2014), and The Passion of the Christ (2004) back to back to back in correct chronological order. God is real and I am ready to see him kill Iron Man in Avengers: Doomsday (2026)

why is every GP in England Mengele.

Militarise the border around Piddington. We have to take back control.

the two types of AI “whistleblower”: 1) quit because of made up sci fi stuff about it killing us, their boss agrees with them 2) quit because AI is actually, right now, being used to cut jobs, accelerate climate breakdown and murder Palestinians one of these is not a whistleblower

hearing online that unlike in the old Wolverine game, you can't leap onto a helicopter, pull the pilot out and use the helicopter blades to remove his entire head. also you have to pay for it.

The climate hell we're descending into is going to firmly put Shell and BP etc. into Mao numbers.

adobe stuff is malware. exports supposedly openable in other software have a higher chance of crashing your machine than opening.

There’s loads of interesting analytical models about why the media serve power: the Propaganda Model, Cultural Hegemony, Primary Definers. But what if the best explanation is that they’re just irredeemable, evil shits?

burnham messing about with the emergency alerts just killed my uncle. he got a fright and fell into a quarry.

wow just found out there’s risk of wildfires, who knew. very useful and timely. please share!

DfE recruiting a pool of three precogs for each school. “Pre-scrounger identified. Isabella. Mr. Taylor’s Year 5 class. Must stop enjoying poetry and start learning how to prompt AI”

[uses huge brain] “the rise in sexism is driven by the growth of women staff *and* explicitly sexist rhetoric, victims *and* perpetrators are to blame” [lasers burst from eyes, ears and rectum]

When trying to explain to a Mega Brain UK Journo when something is a joke, you can just say “like Rod Liddle” and they will immediately calm down and say “oh amazing, I see now, so witty”

Lewis Badall

Chris Nolan told me that while it seems like The Odyssey is about the moral code of hospitality, it’s actually about how draft dodging is bad. Don’t draft dodge!!

Me, an anti-radicalisation genius: “You see, there is no difference between a bit of red paint and bombing people.”

By the end of the year my AI will have produced an historically accurate Shrek 5.

A thing the govt should actually ban (therefore they won’t)

GenAI is like Skynet but instead of nuking us it just turns everything, even small joys and marvels, into shit.

Look, a big problem for Burnham is that he had to create his cabinet from Labour MPs, and they are universally wet, fashy wronguns (he is also a Labour MP).

introducing: the Minister for Bubbles & Slop.

“neoliberalism” is better referred to as “market fundamentalism”

Skinner meme but instead of the children being wrong, its Amnesty International

You say wealth taxes won’t work because people will leave. I say: Bush-Blair style extradition and black sites for tax exiles.

As with this, and Rowling, it is going to be interesting to see which sensible commentators are ever going to mention that all of this is only possible because it's laundered through the mainstream broadsheets and treated as credible rather than mendacious horseshit.

Not only is there a magic money tree, there are two: renewables and migration. I think immigrants, all people, have value beyond our contributions to GDP, but blocking Miliband in favour of Mahmood as Chancellor, and framing it as the choice for “the economy” is maxed out silly sausage.

Why isn’t anyone speaking ill of Sam Neill? Could it be that he seems to have been sound af? Is this what the vile trolls demand!?!

Microsoft always finding new riffs on “videogame book burning”

It’s dead funny (depressing) that of the few things the UK does well, unis are right up there, yet our political class just relentlessly trash them.

tfw you think about Seattle

The UK is on a war footing! We must boost military spending. As such, we will reintroduce the top rate of tax from WW2: 99.25%. Any attempt to avoid this tax will be regarded as sabotage and treason, punishable by death.

80% of Gestapo arrests were initiated by civilian denunciations.

Starmer’s whole thing was just saying Reform voters (and policies) are right and appeasing (or implementing) them what are we talking about here lads. Thick or lying? (bit of both)

I'll say this for the heat: you can dry clothes fast. Huge evaporation buff.

The end of RE2 is a broken promise. “The downfall of Umbrella was mostly court cases, not good for gameplay” ok but Capcom made Ace Attorney.

35°C is normal, we used to just call that summer! Here's how many summers topped 32°C 70s 4 80s 2 90s 8 2000s 6 2010s all of them 2020s all of them And here's how many summers topped 35°C 70s 1 80s 0 90s 2 2000s 2 2010s 3 2020s 4 (out of 6 so far)

the oppressive warmth, stacked on the ambient fascism, is really adding to the We Live In Hell vibe.

excited to learn how fast can Burnham do the “everybody, even the centrists, realise he’s the same reheated dross” speedrun.

the age group in the UK whose minds are the most fried and poisoned by social media are 50+, not 16 year olds.

I have obtained a strawberry which has a little arse

whig history gets funnier by the year. history is “progress” is it lads? for whomst?

pogroms is it? starting to worry immigration might be an illegitimate concern and we’re accidentally Weimaring to close to the sun