James East

Out of office message on. Brain in Hibernation Mode as of 5pm tonight and for at least the next 10 days. I can feel my comprehension skills fading already. And just like the Hibernation Mode in old versions of Windows, it will probably fail to start back up properly resulting in permanent data loss.

There’s one good thing I’ll say about getting to BER airport at 6.30am: security is brilliantly fast

Found where they keep the noisy dogs in Germany

Badgers was TWENTY-THREE YEARS AGO? *crumbles into dust*

So the Berlin 2026 Wahl-O-Mat is live, and... well let's say there's no major shock in my results

Once again I find myself thinking it's time to make that full-time career switch to Alcoholic. I could probably be a Senior Alcoholic quite quickly... 🍻

Today, I genuinely heard a Scrum Master say “the corporate people don’t work in Agile, they don’t understand it means we can’t change our plans last minute” and, reader, my face reacted faster than my brain could stop it.

Err, I don’t think this is what they were intending to broadcast on the BBC News channel right now…

Yeah ok, I'll take that britmonkey.com/2020s-politi...

Just arrived at the dentist‘s office for an appointment and instead of saying I was here for a zahnreinigung (tooth cleaning) I tripped over my own tongue and said darmreinigung (gut cleaning) 🤦‍♂️

Don’t threaten me with a good time

Don’t ban kids using YouTube. Make YouTube behave like a broadcaster. Pay creators. Reinvest in the creative industries. Pay fair tax back into creators’ economies. Follow guidelines on fair usage and copyright. Play fair. It’s bigger than TV now. Make it behave like TV.

Lufthanzzza 😴

reading about the May government for a thing and mad, mad, mad that a Conservative Prime Minister said this nine years ago, I hate how much we've lost since then! I hate it so much! www.theguardian.com/society/2017...

Had a pint with Anthony Head in the King's Arms in Soho once, he was a really lovely guy. Sad to see he's gone at just 72.

Fuck them. Defy. Refuse to comply. Where’s it going to end up? Head librarian given the boot? Could be the unfair dismissal case of the age.

A colleague just said to me "I've always had issues setting boundaries but this job could work for someone like you, who I know doesn't have that issue" and wow does it feel cold in this shade

Not sure if the s is meant to be slightly collapsed or if it’s due to all the tourists sitting on it… 😂

God bless Irish pubs (but how is it easier to get this in Frankfurt than Berlin!?)

This apparently eternal winter in Berlin is just pushing me towards making poor life choices (booking a flight somewhere warm and stretching my credit cards even further)

Landed back in Britain an hour ago and only just now heard my first “see it say it sorted”. The country is slipping.

I have to say this every time someone mentions Pingu, but my favourite ever piece of audience feedback when I worked at the BBC was a call made to CBeebies to complain that the show wasn't being broadcast in English.

Ermahgerd snerrr ❄️

The authorities just sent an emergency alert to the whole of Berlin to tell us the power is being reconnected in the south-west. Seems a little over-dramatic…

Accordions, all over the U-Bahn, for all of 2026? Please, $deity, no...

This is literally what happened to me designthinkingcomic.substack.com/p/do-i-have-...

Lads, is it gay to wash your sheets now?

Unexpected side effect from yesterday's Covid vaccine: I feel hungover. 😵 At least, I'm pretty sure I didn't drink six pints in my sleep last night...

239962

On a warm Sunday in Berlin there’s nothing better than a few beers with friends in Mauerpark

Oh, air conditioner, how do I love thee? Let me count the ways… (it’s 33°C right now in Berlin and stepping outside may lead to spontaneous combustion)

A) Sad B) AOL is still a thing? C) AOL is owned by Yahoo now? D) Yahoo is still a thing?

I got a Blue Peter badge for appearing on the show when I worked for the BBC and took part in the Mattress Dominos world record attempt. Lost it on the tube though :(

So apparently the songs I enjoyed when I was in my 20s are now being played at Retro nights *crumbles into dust*

I’m starting to feel personally victimised by Grindr showing me this advert repeatedly

My cable internet has been out since lunchtime (I've been able to work thanks to using 5G) and I'm starting to worry I might actually have to watch *German* tv tonight 😬

Tonight, a friend said to me he hadn’t heard me speaking German so I looked across the table at the group of Austrians we were with and asked „Wohnt ihr alle in Wien?“ And the three of them all looked at me and said, in unison, „Huh?“ 😖

Currently, over on Instagram, I’m getting adverts for both hair removal foam and hair restoring foam. Make your mind up, algorithm!

I’ve got *no* idea what this beer I’ve got in this Chinese barbecue place in Singapore is, but it’s quite good

I actually quite enjoy making food, but I resent how it takes so much longer to make it than to eat it. This thought brought to you by the two sandwiches I just scarfed down for lunch.

Weighed myself at my lowest ever adult weight this morning, 91.8kg (14st 6½lbs), so yay me. Now to ruin all that hard work through a weekend of binge drinking!

The other day I was looking at shirts with a Russian friend and I said “I don’t really like the… y’know… neck sleeve”. He looked at me and said “you mean the ‘collar’?” and I was like… “ohh, yeah”. The German language is really beating up my head meat... err... I mean 'brain'.