Masque of Jared Stern

Masque of Jared Stern

@jaredstern.bsky.social

Voted 5x Best Comedian in DC by people who don't know any better. JaredStern.com Book: 1700 Esoteric Syllables About Yo Mama https://amzn.to/4iGHt7n Album: Live On Broadway* http://rb.gy/2aacid Podcast: Between Two Sterns http://bit.ly/3JxMIYD

175 followers183 following458 posts

Masque of Jared Stern
@jaredstern.bsky.social

Massive thanks to Laura, Liz, and the entire staff of Rams Head On Stage for having me on a SOLD OUT show with James Austin Johnson. Such a fun crowd, and he couldn't have been nicer. Yay comedy.

Masque of Jared Stern
@jaredstern.bsky.social

One of my favorites. Can't believe it. RIP to the bastard.

WrestleTalk@wrestletalk.bsky.social

Paul Heyman following PAC's passing: "What a tremendous talent and even finer human being. My most profound condolences to all who knew him. A truly terrible loss!"

Masque of Jared Stern
@jaredstern.bsky.social

I'll be opening for Emo in Detroit, Cleveland, Youngstown, Massillon, Savannah, Charleston, and/or Myrtle Beach... So yes, get to clickin'.

Emo Philips@emophilips.bsky.social

If you live in Bozeman, Osage Beach, St Louis, Peoria, Champaign, Indianapolis, Minneapolis, Eau Claire, Detroit, Cleveland, Youngstown, Massillon, Providence, Portsmouth, Boston, Uncasville, Baker City, Boise, Savannah, Charleston, and/or Myrtle Beach, please gently click www.emophilips.com/events

emophilips.comEvents - Emo PhilipsComedian & Mammal
Masque of Jared Stern
@jaredstern.bsky.social

#ICYMI Episode 165 is NOW AVAILABLE for your fleeting enjoyment! You can see the Jareds Stern on the same stage TONIGHT (if you live in or around Rockville, MD). www.giveahootcomedy.com/events/130288

Masque of Jared Stern@jaredstern.bsky.social

It's Episode 165! The Jareds Stern talk about imminent comedy (link in the comments!), degrees of dangerous idiocy, and spectating a crowd of young punks. Enjoy! promocards.byspotify.com/api/share/11...

promocards.byspotify.comEp 165: Supportive Mosh PitCheck this out! Listen now on @Spotify.
Masque of Jared Stern
@jaredstern.bsky.social

Jim Henson & Sammy Davis, Jr. died on the same day. Michael Jackson & Farrah Fawcett died on the same day. Ozzy & Hulk Hogan died within days of each other. Now, Dolly & Tim Curry. Not sure what my point is, other than misery loves company.

Masque of Jared Stern
@jaredstern.bsky.social

Dolly, we hardly knew ye.

Mike Drucker@mikedrucker.bsky.social

Dolly Parton dying hits so hard. She felt like one of those figures who always was and always will be. She felt like America when it was trying to be the place it promised to be. As beloved as her music is, it’s even better than people give it credit for. There won’t be another one like her.

Masque of Jared Stern
@jaredstern.bsky.social

Christ, my commute is going to suck.

PoPville@popville.bsky.social

“NCPC approved preliminary site and building plans for a New Monumental Arch located in Memorial Circle at the west terminus of Arlington Memorial Bridge” - Read more: www.popville.com/2026/07/new-...

popville.com“NCPC approved preliminary site and building plans for a New Monumental Arch located in Memorial Circle at the west terminus of Arlington Memorial Bridge” - PoPvilleFrom the National Capital Planning Commission: "NCPC approved preliminary site and building plans for a New Monumental Arch located in Memorial Circle at the west terminus of Arlington Memorial Bridge...
Masque of Jared Stern
@jaredstern.bsky.social

If you want more joy in your life, get yourself some of these prints...

James Hance@jameshance.com

It’s my birthday! I’m incredibly old now, like an old tree or a skeleton! You can take advantage of my withered mental state by using the code BDAY20 and getting a whopping 20% off of ANY order of $50 and up for the next 24 hours - That includes ALL prints AND originals ☺️ hooray!!

Masque of Jared Stern
@jaredstern.bsky.social

The fun starts TONIGHT! Heed the promo, avoid the FOMO.

Masque of Jared Stern@jaredstern.bsky.social

Hey DC/NOVA peeps: I'm opening for Taylor Williamson at Arlington Drafthouse this weekend! Please to laugh in our general direction... arlingtondrafthouse.com/shows/taylor...

arlingtondrafthouse.comTaylor Williamson | Arlington DrafthouseTaylor Williamson is a comedian best known for being runner up on America’s Got Talent. He started performing standup while he was a senior in high school in D…
Masque of Jared Stern
@jaredstern.bsky.social

Last Unicorn and Secret of NIMH were formative pieces of my childhood.

Kasey Gifford@kaseygifford.bsky.social

Kids need/deserve traumatic films. Films that show death or lasting consequences that aren't resolved almost instantly. Fear, anger, grief and frustration should be part of kids movies. Kids arent stupid, they feel big emotions just like adults, they deserve to see those experiences reflected back.

Masque of Jared Stern
@jaredstern.bsky.social

*slow cap*

Eric Rauchway@rauchway.bsky.social

“Until now, I’ve been a passionate supporter of SS-Sturmbannführer Arnold Toht, the Nazi who got his face melted off by the sight of God, in his race for Senator. I believe the people of Maine deserve better than Susan Collins”

mcsweeneys.netIf Only There Had Been a Sign That the Face-Melting Nazi from Indiana Jones Wouldn’t Make a Good Senator“There’s simply no way any of us could have predicted a Nazi SS guy with his eyeballs dangling out of his sockets and the Staff of Ra broiled into his flesh ...