Jay Spightmare on Elm St.

Jay Spightmare on Elm St.

@jayspight.bsky.social

Goin nowhere slow

171 followers405 following834 posts

Jay Spightmare on Elm St.
@jayspight.bsky.social

Thank you for pointing out that these awards institutions are also racist thank you mr. prune in a suit

The Bulwark@thebulwark.com

RFK: "There's five hundred million Arabs in the world. And yet they don't produce science. They don't win the Nobel Prize. They don't win the Fields Prize. They don't win the Wolf Prize. They don't produce literature."

Jay Spightmare on Elm St.
@jayspight.bsky.social

I once worked at a place called the Cheesesteak Factory and it was a nightmare whenever I had to explain that no, I work at this other place that only sells (embarassingly enunciates) cheese-STEAKS

Jay Spightmare on Elm St.
@jayspight.bsky.social

just got owned by a guy in a tri-corn hat at the grocery store. went to grab some butter and four boxes fell off the rack and he goes “guess that’s what they mean by butterfingers” and all I could do was say “ya got me”

Jay Spightmare on Elm St.
@jayspight.bsky.social

When I was at summer day camp in the mid 90’s, another kid told me his dad had a video game room with virtual reality and hundreds of games oh and also a bunch of dirty movies. And that kid’s dad was? You guessed it, divorced.

Matt Novak@paleofuture.bsky.social

sentient

Jay Spightmare on Elm St.
@jayspight.bsky.social

there’s an ad on pluto tv I hate that has a clip of Bert Kreischer saying, completely context-free, “if you’re an alcoholic you’ll get caught.” no, you’re just the most that thing. it’s like if Liberace said “if you’re gay they’ll know.”

Jay Spightmare on Elm St. reposted

captain bleach
@blainecapatch.bsky.social

MAD TV’S 100 BEST TV SHOWS OF THE 21st CENTURY 1. Butter Ball Saul 2. Hicks 3. Widow’s Bae 4. Mad Men’s Wearhouse 5. Succotashion 6. Kevin Hart Can Fuck Himself 7. The Wirewolf 8. Slow Lorises 9. Twin Peaky Blinders 10. Reacheround

Jay Spightmare on Elm St.
@jayspight.bsky.social

more like… POOPer inTOILETgence…

Justin Hendrix@justinhendrix.bsky.social

United States President Donald Trump issues executive order instructing federal government agencies to "use the terms 'Super Intelligence' and 'SI' in place of 'Artificial Intelligence' and 'AI' and will not acknowledge the usage of 'Artificial Intelligence' and 'AI' in any applicable setting."

whitehouse.govInaugurating The Era Of Super IntelligenceBy the authority vested in me as President by the Constitution and the laws of the United States of America, it is hereby ordered: Section 1. Every child deserves a safe and nurturing home where they ...
Jay Spightmare on Elm St.
@jayspight.bsky.social

I’m gonna have the BEST 12 foot skeleton this Halloween. Many yards have them but mine will blow them all away. Literally. It will have laser guns for eyes and shoot rockets from its ribcage. This will ensure the SAFEST Halloween ever and has absolutely nothing to do with my lease ending Nov 1st.

Jay Spightmare on Elm St. reposted

Jay Spightmare on Elm St.
@jayspight.bsky.social

Here’s the thing: do you believe throwing trans people under the bus will be a net positive or a net negative for votes for democrats? If you believe it will be a net positive then shut the fuck up about trans people and leftists not voting for the guy who is willing to bend on human rights issues.

Jay Spightmare on Elm St.
@jayspight.bsky.social

DRILL SERGEANT: You better get hard for me right now soldier or I will court martial your ass into next Tuesday! SOLDIER: [instantly gets hard] DS: What’re you, gay, soldier?! S: Erm.. sir, no sir! [loses boner] DS: Damn straight, now get that patriotic pole so stiff I can hang a flag on it!

MeidasTouch@meidastouch.com

NEWS: The Pentagon has announced mandatory low-testosterone screenings for male troops 30 and older, including screening for symptoms such as “reduced libido, loss of spontaneous morning erections, erectile dysfunction,” and other symptoms.

Jay Spightmare on Elm St.
@jayspight.bsky.social

Here’s the thing: do you believe throwing trans people under the bus will be a net positive or a net negative for votes for democrats? If you believe it will be a net positive then shut the fuck up about trans people and leftists not voting for the guy who is willing to bend on human rights issues.