John Abbott

Why does it feel like KPop Demon Hunters was 3 or 4 years ago? It was June of last year.

Before this week, I was vaguely aware that someone named Ethan Klein existed. I was happier when that was the full extent of what I knew about him and everyone associated with him.

It's weird hearing about drama among influencers, having absolutely no idea who any but one of them are, and the only one you know anything about was against your will.

If you live in a neighborhood with lots of trick-or-treaters and need a costume idea, you could always dress up as Statler and Waldorf, decorate a folding table to look like a theater balcony, and heckle the trick-or-treaters (or their parents) as you hand out candy.

There's absolutely no reason that jury selection still needs to be done in person. That shit could be a zoom conference.

Suzanne Collins worked hard writing The Hunger Games, and Susan Collins is working hard to make it real.

“If y’all didn’t want me to vote for Trump, Dems shoulda done better than Harris.” is the same as… “I wanted a Manhattan, but the restaurant gave me a martini. So I went home and drank out of the toilet.”

One of the subtly funny things about the Key & Peele East-West Bowl skits is how many wigs they had styled just to be used one time for 3.5 seconds each.

Katie Zacharia only lasted half a Scaramucci as the White House Press Secretary.

Stephen Miller is what you'd get if a vampire accidentally turned an anal polyp and then Clockwork Oranged him with nazi parade videos for 600 years.

If you're ever feeling down about yourself, remember it could always be worse. You could be someone who just got outed as being a real human who is dumb enough to actually believe the Yandex botfarm narratives.

For Spooky season!

Hells to the yeah.

I just found out that Eminem is doing a collab with Kid Rock. Now we can get some of Mom's Spaghetti and meatbawitdaba dabang diggydiggydiggy

your response to “I was raped” should not be “I was right”

I just learned that domesticated cats don't have the taste receptors needed to taste sweetness, and now I'm sad.

The Talmud teaches that anyone who sustains one soul, has sustained an entire world. For generations, Jewish New Yorkers have sustained our city. Today, we are launching the first-ever municipal Strategy to Combat Antisemitism.

A rad GenZ pop-punk band from Atlanta. www.youtube.com/watch?v=xj4g...

"If we can pressure lawmakers to create guardrails, we WILL be able to stop me"

Any other millennials out there who miss the Accelerated Reader program from middle school, or is it just me?

Exactly how many times do we have to get video recordings of people saying they are a US Citizen and ICE agents responding "we don't care, you don't have rights" before conservatives accept the reality that what ICE is doing is an ethnic cleansing?

So, how many members of Trump's cabinet do you suppose have already used shell companies to buy property in Argentina in hopes of fleeing there when his administration ends?

Fun fact: This is the 50th anniversary for Alaska's UBI program, and if a politician there suggested getting rid of it, that'd be the end of their career.

Man...Imagine being a cop, and your entire department being so shit at your jobs that *even the state of Texas* agrees your whole department should be shut down.

Dear Ed Sheeran, I hear Kid Rock is available.

The folks who wanted to silence Macklemore really are learning about the Streisand Effect this week.

May we each and every one of us have the day that we deserve.

I see the video of McConnell and all I can think is Disney is doing some really amazing work with their animatronics these days.

Love to see it.

Well, I certainly didn't have "Blur-balled underwear pick of Hasan Piker on the jumbo-tron at the RNC convention" on my 2026 bingo card, but I suppose it was the next logical step for the GOP.

RT if you’ve never had a tab of ChatGPT open, period.

Good news: he lost.

"It's supposed to be difficult. Food safety is hard."

Watching an 18 minute video about Capybara puppies is self-care.

Corporate establishment Democrats are actively working to lose the most winnable election in human history. Every person still supporting Jeffries and Schumer and their race to the right in the name of centrism is actively complicit in that loss.

Why do I care about other people being vaccinated if I'm so certain vaccines work? Because I am burdened with the curse of giving a shit about people who aren't me. I care about YOUR kid(s) being vaccinated because I care about their health and safety as much as I do my own kid.