Jeff Strand

In a nod to the current mood, Scrooge gets the guillotine at the end.

Wasn't expecting BREEDER to be one of my favorite movies of the year, but here we are.

Whoa! I'm the Publishers Marketplace Deal of the Day!

Watch out! I'm going to be writing a couple of Choose Your Own Adventure books!

Whether you stare creepily at your screen, or just have it playing in the background, this is 54 minutes of exquisite content! youtu.be/NtKEORyeBpk

Despite the internet’s relentless efforts, we’re about to see this (mostly) unspoiled!

I encourage everybody to buy a barrel full of copies to hand out to trick-or-treaters! www.wdio.com/lift-online/...

Happy National Pug Day to those who celebrate!

Tonight's dinner was definitely "All You Can Eat Sushi" instead of "All You Should Eat Sushi." 🤢

The latest issue of Bridgett's newsletter is out! Check it out here: substack.com/home/post/p-...

Eight legs out of eight to CRAWLERS.

Even if you ignore the enslavement and genocide, can't we least agree that "In 1492, Columbus sailed the ocean blue" is a lazy-ass rhyme?

Enjoying some fine merch from Bridgett Nelson's new shop! www.etsy.com/shop/WithLov...

One year ago today I got this tattoo. It has yet to come to life and force my arm to commit unspeakable acts against my will.

It bombed hard this past weekend and most of you probably never even heard of it, but BEWARE BOIUNA is frickin' great!!!

Indie approves of me going to see BEWARE BOIUNA.

Bridgett Nelson's new online store is live!!! Books! Shirts! Other cool stuff! The perfect holiday gifts for the many weirdos in your life. www.etsy.com/shop/WithLov...

You didn't want FUN TIMES AT THE BLOODBATH until the author of a lesbian cannibal book weighed in. Well, @drspookyer.bsky.social, author of EAT YOUR HEART OUT has said "This book is absolutely absurd and hilarious." So why not make it a fun times at the lesbian cannibal bloodbath week and get both?

I respect the move, Hidden Valley Ranch, but this was nasty.

Eric Schmitt has slunk off to lick his wounds at Four Seasons Total Landscaping.

Gooooooo Seahawks!!! Savor the experience of playing football at a professional level!

Sometimes it’s difficult to get writing done.

I'm here for you, Atlanta Falcons fans!

Not long after PRESSURE was a "Forgotten Thriller" in one of these articles, it's now one of the greatest mystery books you haven't read! collider.com/best-mystery...

We didn’t stop here, so I can’t say what “galore” entails, but I’m sure they had condoms a-plenty!

This message on the Chili’s silverware packet is oddly unnerving.

MAY not? Seriously, New York Times? MAY not?

My next book will be written with this pencil!

Woooo!!! Free food! The hotel didn’t clean out the fridge after the last guest!

Wow, September took FOREVER to get here! (My actual mental state is "How the hell is it September already???" but I'm trying to sound more youthful.)

My executive order went through!

Heading to the Minnesota State Fair today for some classy dining!

Happy 3rd birthday to Indie, who taught me that snakes are not vicious killing machines that will try to devour me at the earliest opportunity, but rather sweet derps.

Though I'm obviously quite flattered, I'm going to assume this e-mail telling me FUN TIMES AT THE BLOODBATH is being considered for Reese Witherspoon's Book Club is not entirely legitimate.

I'll take the "aged like fine wine" compliment and ignore the fact that my novel PRESSURE is apparently forgotten! :) collider.com/forgotten-th...

I’ve issued an executive order to rename this to Lake Please Order My New Book Fun Times At The Bloodbath!

Seven years ago, I started a controversy that would define my career.

Rod Stewart cancelled his concert at the Minnesota State Fair, but rest assured, I will still be ROCKING THE HELL OUT on Monday when I thrash around in the mosh pit to the music of Tommy James & The Shondells and Herman's Hermits!!! I hope nobody gets hurt!

ALANIS MORISSETTE: Could you bring me a knife, please? SERVER: No, but I can bring you ten thousand spoons. ALANIS: I really just need a-- SERVER: TEN THOUSAND SPOONS!!!!!!

Chaos in rigorous training for the National Feline Sleeping Championship.

That feeling when your 3rd grade teacher is proud of you...

If you've ever wanted to see a movie where the filmmakers sent me the script and asked what I thought, you won't want to miss ATTACK OF THE KILLER TOMATOES: ORGANIC INTELLIGENCE, in select theaters NOW!!!

I'm torn. Paul Synuria II said, "I look forward to Jeff Strand’s kids' books as much as his adult novels. TERROR FROM THE CAVE is my favorite of the 4 Eek! books. Scary, funny and nerve wrecking." But he also puts ketchup on hot dogs and thus has zero credibility.

Happy Friday! Why not spend this weekend having some fun times....AT THE BLOODBATH!!!

Take a mental health day and spend the day reading! www.amazon.com/Screams-Asyl...

Some days I think I should run for President of the Horror Writers Association. Then I laugh so hard I have to call an ambulance for hernia surgery.

People who order books are awesome, but people who PRE-order books are next level! Contains my story "Sanity Stats." www.amazon.com/Screams-Asyl...

When you’re a savage beast but also kinda lazy.

Best of days to those who celebrate!

The standards for ugly dogs have really slipped if this is the ugliest they've got.