Jimmy Pardo

Why can’t this dickfuck get hit in the back of the head by a Titleist from the foursome behind him?

Great line… but dude’s gotta mention Sherrod Brown’s ass! That’s how we get votes!!

A- you didn’t B- you started one Go away, fuckwad!

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As long as there are swap meets & construction sites, classic rock will never die! #reeper #dontfearit

Great turnout! About a thousand folks at the #nokings rally in Culver City! #midterms #MrPibb

Getting knocked out of playoffs sucked, but @soxmachine.com Jim nails it here… “great way to spend the summer.”

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Let’s go Sox!!! #ALDS

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I’ll send Will a signed @nevernotfunny.com hat if I’m wrong… but this sure doesn’t look like THE lineup with the season on the line. @jrfegan.bsky.social @josh.soxmachine.com

Oh! So it IS a war.

Someone in the booth needs to tell Justin Morneau that you don’t button that bottom button of a sport coat. @mlb.com #Peacock #MattVasgersian #SteveStone

Hey White Sox, I was catcher exactly ONE time in Little League over 50 years ago & I can provide the same offense you’re currently getting. Let me know if you want me to suit up.

I'm part of this show to benefit Field Team 6 (grassroots org that registers Democratic voters) When: Wednesday, September 2nd, 7:30pm Where: Village Well Books and Coffee - Culver City, CA @fieldteam6 #voterizer secure.actblue.com/donate/ft6i-...

“Guys, I don’t EVER want to see you swinging at a ball right down the middle of the plate!” - White Sox hitting coach - 2026

“I’m very good at flagpoles” - The President Of The United States Of America, 8/19/26

Tonight, Thursday August 20, I break my 7 year fast & return to DR. Grins in Grand Rapids, MI!! Come out, laugh and get some new braces or whatever the hell the name means. Steve Iott joins me! www.thebob.com/drgrins/come...

Tonight! I make my return to Go Bananas in Cincinnati! 7:30 show! Ossia Dwyer & Garrett Titlebaum join me! There is talk Chris Sabo may stop in for a set. (Talk that is not to be believed) gobananascomedy.com/main/

Here's a chance to see me with my bed head, baggy eyes and huge forehead longwindedly answer some questions to promote next week's show in Grand Rapids, MI! www.woodtv.com/video/comedi...

NEXT WEEK!! Cincinnati, Grand Rapids & Ann Arbor! TIX links at jimmypardo.com It's time!

To quote my act from 1993: “It looks like he has a piece of lettuce on his head.” <applause break>

I'll be running my mouth this Friday at the ELKS LODGE in Van Nuys! In the area, come out & enjoy some pasta & comedy! Info on flyer!

Yes-indeed-io... THIS Saturday is Escon-did-io! August 1 at The Grand Comedy Club in Escondido! www.grandcomedyclub.com

So this prick can insult the room w painfully unfunny “jokes”, but if a late night comic blasts him w a brilliant one, he calls for their termination. Got it.

Had an amazingly fun time w my pals @brendansmith.bsky.social , Ahmet & Richard on @rocktailsradio.bsky.social deciding the best rock song of 1984! 16 songs enter… you won’t believe what won! www.youtube.com/watch?v=Unrb...

Oh boy! Next week, we start August w some ultimate nonsense! Heading to Escondido & bringing MACEY ISAACS & OLIVER PARDO along w me! www.grandcomedyclub.com

Why can’t MLB umpires get a more tailored pant? #importantquestions

They say they always come in threes…

This Saturday, July 11 @ 7:30pm... It's Yoo Hoo Room time once again! Flappers Comedy Club in Burbank, VCA @blainecapatch.bsky.social joins me!!! Come on out... cool down with some hot comedy! IN the meantime, here's a photo of me with a rainbow parasol. www.flapperscomedy.com/site/shows.p...

My call to Mitch went right to VM.

HUGE America 250 "Cleaning House" Tour & @nevernotfunny.com SALE!!! Get 40% off in honor of July 4! USE code JULY jimmypardo.bigcartel.com

We are going live!!! 1984 Mainstream Rock Songs Bracket!! See link below!!

Look at this! I’m joining my pals on “Rocktails” tonight at 5pm PT! Always a great time! Watch on YouTube!!

MAGA should be insulted that he talks down to them. Instead, it’s “See I told you there’s a B.”

My cab driver out of nowhere, on the way to the Boston airport: “Anyway, now I gotta turn around and take my fahkin’ kid to the airport”

C'mon Lightning!!!

Next Saturday - June 20! The Bellhouse - Brooklyn, NY Broadway-style Matinee time - 3:30pm! www.thebellhouseny.com/shows

NEXT FRIDAY - June 19! Pittsburgh, PA - BOTTLEROCKET SOCIAL CLUB We can all sing "We Are Family" as my big finish! www.bottlerocketpgh.com

Next week! June 18-20 Cambridge - Pittsburgh - Brooklyn Ticket links at jimmypardo.com

This Saturday, June 13! Pop Cultured- The Game Show is back! UCB Theatre in LA! Great line-up! ucbcomedy.com/show/pop-cul...

Imagine being a grown person... an adult... & putting a "Spencer Pratt For Mayor" on your lawn. MAYOR of the 2nd largest city in the country. We truly have dumB people on this planet!

Of course you aced the cognitive test Don Don, you’d have to be dum not to!

“You’ve been talking about scathing reviews.” www.theguardian.com/tv-and-radio...

BREAKING: The Lincoln Memorial was built by Biden a little after The Lincoln Memorial.

Pop Cultured - The Comedy Game Show is BACK!! June 13 - 7pm @ UCB Theatre in Los Angeles!!! Watch in-person or on-line! ucbcomedy.com/show/pop-cul...

What’s this bullshit about there being a B in dum? What the actual fuck is going on??!!

I turn into Paul Shaffer whenever it’s pet feeding time… “Enjoy, you crazy cats”

Had a great 3 days in the Midwest!! Thanks to the venue staffs & all the folks who attended the Peoria, Indy and Columbus shows!!

You’d think his crazy views on windmills would be enough to impeach him!!