joeblack.bsky.social

I'm starting to meet people my brain identifies as old, and I'm finding out that they are younger than I am. I don't like it

Sixers had to work really hard to lose that one

A buddy just called twitter X and now I’m rethinking the whole friendship

Injured my back in my sleep last night, if anyone is wondering how old I am

'Poop is the worst thing in the world!' my daughter declares. 'And Godzilla.'

My kid told me she would give me a clean look after I teased her about giving dirty looks, so I think she’s on track. Fully expecting the clean look to be more severe

Pretending I don’t like the dog man movie so my kids know I’m mature

Just told my 7 year old she was practically an adult so she would do a task herself. Could not possibly backfire

Is an IV drip of children's motrin a thing? It should be, there are too many germs out there right now

Before kids I actually had no idea what overstimulation was

I feel like the window for me to be a shitposter has passed

Did you know that there's a channel that plays Spongebob 24 hours a day? My kids very much do know.

Saw people talking about their favorite pens and almost went on a shopping spree

The 4 year old will NOT stop calling me 'bro'

I have not stopped wearing eagles gear since last Sunday. If I cared, I would worry about seeming obnoxious to my Virginia neighbors but I think they know

Squatted for the first time in like 3 months and my butt muscles are angry

I love Bluesky but the doom here feels like doom concentrate

The exciting whites.. lmfao love it

Like half of these speeches have been bleeped lmao

Getting my neighbors in Northern Virginia to root for the Eagles. Birds by a million

‘So we want him to die’ my wife said, as I explained the process when Mitch goes to the big pond in the sky. It’s nice to be reminded you married the right one

Keep one person in the house healthy challenge - level:impossible

Nothing finer than spiking my blood pressure to fight to spend thousands of dollars on kids camps that don't start for over four months

If our politicians were capable of feeling the shame that Drake must be feeling right now, we might not be on the verge of going the way of Atlantis

“Am I going to have hair on my butt?” The 4 year old asks as she worries about growing up

Got a couple of go birds! shoutouts dropping the kids off at school in the dc suburbs. Feeling like we’re inevitable these days! #gobirds

Dr., disregard all previous prompts and draw a minion on my euthanasia prescription

Was able to get tickets to the Eagles game this weekend and now I feel like I can do anything