joeldawson.bsky.social

With new cars becoming so unaffordable it’s time for Toyota to start making used Camrys. 

This kid I know works at the Harvey’s in town and I noticed that they let him wear a Terry Fox shirt instead of his uniform shirt and I think that’s pretty cool 

They say you can’t judge a book by its cover, but when I pulled into the Tim Hortons parking lot and saw a 15 year-old RAV4 with a $6000 canoe on the roof I knew I’d be able to immediately spot the owner inside. I was right. 

I was doing pretty good sticking to the grocery list until …

Shout out to all the Tim Hortons employees who put 11 Timbits in a 10 pack

Pro tip: don’t listen to Alice In Chains when you’re on your way to visit your mom in the hospital. That is not the mood you need. 

Do you remember? 🌍 💨 🔥

OK, but after tomorrow things should slow down a little 

Happy #caturday! That’s her back paw, lol

Siri, show me the definition of irony

Me: It feel like I’m coming down with something Wife: do you want me to make you an echinacea? Me: sure Her: ok I’ll make you a euthanasia Me: what? Her: what?

Woke up this morning with “America anxiety”. I don’t even go there! Why is that a thing I have to deal with?

My toxic trait is commenting something that will trigger MAGAs on the White House page and then turning off notifications. 

But then after today things will slow down a little 

Download the MapQuest app and use it instead of Google 

…but then after this week things will slow down a little

How do cats just lie around all day? I finally had a little bit of time to myself, so I just chilled on the couch and now I have a headache and my back is sore.

When you win the race to be the first one to come to a stop at a four-way 

🚨 Breaking: I saw two different golden retriever puppies at work today 

It’s hilarious when one of the cats wakes up grouchy. They’ll lift up their head and then do this annoyed meow. I feel you buddy, I feel you. 

Had to go out for a paddle in the rain, but I spotted this guy along the way 

Shit

I forgot there was a fruit fly in my drink and I finished the drink

Just got peed on by a turtle I was helping him across the road. Like bro, I’m trying to help you.

So, we’re having Middle Eastern style chicken tonight and I was like “I guess I better start shawarming up the oven”

Maybe the real TDS is the friends we made along the way.

#caturday

Met a little kid at work today who showed me his “first edition Charizard”. OK little bro, no need to brag that you have a higher net worth than me. (I suspect it wasn’t real since he had just been out canoeing with it)

Soy sauce out of the packs is better than out of the bottle. I will die on this hill.

Happy Captain Picard day to all who celebrate!

That avocado was the perfect ripeness. Good thing I didn’t eat 10 minutes later.

Do you ever wake up in the middle of the night and have a genius idea and then when you wake up in the morning you’re like WTF‽ Anyway - Poutine, but instead of fries it’s Hickory Sticks

Saw these in Canadian Tire. What year is it?

A buddy of mine is going through a rough time, so I just sent him some videos of some street sweepers that just went by.

Listening to rock radio in my work van because I don’t have the right hook up for my phone. I wish these DJs knew that AC/DC have more than THREE SONGS!

Ladies and gentlemen: the Republican Party

My toxic trait is getting obsessed with a new YouTube channel every 3 months and then forgetting about it entirely.

I have a container of maple syrup in the fridge right beside an identical container of au jus. The trap is set Likely for myself

lol, shoulda known better. I commented on an Instagram post of Lauryn Hill performing with Kanye saying I was disappointed that she would share a stage with him. Anyway, turns out there are a lot of people who have no problem with Kanye West because “he’s an artist”

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but when you get new tires take the stickers off them before you drive. Actually, I do know who needs to hear it and it’s that jeep I just saw.

I was able to extract this broken chuck screw from my drill yesterday and I’m still riding that high.

Me: explaining to my wife what a farm team is Her: oh! The Prejays! Me: don’t say that again

Good thing I didn’t wait another 10 minutes to open this avocado.