Jon Clinch

Breaking: AI assures humans that everything will work out fine.

If you can follow Game of Thrones and The Lord of the Rings and the whole damned Marvel cinematic universe, you can follow Moby-Dick. Trust me.

I know I'm old, because I'm running out of new things to like.

Here's a good example why it pays to read widely. The more tools in your drawer, the more choices you'll have.

When you're accustomed to raping and murdering children one by one, striking a girl's school with a Tomahawk missile is about economies of scale.

We outnumber them.

They're already coming for you and your family.

I really miss cancel culture. #EpsteinFiles

Livingston Taylor is voicing Winnie-the-Pooh in a new movie, and I am here for it.

You can get people off food assistance by making sure their jobs pay a living wage.

Don't forget: Trump isn't composing prompts and generating this AI crap on his own. He's too impaired and stupid for that. It's being fed to him by people who know exactly what they're doing.

BE UNGOVERNABLE. Start on Saturday, but never let up.

Now that the USA is cooked, what should we make to replace it?

Chicago proves once more that Trump is *all about cruelty.* The Epstein files are going to sicken every one of us.

When Philly cops bombed the MOVE house in 1985, the story was everywhere. Nobody's covering this week's assault on innocents in Chicago. That's the difference between what we were and what we've become.

Misery loves company.

I think Trump meant to call himself the Grim Raper.

I would honestly like know why the sell copy for most current fiction focuses on the concealment and revelation of deep, dark, secrets.

If they can shut down the government, we can shut down the whole damned country. General strike now. Let’s go.

I want a one-man show that's nothing but bits of Trump speeches read for alternating hilarity and terror by Brian Cranston in a fat suit.

And here Putin was afraid he'd have to attack American cities. #MissionAccomplished

I present to you a man who has actually been modeling his speech pattern upon that of his favorite imbecile.

Why aren’t we talking about how “dangerous cities” is code for “places where brown people live”?

He might not be hung, but he sure could be hanged. That’s your vocabulary lesson for the day.

The imbecile can't write. Of course he's a dictator.

If you won't obey, they'd like you dead. Hell, they'd like you dead anyway.,

In non-fascism news: Only 2K words until the new ms. is as long as MARLEY.

If only getting the Epstein files were as easy as saying, “Russia, if you’re listening…”

The UN needs a translation channel that turns Trump's words into truth.

That giant ballroom is going to make one heck of a Spirit Halloween Shop.

Sure, sure — we did Jimmy Kimmell. Now let's do somebody nobody knows.

The Rapture, but they were wrong about which direction they'd go.

Disney is building a new "Villains Land," and I think it's a little bit on the nose.

LBJ stole elections, cheated on Lady Bird, escalated Viet Nam, and lifted his beagle up by the ears, but he never went after the Smothers Brothers.

If Charlie Kirk were a first-grader, they wouldn't be giving him a second thought.

Pleading the Fifth Amendment should disqualify you for lying in state in the Capitol. And I'm not only talking about Charlie Kirk.

He's got a funny skin color and you can't understand a word he says. Why hasn't ICE rounded him up yet?

No character study in any songwriter's catalog can surpass James Taylor's glorious "Captain Jim's Drunken Dream." www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uu46...

Keeping me sane, one practice session at a time. (The mute, by the way, is what keeps my wife sane.)

There. Is. No. Last. Straw.

Releasing the Epstein files isn't "a hostile act against the administration" unless the president is a pedophi... Oh, wait a second... Never mind.

While we're redrawing all the state maps, let's redraw the whole country. I suggest splitting it in two.

When we finally figure out how to break this failed country into two parts, what will be the national anthem of the free blue states?

I'm writing a novel about a weak and self-loathing individual who enslaves himself to a seductive monster. After MARLEY, it's my second book for the Trump era.

A few years ago I wrote half of a novel called THE GREAT DIVIDE, about a country split in two. The red states called themselves “USA!” The blue states, “America.” State media in USA! began each day with a reading from The Book of Tweets,” which would now be called “The Book of Truths.” *sigh*

A well-regulated militia? I think the founders were preparing us for this very moment. States at risk need to mobilize their NG troops to block incursions from body-snatched federalized NG troops.

I'm actually seeing Vermonters arguing that we must stop mail-in voting and switch to absentee ballots instead.