Josh Carson

GREYS ANATOMY SHOCKER: Still on air. Seriously.

Wait - at risk of wading into discourse, are people actually *upset* that Dorothy and Wizard of Oz story is happening concurrently with Wicked? Which has been that way for twenty years?

Laurie Strode only had ONE guy trying to kill her for over thirty years. Sidney Prescott has had about ten. At some point she has to wonder if it's her.

I hope Jimmy sends Trump flowers for giving him the most watched episode of late-night television in probably the last five years.

This is some straight-up “What if Michael Scott was President” shit.

Make the planes and cars fuck. Do it. You know you want to.

Hey, remember Kathy Bates’ ridiculous character in Waterboy? That’s our President now!

JD meets with the Buckeyes, ends up destroying their trophy. JD meets with the Pope, Pope dies the next day. JD, I implore you: Set up a meeting with your boss.

"Why am I not in the group chat? EVERYBODY is in the group chat but me! Your wife is in there! The Atlantic is in there! I *thought* we were good friends!"

Well, I didn’t expect to get emotional while watching a documentary about the making of “A Goofy Movie” while on the treadmill, yet here are.

Aimee Lou Wood about to blow-up.

Now if we don't ALL go see Coyote vs ACME, we're going to look like a buncha' assholes.

I hate that I have “Love is Blind” opinions.

That's Die Hard 3. He's remembering Die Hard 3.

Classic Something I’d Do!

Whatever happens next with the James Bond franchise is what will happen to SNL post-Lorne.

Jurassic Park 7 Writers Room.

Does...does the Fantastic Four trailer close-out with a shoutout to the Arrested Development "Fantastic Four" musical?

Man, I can't believe how we used to dress ten years ago.

Well he's totally gonna' die.

Is it just me or is there a real Last-Episode-Before-the-Season-Finale-of-an-HBO-Show energy in the air right now.

Don't get me wrong, the alternative side is absolute garbage, but I don't think the left's "Look at how much we followed the rules" is as effective brag/burn as they seem to think it is.

I’m not going to lie: I really enjoyed the few weeks after my Spotify Wrapped came out cause I was no longer being judged for how many times I listened to Tubthumping.

"Also: It was a movie. That's how they afforded it. That and we didn't think the internet would be a thing in 1990 to obsess over this."

Okay, everybody saying that Jason Bateman plane movie is a better Christmas action movie than Die Hard 2 needs to relax.

CO-WORKER: Hey man, you're usually reading during your lunch break, aren't you? ME: Try to. CO-WORKER: That's cool. I haven't read a book since I graduated. WHAT I WANTED TO SAY: Bet I can guess who you voted for.

No big deal. Just Lt. Governor Peggy Flanagan guest starring as Santa in “A Very Die Hard Christmas.”

28 Days Later -- okay, I'm still fighting. 28 Weeks Later? Ummmmm -- I guess I start asking what we think we're looking to accomplish here. Because it feels like society lost. 28 *Years* Later -- WHY ARE WE STILL DOING THIS!? IT'S OVER! THIS IS HELL! WHY HAVEN'T WE ZOMBIED UP YET!?

His accountant finally got back to him about the Red One damage.

It's time for the annual reminder: Yes, award shows are fun, but the Golden Globes hold no relevance whatsoever.

We watched Hot Frosty tonight and now I’m irrationally angry.

For a song pretty openly about getting someone to sleep with them, there are an awful lot of high school bands playing “Hot to Go” in this parade.

Look, Cynthia and Ariana are obviously amazing, but I think every theater kid, young or old, will tip their hat to Bowen Yang’s Chorus Member Giving It Their All Hoping to Get Noticed.

COUNTERPOINT: That's what books, music and art is for. Additionally, if the other horizon is "being an asshole:" Thanks, we're good.

Just once, I’d like the adults in Cobra Kai to have a moment of self-realization about what they’re doing to win a karate tournament.

Wait…who did she assault?

Hosted and enjoyed a screening of Dirty Rotten Scoundrels last night. Had a great time and was reminded how funny a movie it was. Would we consider this a Hall of Fame for either, or both, Michael Caine and Steve Martin? For the sake of the exercise, let's say Hall of Fame is Top Five movies.

Not to be *that* Minnesotan, but if all this rain had been snow, ‘hoo boy!

The podcast guy!?!?

Somehow, measles returned.

Once again, I feel the need to point out that Peoples Sexiest Man of the Year is not an officially recognized title. Also, one time it was Richard Gere, and when I was working at Blockbuster a woman in line saw the cover and said "He's not sexy! This guy is sexier!" Any excuse to tell that story.

So how’d the election turn out over here?

Just now during the Macy’s Thanksgiving Parade, the commentators described the SpongeBob balloon as “long, hard and difficult to maneuver” and I practically tripped running down the stairs yelling “That’s what she said!” Anyhow, happy Thanksgiving.

People who say cell phones would solve every plot from 80s movies seem to forget that in every 80s movies the characters would have pristine-quality walkie talkies that worked perfectly every time and they didn’t up doing shit.

I'm worried about the online anti-Marvel fanatics. What are they going to base their personalities on now?

While many actors are relieved, many more are annoyed they lost their excuse as to why they’re not working.

I don’t know what’s crazier: That a union has to put “Please don’t replace us with robots” in their contract, or the fact that that issue is a sticking point preventing that contract from being signed.