Were-Jamie

We're in Missouri, so this tracks...

As I do every year, I am once again begging society to come up with a less creepy term for enjoying fall foliage than “leaf peeping.” I just want to admire some pretty trees without sounding like I'm on a registry.

This is so real

Every single person in this wine bar is blonde. Not just blonde. PLATINUM blonde. I'm apparently drinking wine in the Village of the Damned.

This is a pretty cool thing they are doing in Milwaukee in support of the Brewers. I love seeing stuff like this!

My 4:30 flight has been delayed until 4:31. I genuinely wish the airline hadn't bothered to tell me. Seeing the words “YOUR FLIGHT HAS BEEN DELAYED” caused a level of anxiety that a 60-second delay simply does not warrant.

For those of you updating your conversion charts: 2 Zacharias = 1 Scaramucci

Going from 100+ heat indexes to a high of 55 in 3 days is the most St. Louis thing ever... 🙄

Wordle 1,945 2/6 🟩⬛🟩⬛⬛ 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩

I am currently on Pacific time, trying to plan meetings with people who are on Eastern time (who only speak in terms of Eastern time) when I'm back home tomorrow on Central time. My brain is at maximum capacity.

Feeling very thankful I already locked in Southwest's companion pass through the end of next year. Gonna have to enjoy it, because it'll likely be the last time I have it. 😬

Know this: if you unironically refer to Artificial Intelligence as "SI," you're getting blocked.

Damn, Alexa... 😥

I spent three years in law school, passed the bar exam, and got licensed to practice law. Apparently, I could've just asked Donald Trump to declare me an attorney on Truth Social. Really wish someone had mentioned that option.

Good morning, Las Vegas!

Counter point: X is indeed 100% the same dumpster fire it has been in recent memory

Of course, if Trump does fire Kimberly Guilfoyle, it won't be because of the corruption. It'll be because she was corrupt in a ham-handed way, and It embarrassed Trump.

You ever just wandering around the internet, minding your own business, and stumble across something you didn't even know existed but suddenly cannot imagine living without? Anyhoo, they apparently make fireproof skulls for fire pits. 💀🔥

I see Trump has tapped Katie Zacharia as his next White House Press Secretary. Say what you will about the man, but he is nothing if not consistent. 💁‍♂️

Setting aside that livestreaming Nidal Hasan's execution is further evidence that this country has become a dystopian hellscape, handing jihadist extremists footage they can use to glorify a mass murderer as a martyr is spectacularly bad policy. What could possibly go wrong?

On behalf of lawyers everywhere, I am begging you: please stop running your messages through ChatGPT before sending them to your attorney to make them sound more “lawyerly.” Literally begging It does not help. It just makes it harder to figure out what you’re trying to tell us.

It's National Kale Day, a great opportunity to remind everyone that kale is a barely edible garnish that somehow breached containment and ended up in salads. 💁🏻‍♂️

I feel like “bad things” could use some clarification here, Sam. Are we talking inappropriate but ultimately benign boundary-testing, or hacking into the power grid and plunging us all into darkness? Because those two "bad things" are not really the same thing.

I installed some presence sensors in the basement so the lights will automatically turn off when there's no one down there. It continues to register a presence even though none of us (including the cats) have been down there in hours. I live in a really old house. Should I be concerned?

Cleaning out my basement and holy shit, look what I found! Next step: go somewhere highly public and just start unironically scrolling through my music like it's 2002

I am pretty sure that the most used app on my phone these days is my two-factor authenticator.

It's apparently trendy to say that you've never heard the song "Choosing Texas," and I just queued it up expecting to be like, "oh yeah, I know this," but NOPE. Have literally never heard this before. 🤷‍♂ Add me to the list, I guess...

Well,I feel like an idiot Wordle 1,929 X/6 ⬛⬛⬛⬛🟨 ⬛⬛🟨🟩⬛ ⬛🟩⬛🟩🟩 ⬛🟩⬛🟩🟩 ⬛🟩🟩🟩🟩 ⬛🟩🟩🟩🟩

Eric Schmitt, sweet fancy Moses 😬

It's almost time to do the DisTwitter Secret Santa thing. I've been doing it for several years, and I'm ready to pass it on to someone else. So, if anyone is interested in taking it over so it can continue, DM me. Happy to help with the transition/getting the word out this year!

Good morning, St. Louis! 😍

Wordle pulling out some deep cuts this week Wordle 1,926 4/6 🟩🟩⬛⬛⬛ 🟩🟩⬛⬛⬛ 🟩🟩⬛⬛🟩 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩

To the people behind Wordle today: who hurt you? Got it in 4, but I would like the record to reflect that I had never encountered that word in my life before today. Wordle 1,924 4/6 🟨⬛⬛⬛🟩 🟩⬛🟨🟩🟩 🟩🟩⬛🟩🟩 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩

The tv remote is gone, I'm blaming the cats, and I guess we just won't be able to watch tv anymore. 🤷🏻‍♂️

AI companies: “We need to slow down.” Also AI companies: Sept 1: new Claude models Sept 3: new GPT model Sept 22: new Claude model, two new GPT models

Ok, hear me out: an adult pumpkin patch, except it’s indoors, instead of pumpkins there are cocktails, and instead of picking them, you ask someone to make one for you and they do.

Ah, the autumnal equinox. Light and darkness held briefly in balance. Summer recedes, shadows lengthen, and we turn inward to contemplate the passage of time and our oneness with nature. Also, ROGUE RIVER BLUE IS BACK, BABY! [air horn]

Legit thought someone put a container of dice in the produce section

Man, Trump will do anything to help his dwindling approval numbers...

Sure, sex is great, but have you ever woken up at 6 am on a Monday and realized it's actually Sunday and you can go back to sleep?

The mid-inning thing where the crowd puts the hot dog in the bun is the greatest ballpark audience-participation thing ever. I will not be taking questions at this time.

Tonight is a beautiful night for some a Cardinals baseball!

The energy at Ole Miss today waiting for Lane Kiffin to take the field...

You know, it is fall in St. Louis, football is being played, and I am ready to eat some chili, but I simply cannot when it feels like 107 fucking degrees at nearly 5:00 in the afternoon... 🙄

Whenever I worry I’m overreacting or being petty about something, I check Nextdoor for perspective. Turns out I’m doing great.

Are you trying to avoid sugar? Do you buy "no sugar" or "zero sugar" products as a result? Well, I have some bad news...

Mitch McConnell memes? Objectively funny. But seriously, is this real life? Watching an elderly man visibly struggle while everyone around him pretends this is normal is deeply unsettling. The memes are funny. The reality really isn’t.

No.

Up next, Trump declares the Kennedy Center "beyond repair," has it razed before anyone can stop the bulldozers, and then replaces it with a garish golden palace he can name after himself.