Rex A. Jones

The lazy bird’s rise to the top. An Oscar cartoon by Rex A. Jones. Caption: No, you need the exercise. I’m not replacing your ladders with an elevator.

A spooky visit from St. Nick. An Oscar cartoon by Rex A. Jones. Caption: You think I’m scary in October? What’s scary is the prices. I have to trick or treat for Halloween candy for Christmas presents.

Rather off key. An Oscar cartoon by Rex A. Jones. Caption:Dad says that I can be anything I want to be. Well, I want to be a concert pianist, but I can’t even play chopsticks.

When love leaves an aftertaste. An Oscar cartoon by Rex A. Jones. Balloon 1: What’s all the commotion? Why is your dad brushing his teeth again? Balloon 2: I barfed in his mouth. Who knew it was an acquired taste? Balloon 3: Judy, get the iodine! Get the hot water!

Finicky eater. An Oscar cartoon by Rex A. Jones. Caption: It’s like Oscar doesn’t like anything. He throws all his food on the floor. Well, all except anchovy pizza.

Personal hygiene. An Oscar cartoon by Rex A. Jones. Caption: Well, thank you, but have you washed your hands?

One man’s treasure. An Oscar cartoon by Rex A. Jones. Caption: When I feel like having junk food, I chew on Mom’s trashy novels.

One man’s treasure. An Oscar cartoon by Rex A. Jones. Caption: When I feel like having junk food, I chew on Mom’s trashy novels.

Oriental flatware shortage. An Oscar cartoon by Rex A. Jones. Caption: I know you guys are the only parrots that build a nest. But, couldn’t you leave me a few chopsticks so I can eat my Chinese takeout.

No career for a curmudgeon. An Oscar cartoon by Rex A. Jones. Caption: I’m sorry, but you’re just not suited for the job. When someone is having a panic attack, you don’t tell them, “To get over it!”

Help, my fruit seems funny. An Oscar cartoon by Rex A. Jones. Caption: I don’t mean to kvetch, but this apple appears to be genetically modified. First balloon: What’s worse than a worm in your apple? Second balloon: Finding a half eaten worm in your apple.

Digital patsy. An Oscar cartoon by Rex A. Jones. Caption: No, I don’t that AI is responsible for my books being chewed up.

Ignoring the warning signs have shocking consequences. An Oscar cartoon by Rex A. Jones. Caption: Biting wasn’t getting the message across. So I tased him.

Fermented fruit. An Oscar cartoon by Rex A. Jones. Caption: I take it your apple slice was a bit overripe.

A bad day oral assault. An Oscar cartoon by Rex A. Jones. Caption: You might want to stay away from Oscar today. He’s being a bit nippy.

A star is hatched. Cartoon by Rex A. Jones. Caption: Do something cute so I can post the video and make a mint. Balloon: This is cute as it gets Mr. DeMille.

The patter of little beaks. An Oscar cartoon by Rex A. Jones. Caption: I miss the chatter. I should have never given the fids cell phones.

Ancient ruins. An Oscar cartoon by Rex A. Jones. Caption: By the looks of it, the Greeks kept parrots as pets too.

Faulting fabled feline for felling fragile florero. An Oscar cartoon by Rex A. Jones. Caption: Well, I didn’t knock it off. Maybe it was Schrödinger’s cat.

No music gene. An Oscar cartoon by Rex A. Jones. Caption: Your DNA test says you’re descended from raptors, not rappers.

Receding into freedom. An Oscar cartoon by Rex A. Jones. Caption: By the looks of it. If you get any freer you won’t be needing a comb.

Parts are parts or not. An Oscar cartoon by Rex A. Jones. Caption: When someone asks if you’re a leg or breast man. Never day, “drumstick.”

Oriental aesthetics gone awry. An Oscar cartoon by Rex A. Jones. Caption: Yes I do have to throw my food around. The harmony of feng shui demands it.

Gator legal aid. An Oscar cartoon by Rex A. Jones. Caption: I said we needed to add aggressive litigator to the firm.

Too booked up to bother. An Oscar cartoon by Rex A. Jones. Caption: If you want those rings on those pegs. You’re going to have to do it yourself. I’ve got a lot on my plate right now.

An academic error. An Oscar cartoon by Rex A. Jones. Caption: I’m sorry, I could’ve sworn it said it was a parroting class.

Would that be molting or shedding? An Oscar cartoon by Rex A. Jones.  Caption: Don’t deny it! I can tell you’ve been allopreening with that catbird again.

Poupée gonflable d'amour. It sounds better in French. An Oscar cartoon by Rex A. Jones. Caption: It appears that Onslow may be hormonal .

IT chomping. An Oscar cartoon by Rex A. Jones. Caption: Well, if turning it off and turning it back on doesn’t fix the problem. Try biting it.

Following doctor’s orders. An Oscar cartoon by Rex A. Jones. Caption: Chew on some expensive antique furniture, and call me in the morning.

Them fat bottomed girls. An Oscar cartoon by Rex A. Jones. Caption: I wouldn’t put all my eggs in one basket, but I only have one tuckus.

Musical woodworking insects. An Oscar cartoon by Rex A. Jones. Caption: Well, if I had to guess, I’d say they are Karen Carpenter ants.

Surely there’s a loophole. An Oscar cartoon by Rex A. Jones. Caption: I’m sorry, but your dental plan doesn’t cover beak trimming.

No fuel shortages here. And ask her cartoon by Rex A. Jones. Caption: All I said was, since gas prices are up and you seem to have a lot of it. Perhaps you should convert your car to methane.”

Have a meaningful Yom Kippur. Cartoon by Rex A. Jones. Caption: No, the final meal before Yom Kippur is not carb loating. 

Consult your conversation table. An Oscar cartoon by Rex A. Jones. Caption: He says he’s from Canada and he’s not an inchworm. He’s a 2.5 centimeter worm. 

Staying put. An Oscar cartoon by Rex A. Jones. Caption: Well, the reason we don’t migrate is, we’re homebodies.

Sign in faux pas. An Oscar cartoon by Rex A. Jones. Caption: Oscar is angry with Rex, because he didn’t use Oscar’s name as a password.

Ancestral word play. An Oscar cartoon by Rex A. Jones.  Caption: Dad said we are descended from thesauruses.

Out of sight. Out of mind. An Oscar cartoon by Rex A. Jones. Caption: No, we didn’t get a dog. The cone is for me to wear when we go to the pet store. 

Taking the fifth. An Oscar cartoon by Rex A. Jones. Caption: Miles talks, but Uncle Roberto got him from a lawyer. So the only thing he says is, “No comment.”.

Sigmund would’ve been proud. An Oscar cartoon by Rex A. Jones. Caption: Remember, there are no bad parrots. They’re only parrots who make bad choices. 

Shofar, so good. An Oscar cartoon by Rex A. Jones. Caption: Now, if you’re done with that. Burt would like his horn back. 

Shana tova! And ask her cartoon by Rex A. Jones. Caption: The two things Oscar likes best about Rosh Hashanah. Is him tearing apart, pomegranates and making the sound of a shofar. 

Breathe free. An Oscar cartoon by Rex A. Jones. Caption: I’m avoiding the whole boxers or briefs debate. I’m going commando.

What a hoot. An Oscar cartoon by Rex A. Jones. Caption: I keep telling you. It’ whom you idiot.

Happy belated Labor Day. Sorry I uploaded the cartoons out of order. I hope everyone had a good weekend. An Oscar cartoon by Rex A. Jones. Caption: Labor Day doesn’t just mark the end of the summer season, but also when dad‘s eyebrows begin to grow back. 

OK, maybe stretching the truth a little bit here. An Oscar cartoon by Rex A. Jones. Caption: No, Oscar doesn’t bite, as long as you don’t oppose any of his long held political beliefs.

Same old, same old. Don’t do this at home. An Oscar cartoon by Rex A. Jones. Caption: I’m not saying an all pellet diet is boring, but my taste buds fell asleep. 

Sham seafood smackdown. An Oscar got to my Rex A. Jones. Caption: Oscar and I had a slight disagreement about putting vegan anchovies on his pizza.