Kayla’s Version

This was a great day. Cozy fun at home.

I have plans to see @amby.bsky.social next year and I am sooooooooooooooooo happy!!!!! Finding people who love you and will put effort into being around you is absolutely the most life-giving thing. See also @moorewv.bsky.social this weekend 🧡🥰

Drunk texting @amby.bsky.social is second only to being drunk in person with her

Papaw loved masonry work. He took great pride in it and he missed it when he couldn’t do it anymore. The last decades of his life were spent in so much pain and at the end it was so heartbreaking to see his body give up while his mind was perfect.

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Because he wasn’t afraid of heights, he’d cover welding sometimes on his job sites. Ended up with enough hours for certifications but didn’t get it because he didn’t “need” it. He’d find the problem in the building plans and fix it for the highly paid office workers, then he’d go build it.

I went to law school because he didn’t have a door on his house growing up, only made it through fifth grade, and literally broke his back working hard while not making enough money to properly feed everyone (resulting in heart issues I am convinced happened due to malnourishment).

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Despite his pain, he taught me how to do long division on a magna-doodle on his porch swing, how to reload ammo because it was so much cheaper than just buying fresh ammo, and a bunch of silly sayings and songs. He had a very goofy side & would play hide and seek in clothing racks with me at Walmart

I remember when @bexcommunicated.bsky.social said that people showing videos of Animal Crossing builds were playing a different game. I just had that feeling seeing what people are making on Dressmaker. Even if I was using a regular mouse, my brain does not work that way!

Struggling to get myself to do ANYTHING lately, but I am on my way to tap class and I am REALLY proud of myself for that.

16 Sept

Grocery shopped at Aldi while hungry, so I spent the same amount and got more stuff 🥴

12 Sept

OMG I just remembered this story: last week Casson asked me what the holiday coming up next weekend was. I was so confused until he said the Jewish one and then I connected it. He asked if we did anything for it 😂 my little buddy

12 Sept

It’s so weird being in a bestie’s house while they’re gone. Massive urges to cause low key chaos 😂

12 Sept

ANUH and I are meeting at Jacqui’s to get in her hot tub but Jacqui isn’t here. Also missing @amby.bsky.social with my entire heart.

Started to think, “I don’t want to sleep my day away” and then realized that’s ridiculous. Where’s the downside?

Yesterday Casson saw a guy smoking outside of the airport and was like, “Ew.” We discussed the evils of smoking. He said, “And we have to keep the earth clean.” Then he immediately started singing Earth Song ☠️ kids are hilarious

When I have to go wake Connor up I just want to crawl in bed with him and snuggle lol

It always cracks me up to see parents walking their kids to school with an open mug of coffee. It’s like wearing your house slippers out into the gross world.

12 Aug

Me: going home to SLEEP after drop off Also me: blasting GNR on the way to pick up a sausage biscuit

22 July

We’re at the aquarium and stopped by the play area to let the kids burn off energy. I sat beside a mom feeding her 4 month old twins. I said it looks like she had things in hand but I was happy to help if I could. She asked if I wanted to hold a baby. YES IN FACT I DID WANT BABY SNUGS THANK YOU. 🥰🥰🥰

22 July

Grateful to be in the right place at the right time, to be helpful, and to snuggle a precious little buddy. I had been feeling a little run down, so I think it was more for me than for them 😆

21 July

Mommy, me and the rooter are flying! We’re like a rocket! Dollywood was amazing.

19 July

First vacation dinner and I ate so much my belly is throwing off my center of gravity when I walk, like a good Appalachian.

My bestie is a creative genius and her kids are turning 7 and 11 this month. They are have a 7-11 themed party and this is their mini-mart. She is so talented it’s truly disgusting.

I’m rewatching Ted Lasso and I’ve binged season 2 this week and man, it’s an excellent way to process all of my strong feelings about my own life. Like I can feel what the episode is trying to convey and my body is like “ohhhh yes needed to feel this.”

Also, it’s so great to go back and rewatch shows when you get some distance and think about the general public reception of a season. I know a lot of people thought s2 was meh but it was written in a really smart way. People also think that the show is too saccharine but there’s a lot of pain too.

The second act is so hard in both fiction and real life. The journey can be a slog, the meaning unclear, the purpose shaky. You have to go on faith and there are no guarantees. The small wins are absolutely vital.

9 July

My kids are painting watercolors and listening to Michael Jackson. Connor is na na na-ing with gusto to PYT while painting and making a stank face 😂 Renaissance men.

6 July

Me: gonna go to sleep early and wake up rested and have a really nice morning 🧠: won’t you fly hiiiiiggghhhhh freeeeeee biiiiird yeah 🤘🏻🎸🎸🎸🎸🎸🎸🎸🎸🎸🎸🎸🎸🎸 🦅

4 July

This day always makes me think of Papaw, because he called it the Juth of Four-ly. My cousin had it written on a cookie cake ❤️🤍💙

2 July

I am soooooo up for contract work to help my severance + savings stretch longer. Just gotta, ya know, find some.

2 July

Second day of funemployment. Going to an origami hour at the library with bestie and her kids today! Beyond grateful that I have her and others who will keep me from being a sad loser 🧡

30 June

Casson just said bedtime prayers and he asked God to “help all of the artists make good art like the guy who made the Mona Lisa” ☠️

28 June

Got laid off and my last day is this week. Doing a lot of processing. Anyway, if anyone knows of anything that I’d be good for, even part time/contract, please let me know! I am not fussy about the title/role/vertical, I just want to do good work.

28 June

It obviously sucks to go through this. But my hope is that I eventually find a place that appreciates me for who I am. I made a lot of amazing connections with individuals, but I felt that the leadership & place as a whole just tolerated me. I don’t want to fight to be in rooms where I’m not wanted.

28 June

Of course, I still want to make an income, and I understand that it’s not a time to be picky. But I can still hope for respect and to be seen as valuable. I learned a lot there, including how much bandwidth it takes to have to fight to be heard.

16 June

Mom got glow sticks for the boys, now I’m having a rave in my bedroom while they get showers

15 June

Connor went upstairs and then came back down wearing a Mario Halloween costume 😂

15 June

Mfw a dev is confidently incorrect. If I wanted hallucinations I would have asked Claude!

15 June

I need a corporate way to say that one of my strengths is beating something like a piñata when I know it’s sus, even when people have given me confident explanations that end up incorrect - but I don’t have the ability to know they’re incorrect at the time. It’s just fishy and i can’t let it go.

6 June

Watching the mix of people boarding the plane was kind of poetic. All ages and styles. A tall woman carrying a young baby was followed by a small elderly man. Several girls of middle school age. Frat bros greeting the flight attendant, who is an older Black man. Sometimes it’s nice to notice life.

6 June

On the tiny plane at CLT heading home from my team meetup in San Jose. What a week. Cannot wait to snuggle my guys!

2 June

Asked my mom to tell me I couldn’t go on my work trip. Unfortunately that didn’t work 😭 Got to the airport 15 minutes before boarding, at gate 7 minutes before boarding.

23 May

I feel like I’ve been fighting for my life for so many months. I’ve been trying any sort of mental health and nervous system tricks I can find to get more functional. It feels like I make steps forward and get clarity but then whatever I uncover buries me and I have to work through it.

23 May

The clarity also shows me how bad things have been and then I’m overwhelmed by it, as well as some changes I know I need to make in my life which I don’t feel equipped to do rn but delaying just makes it all worse.

23 May

Connor just asked me to play “hiding and peek” 🥰 my little buddy

17 May

It’s so funny when I see myself in the mirror with makeup on and get startled bc i went so many days without it 😂

17 May

I was out for over 3 hours and there is not enough yoga nidra in the world to put me back together after this overstimulation whewwwww.

8 May

Strolling into the little foodfair grocery store right beside the baseball field and getting some potato candy for some elevated concessions 😂

5 May

Guys can you even deal with how cute and grown up my baby is?!