keeeeeeeeeevin

Copenhagen's new French onion dip

If your friend says they're coming over to get the jacket they left at your house but then never show up, they're chilly flakes

Only Claude can judge me.

My 600lb Life Halloween Special

Genesis does what The Phil Collins Big Band don't.

If you're going to get murdered I think it would be the most fun to do it in a creepy location on Halloween

DIY ankle monitor

The most severe case of left handedness we've ever encountered

One a day rabies prevention chewable

Do you mind? I'm trying to do a bit.

Double decker hot dog

Where the fuck did I put my copy of the Magna Carta?

Proud Parent of a Certified Forklift Operator

Disney World tips: If you're in line when the park closes, STAY IN LINE

A box full of bassoons labeled "crap"

This looks like AI, I can tell from some of the pixels and from seeing quite a few AI in my day.

RT if ur a former Spirit Halloween employee who doesn't want to go to Hell when you die

Hüsky Düde

Xtreme Poverty

FM Towns Marty Jannetty

Vintage beef

Spelling beast

Say what you want about Gen Z but you never see them out there just demanding that you give them the talisman

Remember that in order to thaw your 320lb turkey in time for Thanksgiving, you need to put it in the refrigerator TODAY.

I must scream, but I have too many mouths to decide which one to use.

Just picked up a 4 pack of a 0 ABV Blazin' Pumpernickel Horchata Sour Stout, I am officially ready for Game Day

Congrats on taking your 1 millionth piss

The King of Pop Tarts

I think we can all agree that Kash Patel absolutely owns one of those "Female Body Inspector" shirts.

An armadilloist

Happy National Give Yourself a Blowjob Day

Playstacean

No Dogs Over 3 Tons Allowed

Reskeet if you can get it.

Let Sam explain how Dropout got The Don Hertzfeldt Collection... 🍌 @donhertzfeldtfilms.bsky.social

JezzBall is better than Qix

TIL ineffable does not mean the same as unfuckable

Anchovy denialism

Where in the hell is Carmen Sandiego?

Are you stinkin' what I'm stinkin'?

Where do Birdmen come from?

Pizza Knight

Is there anyone who works at CERN @cern.bsky.social who's willing to buy a hat from the gift shop and mail it to me in America in exchange for money?

I heard an electrical engineering joke that was so funny it made me saturate my P-channel

Hair vs. Mask match but due to a mistake in the contract, if the guy with the hair loses he has to start wearing a mask and if the guy with the mask loses he has to shave his head (which no one ever sees)

Since nobody told me, I'm putting this information out there: When you're recovering from a vasectomy, going pee might make you light headed and you might pass out and fall on the floor and scare your family.