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“you can’t afford to always be gods wokest soldier”

my wife said this was me 🥸

The Smell of Paint by Kashiwagi Tsukiko #yuri #yurimanga

boss baby jesus

“have you ever had down syndrome before?” “not to my knowledge?”

🌸 I Don't Know Which is Love

NOT SO PRETTY WHEN I SAY NO

🌸 The Guy She Was Interested in Wasn't a Guy At All

me to my future grandkids: if you love abuelita then you’ll let me take a hit of your weed pen

“charlene tries to kill piglet out of revenge” LMAOOOO

like flowers from a tomb

gas station heroin

life is not a strawberry

Just some months earlier, rescued tiger Maruay only knew a concrete floor and a small cage. This is an uninterrupted minute of Maruay with his beloved ball. [📹 wildlife_friends_foundation] Original post

“interspecies gang alliances”

me at the library: so no one talks in here? haha

At least 100 bees… #comic #diary

“michael dolences”

Saw this lil guy hanging in a car window. Hang in there lil guy. Hang in there everyone.

“suckable fuckable finger toes”

3 wise men eat your heart out

WHY DID IT HAVE TO BE YOU DOLLY WHHHHYYYY

you can’t choose your family, but you can abandon them

feel the breeze through your leg hair ✨

why was this texas roadhouse employee judging me and my texas 9 oz pour of wine at 11:45 am on the lords sunday bitch fuck you

Art by Japanese illustrator Hajime Sorayama (born 1947)

“OB…. original boob”

NOT a cult for legal reasons

i serve for the pleasure of the fire lord

i have certain scars bc i tried to look like something i wasn’t and now i look like this

me using siri: how much is a parmesan cheese wheel? wife: wtf me: these are the kind of questions you ask at our age okay wife: we’re 29

was supposed to be day three but my wife got so concerned about my hormones being so fucked up/starting my period that she was like “please hit your pen”

day two

starting a tolerance break

i got bombed at harvey’s (1980)

pro aging but also pro sunscreen

going to sell my soul to orange vanilla cream m&m’s you want anything ?