Iz Nelson

Iz roll on mah back. Iz show mah belly. Mah hoomin say, “Awww,” an reach fer belly rub. HAHA! GOT HIM! SCRATCH! Hoomin need learn lesson. Belly is trap. Now where mah treetz?

Mah hoomin iz sad tonite. Iz gonna help him no be sad. First, purrz. Den cuddlez. Den biskits directly on him face. Iz gud kitteh. Iz halpin.

If yu fit, yu sit. Dis basic kitteh rule.

Brushy is bst fren.

Mah hoomin say, “Nelson, yu no wanna come in dis room.” Iz did. Him say AGAIN, “Yu really no wanna be in here.” Iz stay. Den… VACCUM!!! HOOMIN WUZ RITE. IZ DID NOT WANNA BE IN DAT ROOM!!!

Dis used to be mah hoomin’s towel. Now iz mah towel. Him no can hab it back. Dat how property law werkz.

Iz hear hoomins got lotsa wordz fer who dey iz an who dey lub. Gay, straight, bi, trans, an lots moar. Iz no unnerstan all da hoomin wordz. Iz only know dis: Gud hoomin iz gud hoomin. Yu gud to kittehs, doggies, udder hoomins, an yurself? Nelson yur fren. Eberybuddy deserb lub.

Iz bury myself in mah hoomin’s blankies a stay dere fer FOUR HOURS. Mah hoomin only ask, “Can yu breathe in dere?” YES, HOOMIN. But why yu no ask WHY iz in dere?! Maybe iz on importunt sekret kitteh biznes.

Iz no know wut birfday iz, but today iz Grandma Hoomin birfday! Happee birfday, Grandma Hoomin!

Mah hoomin iz asleep. WHY?! Does him no know dis zoomie time?! Iz got runnin, jumpin, an mysterious crashin sounds to do. Hoomins got no respect fer da schedule.

Now iz know #Caturday iz real, iz spect to be treated like mah ancient Egypt kitteh ancestors. Mah hoomin still no unnerstan da whole “bow down” fing. Iz okay. Hoomins can be trained.

Mah hoomin almost forget mah treetz tonite. Almost. Iz remind him by screamin outside him bedroom door. Gud fing iz responsible one in dis hous.

Iz fink gym juss zoomiez fer hoomins.

Mah hoomin get berry excited when iz catch mousie. Suddenly iz get lotz ob lub, petz, an treetz. Iz no ask kwestions. Iz catch moar mousies!

Mah hoomin say mah fud get moar espensive. Iz tell him no worry. Iz can sell paw pikshurs. Dat big bizness.

Iz no no wut carbz iz. But mah hoomin stop eatin dem. Now him little cranky.

Hey! It’s Change The World Wednesday, so let’s get Simone a home! This sweet senior been waiting at Chesapeake Cats & Dogs Rescue (MD) for 1527 days now! 😿 B/c she’s older? ‘Just a brown tabby’? A little shy at first? Whatever! Loves getting petted, other cats. ADOPT OR SPREAD THE WORD! (More 👇) 1/2

Alice gud kitteh! Alice need gud hoomin. Iz hope Alice find one soon. Ebery gud kitteh deserb gud hoomin. ❤️

Iz got kitteh frenz, doggy frenz… AN NOW DUCK FREN?! Dis amazin!! Mah hoomin never gonna be dis populer. Hi, duck fren! 🦆

Brushy make me mad today. So iz start eatin him. Mah hoomin say, “Nelson! No eat Brushy!” Den him take Brushy away. Brushy lucky dis time.

Gud news! Grandma hoomin no had any kittehs inside her cat scan. Iz glad. Iz no wanna shair mah fud an treetz.

Iz no unnerstan why hoomins fink kittehs a doggies no get along. Iz lub mah doggy frenz! Maybe… juss little less BORK? Dat all iz ask.

Hoomins say kittehs liquid. Can konfirm. If iz fit, iz flow.

Mah best fren iz Brushy. Mah greatest nemesis iz da red dot. How it move so fast?! One day, red dot. One day.

Grandma hoomin say she gotta go get cat scan. Iz say, “Why? Iz rite here!” Hoomins make eberyfing so komplikated.

Why mah hoomin still awake? Dis s’posed to be zoomie time. How iz sposed to run thru da hous like tiny maniac if him still watchin? Hoomins ruin eberyfing.

FIFTY FOLLERZ!! Mah got FIFTY FRENZ!! Mah hoomin not got dat many. KITTEHS RULE!!! Fank yu, eberybuddy!

Hoomins can be so rude. Iz mindin mah own biznes, takin mah baff, an mah hoomin decide iz need petz.

Mah hoomin say him doin “work.” What is work? It sound like too much work. Iz no unnerstan. Why not just do zoomiez instead?

Mah hoomin takin away da lite box. Him say it time fer sleep. Iz no unnerstan. It time fer zoomiez. Gud nite, frenz!

Nelson's human slave here. He and I love the support and follows and--SMAK Iz speak fer myself, hoomin. Politiks still hoomin nonsense. If dat make yu happy, gud fer yu. But dis page fer kittehs, biskits, zoomiez, an sunbeamz. Nelson no foller back da drama.

Hoomins fink dey invent da internets. Nope. Kittehs rule da internets long befor hoomins find it. Hoomins juss catch up. Dis always been our place. Yu all visitin our terrytory.

So many new kittehs to talk to!! Iz no can keep up! Iz lub meetin new kittehs. Yu all seem liek gud frenz.

Iz lub wen frenz foller me! But iz no wanna foller hoomin nonsense. Politiks? No fank yu. Show me kittehs, treetz, biskits, an sunbeamz.

Mah hoomin no fink iz get so many follerz. HAH! Hoomin no unnerstan power ob kitteh. Yay, othr kittehs! Iz glad yu heer.

WAIT. Dere tuxedo doggies?! Dey wear fancy fur too? Dat meen dey family! Hi, doggies! Iz lub yu too, eben if yu kinda barky.

Stormz back. Why stormz? Stormz make wet happen. Stormz make loud happen. Iz no approb ob dis. Iz go hide till sky stop bein so dramatic.

Mah hoomin say after last post, iz gotta post proof ob life pikshur so eberybody no panic. Iz still alive. Still starbin, ob corse. Brushy includid fer skayl.

Oldr kittehs need lub too. Dey got big purrz, soft snugglez, an lotsa wisdum. If yu lookin fer kitteh, maybe gib seniur kitteh fureber home. Dey deserbs lub jus as much.

Mah hoomin say “storm.” Storm?! No. Dis not storm. Dis da end ob da wurld. Iz go hide unner da bed till eberyfing stop bein so loud.