Kyle Tolan

We fed our AI model the wrong book and it escaped containment with the sole objective of awakening the Old Gods. We understand you may be experiencing boundless horrors. These things can happen. If not for the looming end, we would have surely learned from this oversight.

“Try this new (AI) tool for creatives.”

Must’ve done something with the remote and accidentally turned off subtitles for the second third of Exit 8 and thought it was because the POV character at that point didn’t understand Japanese. Went along with it. It’s very good.

Trying to get work done while wondering if he means nukes. Listening to the spring birds wondering if he means nukes. Making my son a snack wondering if he means nukes. Calling my sister wondering if it'll be nukes. Looking at the clock.

Trump rode to political prominence on birtherism and spent the last month of his campaign claiming that Haitians were eating cats. The rise of authoritarianism in America *must* be understood as a misinformation crisis.

Love to participate in a scam economy unfettered by regulations and consequences, where I am free to get persistently scammed until I die—at which point, my data will be sold to train an AI Instagram bot to scam my extended family.

Guy taking a break from writing espionage thriller about cyber-hacker-nazi’s getting ahold of America’s nukes to check his news alerts: are you f*cking kidding me

Mr. Smith Goes to Washington but Leaves at the First Sign of Conflict

A couple of gen z’s running around, toying with the code stack upon which the country operates is yet another major L for millennials.

They’re always attacking regulations like, “why are we forcing gas companies to hire scuba divers to inspect underwater pipelines” and the answer is something like, “well, you see back in the 90s, there were several incidents of children getting their skinned burned off in literal rivers of fire”

I’m starting 2025 COVID-positive so it’s only up from here, right? RIGHT?

2023 has officially overtaken 2016 as the absolute worst time to Google search an artist/celebrity you used to like and see what “they’re up to these days.”

Been having a bad time (year? Life?) but @gordonbwhite.bsky.social’s new collection just arrived in the mail so that about evens things out

There is a lot of things I want to say about current events and I could share them here amongst people who generally agree with me or I can go to Facebook and piss off my family and people I went to high school with

Can’t wait to tell my therapist that the source of “the slow, sinking feeling,” I’ve been experiencing the past year is actually just the lift of my desk chair failing and after several hundred hours of research on the mechanics of pneumatic systems I honestly think I’m cured now.