Handsome Bigfoot Lawyer

dailymail.co.ukSecret double life of Kristi Noem's crossdressing husband BryonWhile his wife has operated at the highest echelons of US politics, Bryon Noem, 56, has been dressing up as a busty bimbo and paying adult entertainers to talk dirty.

The full article is behind a paywall but even if you don't pay, it's worth a click just to see his absolutely wonky nipples in this crossdressing photo

Chris Ingraham@cingraham.bsky.social

uh, Daily Mail has an absolutely wild story about Kristi Noem's husband that he essentially confirmed to them in a phone call www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article...

31 Mar

His nipples look like Kitty Sanchez's eyes without her glasses

I should be asleep but instead I'm up waiting for dumplings that may never arrive 😔

One time a guy asked me to slap in the face him during, and I said "what?" (cause you wanna make extra sure you heard that right) and he said "like this!" and hit me so hard I lost a contact

BestBoi Alex@alexdualgrey.bsky.social

Slow day at work today so lemme ask the audience: what's the worst hookup you've ever had? 😬

*slap him in the face during. I have no explanation for that mistake, maybe I'm a little dyslexic. Maybe from the slap

As the owner of the preeminent hanky factory in america, I will not stand for this

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I used to work at a company that acquired a small startup that turned out to have no viable product and no concept for how the product would have made money if it existed in the first place, and I dunno I'm just thinking about that for some reason

Pop Base@popbase.tv

OpenAI is shutting down their video app Sora. The platform is used for AI-generated videos.

Just say you look like Christian Bale, dude. Patrick Bateman is a serial killer he played, but just pick something else he's been in, unless you WANT to look like the character and not the actor?

Daramola@izdaramola.bsky.social

I’ve tried to stay out of the more lib brain nonsense that this app houses but I implore you that you cannot allow this man anywhere near the White House

Also, like, yeah, I guess you look alike in that you're both white dudes. Congrats or whatever

I just miss when porn had incomprehensible and complicated plots with multiple characters who never even got naked

youtu.beBoy Band - Just NanceYouTube video by Chris Haigy

Every now and then I think about this lady from a 2002 gay porno, and I hope she's living her absolute best life youtu.be/5-VdWTyYD1s?...

youtu.beBoy Band Catalina Minus Gay SexYouTube video by rawrderder

If you want the context for all these clips, I just realized some dude uploaded the whole thing to YouTube, with all the sex taken out. I love this movie so much youtu.be/JrTu3k0RRK4?...

It's such a shame that the original song they produce a music video at the end isn't ever available at karaoke

I watched the Melania documentary (I'd like to be clear, pirated it) and her party planner gives this energy the entire time

Handsome Bigfoot Lawyer@lighterfandango.bsky.social

If this little bitch ever gets laid again, none of us have done our jobs

The number of times I've gotten angry about not being in a skircle that I later realized I am, in fact, in

It's kinda a shame that no one will see the Melania doc because there's a lot of detestable f-slurs who, like, dress her and plan her parties and stuff, and their faces should be known to all of us

If this little bitch ever gets laid again, none of us have done our jobs

I've decided I won't rest until this guy gets a drink thrown in his face by the college dude he just tried to feel up at a Fire Island house party and he melts like the wicked witch

While we're riding on the back of an apatosaurus 😌

Handsome Bigfoot Lawyer@lighterfandango.bsky.social

9/11 can be stopped by future me, after he gets done railing past me with current me

Guys in porn always act like they've never had sex in their life and they're so excited about the chance

Leo Tolstoy if he sucked dick:

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"If" he sucked dick. Who am I kidding? Tell me you haven't seen this dude at The Eagle a hundred times

22 Mar

Replying to @lighterfandango.bsky.social

I get why they did it, but I don't think the sexually suggestive label needed to be added to this. Just saying'

22 Mar

I missed the Nasty Pig discourse and I had a really good take on it too that would have blown all your freakin' minds, but it's probably too late now ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

22 Mar

I'm not even sure what they're asking for, but I'm sure it sucks

out.comJohn Lithgow almost quit the 'Harry Potter' series over J.K. Rowling's anti-trans viewsThe actor knows that with "every interview I will ever do for the rest of my life, this will come up."

19 Mar

"I knew it felt wrong, thought about it for a long time, and then did it anyway"

Transgender World@transgenderreport.com

John Lithgow almost quit the Harry Potter series over J.K. Rowling's anti-trans views www.out.com/celebs/j... #transgender #trans #LGBTQ #LGBTQIA

The worst part about St Paddy's day is knowing there's a chance my mother will be at literally any bar I might find myself at

She's the like Bad Wolf, if, instead of stepping into the time stream at the heart of the TARDIS, Rose Tyler had put her face in between a glass and an open tap of Harp Lager

I don't think it's a red flag to admit that your mother is a white trash parrothead from Long Island who owns a full-sized plastic beer mug permanently attached to a lanyard decorated with shamrocks that she wears around her neck on this day. We should all expose our traumas; this is mine

I like every single cock and butt that comes across my timeline and then I wonder why I can't open my phone in public

I feel like Fallout: New Vegas missed a joke by not having you find a car with Pete and Pete's family in it as skeletons near the Hoover Dam

You could get a special helmet that's, either little Pete's hat or the mom's metal plate

Handsome Bigfoot Lawyer reposted

CJ Fogler

@cjzero.bsky.social

"No to war... and free Palestine" Javier Bardem

Watching Weapons on the plane because of the win, and does PEP just not exist in this universe?

I should say "re-watching Weapons for the third time" really

Watching Weapons on the plane because of the win, and does PEP just not exist in this universe?

Dude is so freaked out and, like, just go to the doctor. We live in 2026

I mean, cops are f-ing stupid, so this does track

If this was how they did it, chiropractors would get my respect

baby deathstrike@boyboyhenyo.bsky.social

dicked down in a way that fully realigned me physically, mentally, and spiritually 💕

Insanely fucking hot

i’m just ken@shepardcdr.bsky.social

insane image

It's weird how many people claim to have a favorite DJ

Every time someone has me listen to a DJ I think "yeah, okay, that sounds fine too"

The hottest of the muppets?!?!!! Take the compliment my dude

Kevin@kkova811.bsky.social

Was just told I have Sam the Eagle energy

I'm surprised no one's said Christmas Present

Feeling so hard rn for the one guy in his group of friends too polite to not get stuck listening to the most boring man in the world loudly describe the intricacies of his job

Everyone else has managed to drift away into their own conversations, but he's there pleading with his eyes for one of them to save him and they're all like "you're on your own, buddy" and I've been him so many times

The hottest of the muppets?!?!!! Take the compliment my dude

Kevin@kkova811.bsky.social

Was just told I have Sam the Eagle energy