Lost Turntable

Dealing with immigration over the phone to both test my anxiety meds and do something scary for Halloween.

I've gotten in the habit of telling people in these positions things like, "this is why immigrants laugh at your systems, every country is better than Japan at this" or "you refuse to update this just because your government is racist," "you're hurting immigrants with your outdated systems"

Dealing with immigration over the phone to both test my anxiety meds and do something scary for Halloween.

They don't have me going around in circles, they got me in an infinite loop or some made up HP Lovecraft geometry that drives men insane.

Dealing with immigration over the phone to both test my anxiety meds and do something scary for Halloween.

Haven't posted today but just want to let everyone know I'm doing okay.

I can speak Japanese to these fuckers, use Google translate, or even ChatGPT and they rarely understand me. I wonder if they actually understand Japanese too?

Haven't posted today but just want to let everyone know I'm doing okay.

Buying more Viking metal

Braindead engagement bait

One of my workers smells like cat piss EVERYDAY and I'm not in the mood. If I don't stabilize soon I'm just gonna come in with a gallon of febreeze and pour on the stinky witch's head.

Last day on this terrible benzo taper that's not working. Either time for massive change or I'm honestly gonna have to get hospitalized for my own protection.

Intrusive thoughts come in like someone has then delivered saying shit like "mix all your meds with whiskey it'll be fun".

I woke up today every upset because a PT technique that's supposed to help with my sleep has yet to work. Resulting in another night of fragmented, confusing sleep.

Twice in a week's time friends have had to convince me not to mix my multiple benzos and bottles of whiskey. I'm getting really fed up with everything my body wants to dish out to me. And I'm no longer optimistic about the future, I'm terrified about what my body might decide to do to me next.

I woke up today every upset because a PT technique that's supposed to help with my sleep has yet to work. Resulting in another night of fragmented, confusing sleep.

They give me an emergency suppository NSAID and do some weird magnetic charge therapy that helps a bit. Prescribe more NSAIDs and some muscle relaxants. They don't bother to tell me how long this will last, but the internet says a week or so.

I woke up today every upset because a PT technique that's supposed to help with my sleep has yet to work. Resulting in another night of fragmented, confusing sleep.

The boyfriend and I manage to find a doctor open. He said that taking off my jacket in the small stall probably triggered a muscle spasm. Fun fact. A spasm doesn't always have to be a short, sharp pain. It can be a sudden contraction that causes intense pain over a large area of of your body.

I woke up today every upset because a PT technique that's supposed to help with my sleep has yet to work. Resulting in another night of fragmented, confusing sleep.

At the Disk Union I had to use the restroom, took of my jacket, immediate muscle pain in my shoulder. It quickly moves down my side and up to my neck. I can barely walk.

I woke up today every upset because a PT technique that's supposed to help with my sleep has yet to work. Resulting in another night of fragmented, confusing sleep.

The benzo taper makes me extra sensitive, so I had a good 20 minute emotional breakdown this morning. That was fun. But I thought i should go out and go somewhere, get some fresh air. Bad thoughts have been going through my head again. Figured I'd go to a far away Disk Union.

Today sure was fun until I got a sudden extreme pain in my shoulder and neck that's so bad I can barely breathe

So sick of living

Very bad mental health morning. But I'll be okay. Kuma and I are gonna go shopping. (It's raining so he's in my backpack,I can't hold him but I know he's there and it helps).

Kuma says hi

Sigh wish I had Kuma today