Luke (verified)

Hey! We noticed you from across the pool. We really like your vibe.

good morning

how will my fans find me? you’ll hear from my legal team.

jfc i slept terribly, gm

good evening

Do you think Minaj had a mental health episode leading to her tanking her career to support a nazi rapist, like Kanye, or do we believe she’s just a genuine piece of shit?

pop off lula

Watching Airbnb hosts meltdown over the new rules is a good source of entertainment.

my entire brand

uranus

Well. The bush track I hike constantly is now closed for a month while our local council does whatever it is they’re doing to it. Now I have to go elsweyr to take my hill pics, I mean, exercise. 🫡

good morning

it’s that me eggs presso

We just started the latest season of GBBO after we finally finished GABO and I forgot @nigella.bsky.social was in this season. What a breath of fresh air. She’s so wonderful. 😭😍

Microwave. (you know exactly how this is pronounced)

good evening

The political class and their billionaire financial backers need to pay very close attention to the riots in France and across the world. There will be much more of this while they continue to ruin this world and create poor conditions for the 99.9% that are trying to just live in peace.

crikey

Watching a hawk glide and just thermal on what to me feels like cool still air is wild. It’s so effortless to them. 😍

Trying to leave the house and this twink won’t vacate the driveway.

soulja boy:

Why do I need to climb the hill? Can’t the hill climb me¿

good morning

Do you think Claudia Winkleman cuts her own hair? It kinda looks like it.

spacex announced a new rocket today

Baffling Bezos isn’t calling his rockets Shuttlecocks tbh.

somebodies sun

The contestants on traitors are always like “xyz ive written your name, im sorry its nothing personal, I actually love you so much”. Yes girl. It’s a game. It’s not like “I wrote your name because I fkn hate you and that top is ugly”.

I’ve been verified now.

Ideas for Epstein Island. They could convert it into a prison where they could house Trump and his associates after the election. At least they’d know their way around it.

I heard you queers like pits.

The way I think Elizabeth Holmes should have a TV show called Elizabeth’s Homes where she tours some of her favourite homes and shows you everything.

bloomfs reading my skeets when im on my shit again

Scott Lang when his suit malfunctions

I own the hashtag #Luke just by the way. I do not authorise its use without prior permission.

Bath was so good. I soaked harder than a Mormon at a social event.

Give me four versions of yourself

I’m not working when the votes are being counted for the US midterms and I’m so excited. I love watching an election count unfold live. This one is a big one, either a huge turning, point or a funeral.

In bloomfs media tab.

Mariah Carey announcing it’s time

Who’s out there just raw dogging the Following feed?

Well that’s lucky, because I am a worm!

when they ask claude to make it

uncle slam

Me: I’m a doctor of… James: You don’t have a doctorate, Luke. Me: Yes I do, it’s honorary. James: From where? Dumb bitch university? THIS is what I deal with.

The only Bluesky group chat I’m a member of is one with all of your dads.