Marcus-bo-MacKenzie

This email could’ve been a rap battle.

Mother Earth, Father Sky, Sister Moon, and Second Cousin Twice Removed Asteroid 2010 TK7

Even though watching Mike Flanagan’s Carrie was my first time seeing any version of it, I was aware of the shower scene & what happens there. I was disappointed that it wasn’t like in my head where the girls sing “Plug it up” to the tune of the Glade Air Freshener jingle.

The pyramid depicting the hierarchy of needs has been purchased by private capital, and the esteem and self actualization tiers are now premium features.

Bot test You're in a desert. You look down and see a tortoise crawling towards you. You flip the tortoise over on its back. The tortoise lays on its back, belly baking in the hot sun, beating its legs, trying to turn itself over but it can't. You're not helping. Why is that?

Got a copy of the movie poster for one of my favourite movies, ‘Gaslamp.’ It’s the origin, as you may know, of the term ‘gaslamping’

“I’m not the least bit aroused,” she said drily.

"Exit, pursued by a bear” Antigonus, aside: Methinks the lasses speak true, ‘tis most preferable.

A network TV series where an aging Joanie Cunningham has sadly become a compulsive hoarder New this fall: ‘Joanie Loves Tchotchkes’ If you get this joke, don’t forget to schedule your colonoscopy.

In real life: invasive species thrive because they have no natural predators Sci-fi novels: EVERYTHING ON THIS ALIEN PLANET IS TRYING TO KILL US!!!

A meeting of Ear, Nose, and Throat doctors should be called an ENTmoot.

Cenobite : We have such sights to show you 😈 [cut to cenobites and you on top of a hop-on double decker tour bus, animatedly pointing out things]

Yet another of the wrong 80 year olds have died. #RIPTimCurry

Free idea for a computer themed drag queen name: Charles Boobage.

Stop by the awesome feed of @theanastasia.bsky.social , enjoy the content, and wish her a happy birthday! You will be glad you did (and she’ll be too) Also be sure to check out her hilarious web comic, @capybarasatwork.bsky.social

[looks down at open wallet with a single moth fluttering out of it in one hand, and structured settlement agreement in the other] If only there was an 877 phone number that could help with this situation …

I’m replacing the word “onerous” with “onanous” when talking with others at work. Just, quite appropriately, to amuse myself.

“Quesadilla” is Spanish for “what sadilla“

Face Off 2: Face On Tag line: “Two Face, Too Furious”

Wife: How many animatronic Jack Sparrows are there on the Pirates of the Caribbean ride at Disney world? Three? Me: Yes, and there would have been more but the ride designers were … out of their Depps. I’ll be chasing this pun high for a long time.

When a French person gets hurt they get a la boo-boo.

An increasingly confused Trump has now shifted from blaming Vandals for the reflecting pool damage to blaming the Visigoths.

When your butt gets big from too much bread, that called a Glutinous Maximus

Erm, the verb tense is wrong! I am still reporting #yegbike traffic, but now it’s Tuesdays on @marcmack.bsky.social’s Toast Marketing Board at 8 am. Starting August 4, we’ll be doing a book review on Jane Jacob’s “Dark Age Ahead”

How long do you think the British Museum will remain in business now that AI took over its job of stealing art I’m worried you guys.

Never trust an iceberg when it says “Just the tip”

People say they’re using the Socratic method, but fail to drink hemlock. Weak.

Double entendres now 50% off!

The existence of smash burgers implies the existence of pass burgers.

Who decided to call it the matriarchy, and not the punani state?

The final on the French literature test is just not giggling when you say Honoré de Balzac.

When you think about it, the Donner party was kind of a pot luck.

Keep your food for thought, I’ll stick to my beverages for feelings.

“Love isn’t a noun. It’s a verb,” I said. But apparently it’s both, so I only got half marks on that question.

Nevertheless he persistently mansplained.

They say there are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing matters, and the other is as though everything does. But they were all of them deceived, for another way to live your life was made, forged in secret, a master way to live your life to control all others.

Hey! I interviewed John Linnell of They Might Be Giants! The interview was to air last week, but it was delayed to April 21, at ~7:20 am MDT (that’s 6:20 am PDT, 9:20 EDT, and I’ll rely on you to do other math as needed). Tune in at 88.5 fm in #yeg or listen live at CJSR. com

A brief promotional statement about a small European country is called a Luxemblurb.

What’s the Dow at now, PAM?!

The manosphere is neither a sphere, nor populated by men. Follow me for more fun facts!

Next time anyone shows you pictures of their new baby, just scoff, say “AI,” and turn away.

Eyelets are the window to the sole.

“Olil,” Yoda texted back to my funny meme

My meagre photoshopping skills on full display!

A new app for people who ostensibly speak English as their one and only language, but somehow still haven’t mastered it: Monolingo

This Wikipedia page on Lepoidae has really lead me down a rabbit hole.

In Canada, we call it the 914.4 meter stare.

You know when a work meeting ends early and your boss says, "I'll give you back your time"? I found out what not to reply is, "What about my soul?"