Rex Masters

Tonight’s family movie is The Song of Bernadette from 1943. Rather strange to see a religious movie with Vincent Price in it. 😂

I friend of mine has a squirrel that brings them tacos. I wish I had Jessie’s squirrel 🐿️

Here’s a real obscure movie reference, I bet someone will get it. Faa, Faa Loves Paa ! I cry everytime I see it

I have a joke about witch’s and their brooms 🧹 but it’s crude and I don’t usually post those. Should I ?

What did one tectonic plate say to the other tectonic plate when it bumped into it ? Sorry, my fault

What medicine do witches use on their warts ? I don’t know but it’s not working 🤣😂

In this remarkable age of democracy we must remember the time a Thousand Islands got together to name a salad dressing

I’m a changed man, my dentist told me this is going to hurt. . . I’ve been sleeping with your wife

A friend of mine just moved to a wooded area, there is a corn field a few hundred feet away and hearing a large drone flying around is not unusual. However he had one flying around his house late at night looking into windows. What should he do ? It’s illegal to shoot one.

Control tower to small plane “Can you give us a good idea of your location?” I’m near a large cloud that looks like a lion “Can you be more specific?” It looks like Simba

Why do sharks live in salt water ? Because pepper makes them sneeze

A piece of rope walks into a bar and orders a drink. Hey ! We don’t serve rope in here ! The rope goes out and ties himself up and unravels one end. He goes back in the bar and try’s again. Hey ! I told you we don’t serve rope in here ! Sorry but I’m not rope ! You are ! I’m a frayed knot

Years ago if you saw someone outside in their pajamas it usually meant their house was on fire 🔥 Now it just means they are going to Walmart

My grandfather worked 40 years in a brewery despite having only one leg. He was in charge of hops

The Who’s old tour bus just broke down and won’t be repaired, so . . . It won’t get refueled again ! 🎶 🤣

Historians say Napoleon didn’t design that coat he’s always portrayed wearing but I bet he had a hand in it.

Just read a book on how to install lightbulbs, there’s a great twist at the end

The family movie today was the film from 1962 What Ever Happened to Baby Jane. We will probably not sleep well tonight.

What’s Cookie Monster’s favorite band ? Oreo Speedwagon

You know ballerinas dance on their tippy toes but I don’t know why they just don’t get taller dancers

Hey it’s International Sloth 🦥 Day ! Slowly waves to all the sloths out there

Do you know the maximum age a man can have a circumcision ? Just wondering if there is a cut off date ? 😂

What do you say when skeletons go on a cruise ? Bonevoyage !

Why can’t Frankenstein’s monster have any kids ? Because his nuts are on his neck

Tonight’s family movie is an old time favorite and quite possibly the best film Mel Brooks has ever made. Young Frankenstein

My home town had a Halloween parade this afternoon. I didn’t go, everyone wants gore n stuff, cute dogs apparently are passé 

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Hey mister those are a nice pair of dogs, are they Jack Russell’s ? NO ! They are my dogs

I was told that after my vasectomy I wouldn’t have kids anymore. Imagine my shock when I got home and they were still there 😂🤣

There’s a new study that ketchup and mustard may be the worst condiments for your health. It’s from the Mayo Clinic so it sus 😂🤣

Tonight’s movie was Rear Window, the movie that made me stop neighbor watching 😂🤣. Next is the musical Brigadoon.

Went out searching for buttons and Velcro today. I’m just looking for closure.

The doctor told me you can actually hear the blood flowing in your body but you have listen varicolsely

The wife and I went to Home Depot to buy a broom. At the checkout the clerk said I’m sorry but we don’t have a bag large enough for it. I said it’s ok, she’ll just ride it home. Then the fight started. 😂🤣😂🤣

Gosh last week the hotel workers threatened to strike now next week the orthodontists are threatening to strike so brace yourselves 😂

At least three actors in the 1962 To Kill a Mockingbird went on to be in episodes of Star Trek TOS. The judge, the sheriff and the kid that played Dill Harris.

Tonight’s family movie is the excellent film, To Kill a Mockingbird. One of the best.

Fully-grown deer do not normally dip leaves, twigs, or acorns into a pot of melted cheese, but their fawndue.

How does anyone know their bagpipes need tuning ?

A golden retriever at the vets; I have 4 armpits and you want to take my temperature where ?

I went to the beauty parlor the other day, I told her to make me sexy looking. She started drinking

My Roomba beat me to a Cheeto I dropped on the floor last night, this is how the war with the machines starts

🎶 Potatoes and Molasses 🎶

We already watched 9 to 5 the other week so tonight’s family movie to remember Dolly Parton is Steel Magnolias

Two clown cars collided on the interstate this morning, 47 people were injured

What do Eskimos get from sitting on the ice too long ? Polaroids

There is one thing that really scares me at Halloween. Witch is ? Yes, exactly

Love this artwork at the library coffee shop. See the adorable dog pumpkin 🎃?

I was up in my attic the other day and found a 80 year old painting. I said, grandpa what you doing up here ? Go back downstairs to your rocker