Matt Andrews

Every time I watch Bake Off I find myself getting irrationally angry at how little the presenters know about food. Paul Hollywood, "the bread man", just confirmed he doesn't know what a fucking banh mi is.

In 2008, my first job out of uni was working for a local magazine as a graphic designer. I had no design qualifications or training but I could use Photoshop and taught myself Adobe InDesign, so I blagged a job. A month or two in, my boss quit and I somehow became the Head of Design, aged of 21.

I'd spent so long cutting out the flamingo that I wasn't prepared to throw the image away. So I found a way to sneak it into print. Who's this blurry character in the football stadium?

In 2008, my first job out of uni was working for a local magazine as a graphic designer. I had no design qualifications or training but I could use Photoshop and taught myself Adobe InDesign, so I blagged a job. A month or two in, my boss quit and I somehow became the Head of Design, aged of 21.

The editor saw it, and quite rightly protested that we couldn't feature a flamingo as the cover star. I was angry: the layout was good and the image was strong. But suddenly: we got an exclusive interview with Michael Sheen about his new film, and we had a new cover star.

In 2008, my first job out of uni was working for a local magazine as a graphic designer. I had no design qualifications or training but I could use Photoshop and taught myself Adobe InDesign, so I blagged a job. A month or two in, my boss quit and I somehow became the Head of Design, aged of 21.

I started out doing page layout but within months I was doing the magazine cover. I forgot to include the barcode for one print run which cost £500 in unusable copies. Probably a significant proportion of revenue, in hindsight.

Woke up naturally at 7am (eg. without child "assistance") and as soon as I stepped outside the bedroom, my 7 year old bounded over, in full school uniform, to proudly tell me he'd brushed his teeth, had breakfast and packed his school bag. He was even wearing his shoes. Is this heaven? Did I die?

For my 40th birthday last month, my mum proudly handed me a large box of every childhood school exercise book I wrote in, every birthday card I ever sent her, old gig tickets I thought I lost, handprint paintings from my infancy, letters to/from grandparents I barely remember writing or reading.

Wondering when we'll start seeing content-based sites discover that building the entire thing with a reactive framework when the website is completely static might incur performance penalties and developer experience drawbacks too

Took the kids to the library this morning and was immediately trolled

Two weeks into a failed bank transfer and I'm at the stage of opening a live chat with both source and destination banks so I can be the middleman and play them off against each other for an answer

I know I shouldn't be taking the bait here but I cannot believe that reactionary Christians are apparently offended that Aslan will be voiced by a woman in the new Narnia films. HE'S ALREADY BEING REPRESENTED AS A FUCKING LION, DON'T YOU PEOPLE UNDERSTAND ALLEGORY

Just saw another dad the same age as me doing the school pickup on a vintage steel frame road bike just like mine and now I feel like I have to move house all over again; this postcode's too small for us both etc

Wrote a song about divorce on my new EP and when I first played it for my partner I put it on and left the room while she listened. Only realised after how terrible this looked: we're not getting divorced! But I didn't want to stand awkwardly watching her listen. open.spotify.com/track/0YvaRn...

Some working class ASMR for you

Millennial dads, I'm begging you, stop this madness