Matt M.

I just farted and my dogs in the other room started barking in response. 🫢

Gonna go see “you can see everything”. If part of the everything isn’t Nathan fielder full frontal, I’m demanding my money back.

I think the worst part about the H3h3 podcast ending the way it did is that I know Hasan Piker won’t be doing a victory lap over it.

Has Chuck Schumer weighed in on the White House planning to broadcast a man’s murder? No? 🤔 Has Jakeem Jeffries? Nothing, you say? Odd…. How about any democrat? Hello?

Mike Rogers is a corporate sellout who moves back to Michigan every few years to run for office to take another swing at the revolving door of corporate politics.

Nice campaign by the Norwegian Consumer Council about the declining lifespan of products. Enjoy!

The new Back to the Future idea: Marty goes back in time to 2001 and somehow redirects United 93 into Trump Tower; he comes back to a utopia under president Bernie’s fourth term.

You’re a goddamn liar and you know it, Fortune cookie.

Tim Curry was always a real one.

I forgot James Carville’s name, but all I had to do was search for “Cajun Skeletor”. Seems everyone’s on the same page about that piece of shit.

DonOLD Trump

I wonder if years from now, when all this shit is over and in the history books, the name Donald will be as socially taboo a name to give to your kids as Adolph was after 1945. 🤔🤔

I thought the timing of his last words was the funniest part of this whole thing. Until today. www.yahoo.com/news/us/arti...

www.dailymail.com/news/article...

If you’re looking after a grandparent or elderly parent and you need a break, plop them down in front of the Bob Ross channel on Tubi. I promise you, they’ll be out like a light before he finishes that third tree.

There needs to be an over the counter substance that makes you more sociable but also able to drive a car.

I just need Christopher Nolan to answer ONE question: was the decision to have your entire cast speak in American accents because Matt Damon, as the lead, couldn’t do a British accent? It’s okay, Chris: this is a safe space.

Do you lose your gold-star gay status if you make out with a lady while sharing an Uber? ….asking for a friend.

America needs to be sent to bed without its supper this July 4th.

Who do I blame for me constantly confusing Uwe Boll, who is awful, with Udo Kier, who was a delight? I know there is an external force to blame for this.

Why am I seeing all these posts about Taylor Swift and whatever his name is donating less than 2% of their net worth? Is that the going price Tag for goodwill nowadays?

My Kalshi bet is that there’s a high likelihood that the PlayStation 6 is still in the cards, but the PlayStation 7 has been effectively jacked off into a discarded tissue

Who says Romance is dead? www.huffpost.com/entry/lgbtq-...

In regard to the LAPD murdering a homeowner’s dog, white people (including myself) should keep this energy when any black person is killed by the police. The police have killed 553 this year SO FAR. Black people are 2.8x times more likely to be killed by the police than white people.

When Trump dies, I demand an autopsy. I want to know just how Swiss cheesed his brain was at the end.

Yo, I don’t think socialism is gonna be able to save this country again.

Georgia Power is using eminent domain on 330+ properties for power lines linked to Project Sail, a massive 829-acre data center campus. They claim it’s for grid strength, but we must unite to stop these mass surveillance centers & save our future.

"Promised amenities, including a restaurant bunker, a pool bunker and a horse-stable bunker, have yet to materialize." www.wsj.com/us-news/a-lu...

Am I the only one who doesn’t feel bad that the White House, famously built with slave labor, is being systematically dismantled by Trump in what can only be called an overly blatant act of ironic metaphor?

Again, please share. In every aspect of American history you will run smack dab into the critical contributions of Black people. It’s not Black history. It’s American history. Trying to erase it is a fool’s errand. We live it every day. time.com/5836444/blac...

If the federal government wants my 2026 taxes, they can take it from the money they gave to Trump when they settled his lawsuit with the IRS.

Same picture

Nothing can prepare you for who's singing this National Anthem (via lpaulfranklin / TT)

Can’t wait for the next episode of Respect the Dead @caelan.bsky.social

When you play spin the bottle with a straight guy

Thank you to the night shift for your incredible work, tonight and every night.

If wrestling isn't real, then explain this.

Elizabeth Banks

Why have they not moved to recall Fetterman?

If you say this, there really is no hope for you.

In honor of an American hero…#lemonpoundcake

First Amendment violation, Brendan. I wonder if a class-action lawsuit (with 320 million of us being the injured class) might change your mind. Do this and ALL of us will see you in court.

There’s no way this wasn’t intentional. #pokopia #demolitionman #3seashells

Watched Pillion last night. Great movie. 9/10. I’m taking a point off for the theater full of hooting morons who cheered and catcalled when Skarsgaard pulled out his dick. Let me enjoy cock on the big screen in the silence like god intended.

The reason why we are in a right wing death spiral is because the Dems view decorum as more important than putting cretins like this guy and his boss behind bars where they belong.

the reason people sometimes act madder at democrats than republicans when republicans do impossibly evil shit is the same reason why, if you hired an exterminator to handle a roach infestation and he showed up to feed and play with them instead, your first instinct wouldn’t be to yell at the roaches