Max

I think there might be an extraterrestrial alien being in my driveway. not moving at all look like it got dried up like a raisin

Looks like I’m not be able to stream any moire guys :/

Discovered some crazy new tech for Fortnite Skybrick Tycoon 2… and before you ask, IT’S TOP SECRET!!!

how to stop birds from eat cat food . wild bird s

@espn.com @nba.com can yall PLEASE put this on ABC instead of 3 reruns of “R.J.DECKER”!

🙋Who else remember when Kramer said this??❓😂 🤣

The deeper you dig, the worse it gets with this guy…

I have created a prototype for a feature I am tentatively calling “Seinfeld Simulator”. My idea is that viewers will control the characters to help me create new Seinfeld where I am a guest. In the meantime here is a preview video.

INVESTIGATE THE NBA @FBI.GOV @POLICE @INDEPENDENTTHIRDPARTIRS

They got a new Grogu Meat Whooper at Burger King

This wasn’t me. I also did not successfully use its capabilities to target my enemies

BREAKING: I have been named Chief Max at Apple, effective immediately.

@kenjennings.bsky.social PLEASE consider removing the “Bankrupt” wedges from the wheel. It’s cruel to the contestants

Is it possible that there is someone called Role Model who is also known as Tucker Pillsbury.

Reminder to use your free McDonald's Monopoly food rewards by end of day November 23rd. I have like 50 food items to use in 2 days. $10 Best Buy certificate must be used by December 31st

Free McDonald’s Apple Pie or Small Fries (ARV: $1.79-$2.59) 1D34T1W3RDNR enter in app. More giveaway on Twitch.tv/maxhjc :Flanders

I would like to join the cast of SNL but I don’t want to move to New York or appear on camera. But I think accommodations to me ought to be made @lornemicahels.nbc.com

ENOUGH! The time has come for me to create my own Social Network.

Serebii Reminder: The Pokémon Scarlet & Violet distributions for Shiny Wo-Chien, Shiny Chien-Pao, Shiny Ting-Lu and Shiny Chi-Yu are set to end on Tuesday, September 30th at 23:59 UTC Be sure to download them while you can Details @ www.serebii.net/scarletviole...

I just want to say based on recent experiences, hats off to Luis. In my opinion this is very difficult to do guinnessworldrecords.com/world-record...

Everyone please be advised there’s a 50¢ Double Cheeseburger in McDonald’s app today only at participating locations #ad #McDonaldsAmbassador

I’m not pleased to learn that 491 is a prime number at the moment. But I think my perspective on this will evolve in the future.

@cabel.panic.com @panic.com @househouse.bsky.social

We’re updating our terms of use. 🔫 Pray we don’t update them any further.

Science fiction expands the boundaries of our collective imagination with unconventional ideas and bold questions. Like what if there were a really big bug

I am seeking to harness the potential of crystals to obtain absolute power.

If you light up a dark room by striking a match and the first thing you see is a barrel full of fireworks, dynamite, gunpowder etc. You’re toast

HALIBURTON. CALLED. GAME!!! 🔥🔥🔥

THE FUBALS

@benstiller.redhour.com please if you have a ticket to game 6. May I have it.

Mid 2000s Toyota Camry parked by me today sounded exactly like podracer @georgelucas.bsky.social @benburtt28.bsky.social

If I were to stick a fork in an outlet while wearing a big hat do you think the hat would fly off

THIS AINT A JOKE ANY MORE MR PRESDIENT. STAND DOWN IMMEIDATPEY

@nintendo.co.jp 助けてください！スーパースマッシュブラザーズアルティメットの120fpsアップデートをリリースしてください、お願いします！

A great use of computers is to copy and modify files on disks.

Due to the actions of @jeffbezos13.bsky.social today I announced to the staff at MaxCorp my intent to begin a news division, called “NewsMax”. I made clear that any feedback on this plan would result in immediate termination and that all due diligence must be forgone in the interest of haste.

My guardian angel Gerald, upon witnessing my loved ones’ greatly improved well-being while shepherding me through a vision of Earth where I never existed and reestimating the chances of finding anything worse for my absence to be near zero: “Let’s… let’s keep moving…”