Ari Flows

Has anyone seen my turtle? He’s been missing for 78 days. He’s an awful turtle, but I can’t replace him until I find him.

Mitch McConnell should not be trending on blue sky until he is OFFICIALLY dead. Anything else is just getting my blood pressure up.

I’m a simple person. I see Donald Trump trending at #1 on blue sky, I start praying for it to be The Day.

Someone explain this to me about Elon Musk: how is this man nearly a trillionaire with several businesses that are at best surviving (SpaceX?) and at worst a danger to its’ customers (Cybertruck, X)?

FUCK YES JAVIER BARDEM, YOU ARE A REAL ONE

Copy Paste Repost Trend #EpsteinFiles #EpsteinFiles #EpsteinFiles #EpsteinFiles #EpsteinFiles #EpsteinFiles #EpsteinFiles #EpsteinFiles #EpsteinFiles #EpsteinFiles #EpsteinFiles #EpsteinFiles #EpsteinFiles #EpsteinFiles #EpsteinFiles #EpsteinFiles #EpsteinFiles #EpsteinFiles #EpsteinFiles

We’ve devolved as a country to arguing if it’s better to feed hungry children or grant access to affordable healthcare.

You cannot convince me that @schumer.senate.gov isn’t a secret republican operative.

Donny Boy is just a bad little toddler who smears Cheeto dust on his face, poops his pants, and breaks his toys to get mommy’s attention.

Too many people equate “nonviolence” with feckless and it’s why Mango Mussolini keeps getting away with cartoon villain shit.

Taylor Swift, The Paper, Ezra Klein, and Chuck Schumer are the four horsemen of White Mediocrity.

“This is the worse TED Talk I’ve ever been to” - Every American General today

@schumer.senate.gov On Tuesday, SHUT IT DOWN. If the govt shuts down, I may lose my job. If it doesn’t, and you capitulate to the Orange Man, we may lose our country.

Me waking up this morning: “Goddamit” #RaptureDay

Guys, it was never vaccines. It was Tylenol all along! @rfk-junior.bsky.social

I never thought that the death of some mid tier right wing podcaster would somehow link directly to the dismantling of the Disney corporation, but here we are.

@chickfila.bsky.social So, when are you changing the fries recipe back? I miss the slightly soggy fries, they were my favorite thing at CFA.

@schumer.senate.gov I hope you’ve been seeing an orthopedic surgeon. You’ve got about 30 days to grow a spine before the CR ends.

Trump is going to come back from the dead out of spite.